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Brid-Aine Parnell

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Groupon office screen

Groupon plans MORE losses next quarter: Will lob wads of cash down marketing's maw

That brief period where it looked like voucher bazaar Groupon might actually make some money could be over already. The site has forecast a quarterly loss for its next financial results as it turns to advertising to try to keep its fortunes on track. Groupon said it was going to use a swathe of its money on advertising its …
Netflix House of Cards remake

Amazon fuses LoveFilm, subs service, calls it Prime Instant Video

Amazon has decided to fold its Prime delivery service into its LoveFilm Instant video streaming library to make a single Prime Instant Video subscription for Brits. Subscribers paying £79 a year will now get free one-day delivery on participating items when shopping at the online bazaar and access to Kindle books from Prime, as …
BlackBerry Messenger (BBM)

NHS care.data leaflet shovage: Like a 'notice for Earth's demolition' posted to Alpha Centauri

This was the week when Google advised its tech spec-wearing minions not to be "Glassholes". That's right, the Chocolate Factory has simultaneously caved in to the zinginess of the moniker for those sporting Google Glass and made the term that much less cool... Of course, the Choc Factory's marketing folk were a being a little …
Exoplanets

European Space Agency: PLATO will seek out 'ADVANCED LIFE forms'... 'SLIME'

The European Space Agency is planning to launch its own planet-hunting observatory in 2024, after the mission was chosen for the Cosmic Vision 2015-2025 programme. Exoplanets The Planetary Transits and Oscillations of stars, or PLATO, mission has been chosen to monitor relatively nearby stars, searching for the tiny dips in …

Boffins: You'll see, TWITTERNET! We'll get the TRUTH out of you...

While even emergency services have embraced Twitter as a way of conveying information to people quickly, the premature obituaries and malicious rumours seen on the social network every week show that you cannot trust what others tweet. That's why computer boffins from five European universities have started work on a lie …

Chinese regulators probe Qualcomm over 'unfair pricing' claims

China's antitrust regulator has accused chipmaker Qualcomm of abusing its market dominance and overcharging customers, charges that could see the firm hit with record fines of millions of dollars. The National Development and Reform Commission (NDRC) said that it started an investigation into the company last year after …

American Idol host's keyboard firm smacks back against BlackBerry in patent spat

Typo Keyboards, the iPhone keyboard firm co-founded by TV host Ryan Seacrest, has hit back at patent infringement claims from BlackBerry, claiming that the Canadian company's intellectual property isn't even valid. Typo said in a court filing that the patents BlackBerry is trying to assert against the firm over its attachable …
Kim Dotcom

Appeals court decides Dotcom warrant was legal after all

A court in New Zealand has ruled that the search warrant used in the arrest of Megaupload founder Kim Dotcom was legal, toppling a large part of his defence. The warrant used to arrest Dotcom at his mansion two years ago, as well as to seize his laptops and hard drives was previously ruled illegal back in June 2012, after a …
Angry woman on mobile

Steelie Neelie 'shocked' that EU tourists turn mobes off when abroad

Nearly half of European tourists say they would never use mobile internet in another EU country and over a quarter turn off their mobiles altogether over fears of monstrous phone bills when they get home. The European Commission, which is trying to get roaming charges abolished, surveyed 28,000 EU citizens and reckon that …
Candy Crush Saga

App-maker King hopes to CANDY-CRUSH $500m from IPO

Candy Crush Saga-maker King Digital Entertainment has filed for an initial public offering on the New York Stock Exchange, which it hopes will raise $500m for the firm. The Swedish firm had filed confidentially for its market debut with the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) in the US back in September under the relatively …

HP 'KNEW' about Autonomy's hardware sales BEFORE the whistle blew: report

HP knew about Autonomy's hardware and reseller sales long before a whistleblower pointed them out and the company wrote down its acquisition by $8.8bn, the Financial Times has claimed (paywall), citing emails and Deloitte audit reports. HP has accused Autonomy of "accounting improprieties, misrepresentations and disclosure …
Motoroheadphones Motorizer

IPO? Don't know what you're talking about, says Spotify as it seeks IPO report guru

Spotify has advertised for a new "external reporting specialist", fueling rumors that the online music streaming biz is getting ready for a stock-market debut. In a job ad on its website, Spotify said it was looking for someone who could "prepare the company for international financial standards". The new recruit should act as …
Volcano erupting

From 0 to ERUPTION in 60 days: You thought that volcano was COLD?

Volcanoes can become ready to blow in less time than scientists had previously thought, but their magma is usually kept in a cool, near-solid state. Volcano erupting New research on Mount Hood in Oregon suggests that volcanoes can come up with liquid hot magma in as little as a couple of months, but most of the time, they …
Dyson DC37 vacuum cleaners

Samsung flings sueball at Dyson for 'intolerable' IP copycat claim

Samsung is looking for 10 billion won ($9.43m) in compensation from Dyson after the vacuum maker dropped its patent lawsuit against the Korean firm. Dyson DC37 vacuum cleaners The chaebol is claiming that the IP litigation over its MotionSync range of hoovers damaged its corporate image. Dyson filed the suit with the UK High …
Viber logo

Play.com tech titan snaps up 'VoIP-tastic WhatsApp' firm Viber

Japanese ecommerce giant Rakuten will slurp messaging app Viber for $900m in cash as it continues its plans for world domination. The firm behind Play.com offers services from shopping to online video and is now adding messaging and VoIP to its repertoire courtesy of Viber, which is run from Cyprus by Israeli entrepreneur Talmon …
Tesco sells Tescopoly online

THOUSANDS of Tesco.com logins and passwords leaked online

Thousands of Tesco customers have had their emails and passwords posted online after hackers got their hands on the login details. A list of over 2,200 Tesco.com accounts was published on Pastebin yesterday and some customers have complained that their vouchers have gone missing from their accounts. Tesco customers took to the …
RoboCop

Smart getaway drivers would yell at Officer Glasshole: 'SafeSearch off, Horse porn'

Redundancies at big tech firms, including both HP and Dell, were big news this week. At HP, the company has refused to rule out making roles redundant in the UK and then shifting them to parts of Europe where average salaries are lower. Corporate PR Clare Loxley said eloquently: It's a mixture of activities [in the redundancy …
Dropbox IOS

Googorola's Dennis Woodside shuffles over to Dropbox

Googorola employee Dennis Woodside has reportedly been lured away from his role as chief exec of Motorola Mobility, ahead of its sale to Lenovo, to the newly created chief operating officer position at cloud sync and backup firm Dropbox. Woodside has been with Google for more than ten years and most recently headed up the Moto …
China's Jade Rabbit moon lander

IT'S ALIVE! China's Jade Rabbit rover RETURNS from the DEAD

It appears that China's Jade Rabbit lunar explorer is not as dead as it looked, as Chinese officials say that the moon rover has managed to awaken from its slumber. China initially reported that the country's first lunar rover, Yutu, or the Jade Rabbit, couldn't be restored after it experienced a "mechanical abnormality" right …
US spectrum map

Judge: Odds of bankrupt Lightsquared sorting itself out are 'zero'

Bankrupt wireless company LightSquared is hoping to submit a restructuring plan that its creditors can agree with by this Friday, although the judge in the bankruptcy case thinks it's unlikely the firm will get everybody on board. In a hearing yesterday, LightSquared's attorney said the company was aiming to file a …
Toyota Prius 3G

Random car shutdowns force Toyota to recall Prius hybrids - AGAIN

Toyota is recalling nearly two million of its Prius hybrid cars worldwide because of a software fault that can make the car slow down or even stop while it's being driven. Around half of the third-generation Prius cars being recalled are in Japan and over 700,000 are in North America, the carmaker said. In Blighty, the recall …

Scotland to test mobe signals slammer jammer

A pilot scheme to test mobile phone signal blocking technology in Scottish prisons will go live in two jails in the next few weeks, Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill announced. MacAskill was visiting HMP Shotts, one of the prisons chosen for the pilot, to see the technology beings installed and said that the scheme was due to …
Screaming kid

US Appeal Court slaps Apple for trying to shake antitrust monitor

The US Appeals Court has rejected Apple's bid to oust its court-appointed antitrust monitor, after Cupertino failed to convince the panel of three judges that he was doing the company irreparable harm. Apple was trying to have Michael Bromwich taken off the job for the time being while it pursues appeals both against his …
Dark, seasonal flows at Palikir Crater on Mars snapped by the High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment (HiRISE) camera on NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter.

Boffin talks WATER on MARS: Granted, no 'smoking gun', but all clues flow there...

Images of dark markings on the surface of Mars that appear to flow as the planet experiences seasonal changes have given boffins the strongest indication of possible liquid water on the planet, but it's proving difficult to come up with conclusive proof. Dark, seasonal flows at Palikir Crater on Mars snapped by the High …
HTC 8x

Nokia and HTC throw down swords, sign patent war peace treaty

Nokia and HTC have decided to bury the patent hatchet and spar no more in courts throughout the world after the two companies signed a patent and technology collaboration agreement. The two firms were just one pair of the many firms battling on multiple fronts in the Great Patent War, with ongoing lawsuits in Europe and the US, …

Apple investor Icahn backs down on share buyback plan

Activist investor Carl Icahn has laid down his sword and given up the fight to persuade Apple to launch a $50bn share buyback. His surprise capitulation comes after influential proxy firm ISS advised investors to vote against Icahn's proposal for Apple to buy back its own – thus allowing shareholders to get their mitts on some …
Cassini image of Jupiter. Pic: NASA

NASA promises balloon ride and über precise 'scope pointer for planet-gazing boffins

NASA has come up with a new pointing system named WASP (Wallops Arc Second Pointer) which gets planetary scientists closer to their target worlds. The Wallops Arc Second Pointer (WASP) payload suspended from a crane during a test deployment The Wallops Arc Second Pointer (WASP) payload suspended from a crane during a test …
RoboCop

NYPD dons Google tech specs: Part man. Part machine. All Glasshole

In the first step towards the future of law enforcement, New York's police department is beta-testing Google Glass to give its officers instant access to crime data. Just like the Terminator can analyse prospective Sarah Connors with a mere glance, the NYPD is hoping that the tech specs will allow cops to walk into a room and …

Facebook-for-suits biz LinkedIn shares drop on weakened 2014 outlook

Shares in business networking site LinkedIn have dropped 7.8 per cent in after-hours trading, struggling back from an earlier low of 15 per cent, after it predicted weaker-than-expected results for the first quarter. The professional network said that it now anticipates revenue in the quarter of between $455m and $460m, falling …
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

'I plead guilty to DDoS conspiracy and these GCHQ b*stards were doing the SAME thing?'

This was the week when Microsoft finally announced who was going to take over from outgoing chief Steve Ballmer, awarding the heavy crown to Satya Nadella. Bill Gates, who is stepping down as chairman but staying on the board as founder in the newly created role of "technology advisor", said in a video message that he reckoned …
IBM's Watson playing Jeopardy

IBM to invest $100m and a decade into using Watson in Africa

IBM is planning to invest $100m and 10 years on getting Africa hooked on its Watson supercomputer system. Big Blue said that it wants to use the system in "Project Lucy", named after the earliest known human ancestor, to help the continent in key areas like healthcare, education, sanitation and agriculture. "In the last decade …
Googorola logo

Google v Intellectual Ventures patent spat jury: Soz judge, we're stumped on this

A US judge has declared a mistrial in a patent lawsuit brought by Intellectual Ventures against Googorola after the jurors failed to reach a unanimous verdict in the case. The patent-holding firm set up by former Microsoftie Nathan Myhrvold is suing over three patents covering mobile phones and software, including one that …

Schmidt gets $100m in Google stock on top of his $6m bonus

Google chair Eric Schmidt has gotten his second $100m dose of restricted stock units in less than three years. The Chocolate Factory said in a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission that Schmidt was getting the stock award along with a $6m cash bonus for the year next week. The firm said the sizeable package was "in …
iPad Mini 2013 and iPad 4

Apple's STILL trying to shake off court-imposed antitrust monitor

Apple hasn't given up the fight to get its court-appointed antitrust monitor thrown out as it takes its case to the US Appeals Court. The fruity firm has been trying to persuade the courts to put off the monitor's appointment until it has appealed against the guilty verdict imposed on it last year for conspiring to fix ebook …
Artist's concept of Kepler 20e

Think British weather is bad? It's nothing to this WOBBLY ALIEN planet

Imagine a world where the weather is even more erratic than it is in old Blighty, where - famously - four seasons in one day aren't uncommon. Such a world is Kepler-413b. Kepler 413b system The tilt of this weird and wobbly world can vary by as much as 30 degrees over 11 years, leading to completely erratic seasons compared …
Dom Joly

Save Ofcom! Telcos and consumer groups call for end to legal disputes

Consumer groups and two telcos have written to the government in support of Ofcom's attempts to revamp its appeals process and stop legal challenges from obstructing its rulings. Which?, Consumer Futures, Three and TalkTalk have all signed a letter to culture secretary Maria Miller and business secretary Vince Cable that says …

First Dell, now IBM: 15,000 jobs face the axe at Big Blue, says union

IBM is set to spend another $1bn on job cuts this year to eliminate an estimated 15,000 jobs worldwide, according to trade union Alliance@IBM. The company has already spent the same amount of money last year on 'workforce rebalancing', its euphemism for redundancies. Big Blue's chief financial officer for finance and enterprise …
IBM's System x3100 M4

IBM nearly HALVES its effective tax rate in 2013 - report

IBM has managed to legally reduce its tax payouts by billions of dollars after sending its profits through a Netherlands subsidiary that acts as a holding company for more than 40 of its firms worldwide, according to Bloomberg. At the end of 2012 IBM had accumulated $44.4bn of offshore profits on which it hadn't paid US taxes, …

Intel to top execs: Company doing better? OK, have a carrot

Intel has decided to shake up executive pay at the firm to make top employees more accountable for the company's earnings at a time when its main cash cow, the PC market, is struggling to make money. Chipzilla has decreed that performance-based awards for senior execs will no longer have a minimum value, so in theory they could …
Reading Room British Library, St Pancras by Paul Grundy.

UK libraries trial free access to scientific research

Hundreds of thousands of journal articles are to be made available to the public in Blighty's local libraries after a government consultation on how to expand access to publicly funded research. The Access to Research Initiative is kicking off a two-year pilot programme today, after major publishers like the Nature Group, …
An artist's conception of Kepler-34b which orbits a double-star system

Boffins tell ALIEN twin-sunned planets: You're adopted

Whether you're talking about Magrathea, Tattooine or Gallifrey, Earth's favourite alien life-forms frequently come from planets with two suns. But the likelihood is that those planets actually ended up orbiting two stars after being made somewhere else entirely. An artist's conception of Kepler-34b which orbits a double-star …

Twitter avoids IP face-off with Big Blue, will buy 900 IBM patents

Six-year-old Twitter has agreed to buy 900 patents from IP superstore IBM after Big Blue threatened to sue the microblogging firm last year. IBM wrote to Twitter just before the company was due to go public last year, telling the firm that it was infringing on at least three of Big Blue's patents and inviting the company to sort …
Candy Crush Saga

Devs: We'll bury Candy Crush King under HEAPS of candy apps

Independent game-makers are hoping to inundate Apple's App Store with "candy" games in a demonstration against Candy Crush Saga-maker King for its trademark of the word CANDY. In a rather pointed protest, the developers have launched a game jam to try to get as many app-makers as possible to come up with games using candy, with …

NASA probe orbiting Moon sights ANOTHER SPACECRAFT

NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO) has snapped a picture of a spacecraft flying over the Moon beneath it - unfortunately, it was one of the space agency's own satellites. LRO snaps pic of LADEE LRO was ready on the camera when the Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer (LADEE) craft passed below in orbit around …
Apple iPhone 4 (left) and Samsung Galaxy S 4G (right)

Apple and Samsung STILL in bitchfight over banning ancient mobes

Apple and Samsung were back in court yesterday arguing over the potential ban on Sammy products found infringing on the fruity firm's patents. Samsung claims Apple only wants the ban to strike fear into the hearts of telcos and retailers who sell Samsung products. District Court Judge Lucy Koh rejected Apple's first attempt to …
Mars jelly doughnut

'I had a rare Twitter handle... I was extorted into giving it up'

This was the week when a developer was blackmailed out of a rare, single-letter Twitter handle by a hacker who claims to have social-engineered their way into his life through GoDaddy and PayPal. Naoki Hiroshima, once the proud owner of the Twitter account @N, said he was forced to give up the account to a hacker who had gained …
Jurassic Park Ultimate Trilogy Blu-ray disc set

Fujitsu: PC market... doomed? LOLZ. NOT FOR US, pal

Japanese firm Fujitsu has been helped along to a profit in the last quarter of 2013 by the weaker yen and strong sales in the enterprise sector. The company even managed growth in the sale of PCs, no mean feat in the current PC market nightmare, as it upped sales primarily to business customers. Fujitsu said its net profit for …
Neanderthal display in museum

Gene boffins: Yes, you. Staring at the screen. You're a NEANDERTHAL

Humanity is still hanging on to over 20 per cent of the Neanderthal genome, which influences modern attributes from skin and hair to nicotine addiction and diseases. Neanderthal display in museum Over 30,000 years ago groups of Homo sapiens migrating out of Africa started running into Neanderthals, who had diverged from …
Glass Collective

Google Glassholes, GET OFF our ROADS, thunder lawmakers in seven US states

Seven US states are looking into banning wearable computers like Google Glass while driving, shortly after a high-profile court case in California where a Glasshole got off scot-free. Cecilia Abadie was stopped and cited for wearing her Google Glass but was later let off the ticket because of a lack of proof that the specs were …
MP Margaret Hodge in the Commons

MP 'shocked' at failures 'at the top' of the BBC over epic DMI tech fail

Labour MP Margaret Hodge, chair of the Public Accounts Committee, has said that the failure of the BBC to realise that its Digitial Media Initiative uber-project was headed for certain doom went "right to the top". Hodge, who is due to quiz senior members of the Beeb again on Monday next week, said that she was shocked by the …