Brid-Aine Parnell

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UK.gov quietly slips extra cash to AUTO ROBOTICA bods

The UK government is adding another £9m to the pot for driverless car trials in Blighty, allowing four cities to start the tests next year instead of three. Although it didn’t feature in Chancellor George Osborne’s speech, the Autumn Statement said the UK is adding the extra funds into the previously announced £10m competition …
cloud

IBM inks another billion-dollar deal... with The Other Advertising Giant

IBM has announced another big outsourcing contract, nabbing a new deal with WPP, the world’s top advertising firm, for $1.25bn. Big Blue has worked with the ad giant before, but this is a new services contract to run its global tech platform in the cloud over the next seven years. The contract comes hot on the heels of another …
Steve Jobs

DEAD STEVE JOBS accuses Real Networks of 'hacking' iPods

The Apple iPod antitrust case kicked off yesterday as lawyers suggested that emails from the late Steve Jobs showed he intentionally broke competition laws by restricting music purchases for iTunes customers. Early iPod fanbois and gurls are suing the fruity firm for unfairly blocking competition in digital music by forcing …

Gorilla Glass maker gobbles Samsung's fibre optic biz

Samsung is selling off its fibre optics business to US smartphone glass supplier Corning, including production facilities in China and South Korea. Naturally, the companies didn’t share the terms of the deal, but Corning said it expected to complete the acquisition in by the end of the first quarter next year. Corning, which is …
Artist's rendering of the Orion spacecraft at the Moon

Orion: To Mars, the Moon and beyond... but first, a TEST FLIGHT through Van Allen belt

NASA’s Orion spacecraft, rescued from the chop by President Barack Obama and aimed at reviving the US’s dormant manned space exploration with trips to Mars, the Moon and asteroids, will have its first test flight this week. Youtube Video The Apollo-like ship has been seen by some as nothing more than a stealthy bit of …
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Brits conned out of nearly £24m in phone scams IN ONE YEAR

Brits have lost three times as much money in phone scams in the last year than they did the year before, according to Financial Fraud Action UK. The organisation, which works with consumers, retailers and the police as well as the financial services industry, said that 58 per cent of people said they’d received suspect calls, up …
Kim Dotcom at the NZ parliamentary hearing

Kim Dotcom Dotcan remain on bail, despite Fed protests

The US Feds have failed to get Kim Dotcom’s bail revoked ahead of the extradition hearing in New Zealand to decide if he will have to go stateside to face online piracy charges. The Megaupload founder has avoided awaiting the hearing in jail as an Auckland court has rejected the idea that he might be a flight risk, as well as …

Sony Pictures hires Mandiant, asks FBI for help after MASSIVE cyber attack

Sony Pictures Entertainment (SPE) has hired FireEye’s Mandiant forensics unit to help it clean up the huge cyber attack that knocked out its network and forced its employees to put pen to paper over the last few weeks. The company has also asked the FBI to investigate the incident and look into the leak of four of its upcoming …
Samsung Galaxy S5

Shin avoids boot: Samsung hangs onto mobile chief despite crappy Galaxy S5 sales

Samsung has surprisingly opted to hang onto its current head of mobile JK Shin, despite rumours that he was for the chop after the mobile division underperformed all year. Reports suggested last week that Shin would be ousted in favour of appliances and telly boss BK Yoon because sales of Sammy’s latest flagship, the Galaxy S5, …
Can you figure out the mystery company?

Some of the week's tech news in VIDEO EGG form!

Youtube Video Want this week's top tech news as read to you by a cynical little egg? Then tune in as our very own Regina Eggbert talks about that M-company's Chinese tax bill, Twitter telling us what we all should have known already and Steelie Neelie sobs as European net neutrality runs into trouble. To find out more about …
Kim Dotcom at the NZ parliamentary hearing

'America radicalised me!' cries Megaupload founder Kim Dotcom

QuoTW This week’s security scare came in the form of Regin, the highly advanced malware that’s said to be as sophisticated as Stuxnet and Duqu. Symantec researchers were the first to report the evil software, saying: Regin is a complex piece of malware whose structure displays a degree of technical competence rarely seen. …

Nordic Samuel Beckett meets Kafka meets Gervais: Modern office parable The Room

Page File Anyone who’s ever toiled under the glaring fluorescence of the dreary modern office will enjoy the slow descent of Björn from meticulous “man of the future” to nutty “monster”, courtesy of an unassuming ergonomically designed private office in his building. Told entirely from Björn’s point of view, Jonas Karlsson’s The Room has …
Candy Crush Saga

Candy Crush King king resigns for 'personal reasons'

The chairman of Candy Crush-maker King has quit as the head of the firm and stepped down from the board for “personal reasons”, the company said. Melvyn Morris, who is also the firm’s second-largest shareholder, has taken a leave of absence with immediate effect, leaving fellow board member Gerhard Florin to take over as chair …
Suitcase bulging with cash

Yahoo! CIO sued for alleged kickback scam during his stint as Netflix veep

Yahoo! and its CIO Mike Kail may have a problem on their hands, after his former employer Netflix launched a civil suit against him for allegedly accepting kickbacks when he was working as their veep of IT operations. Netflix filed the suit in California this week, accusing Kail of taking “commissions” on products and services …
The Samsung Galaxy S5 in 'copper'

Samsung makes investors happy with $1bn share buyback

Samsung has announced a plan to buy back $2bn worth of its shares, after investors pressured the firm for higher returns. The Korean chaebol will buy back 1.65 million common shares and 250,000 preferred shares in its first buyback since 2007, and the second-largest ever. Sammy said in a regulatory filing the stock repurchases …
Tongue

ASA raps 'F*CK YOU GOOGLE' vlogger + chums over VIDEO LICKFEST

The Advertising Standards Authority has rapped the knuckles of video bloggers for making it unclear when they’re actually recommending something and when they’ve been paid to hawk it to unsuspecting YouTubers. Vloggers, as we’re apparently meant to call them now, are big business these days with stars like Blighty’s Zoella …
Kim Dotcom

Megaupload overlord Kim Dotcom: The US HAS RADICALISED ME!

Vid Megaupload founder, wannabe politician and wanted man Kim Dotcom has spent all of his money trying to avoid extradition to the US to face online piracy charges. Youtube Video The internet entrepreneur told the unBound Digital conference in London yesterday that fighting the law and attempting to launch his political career had …

UK.gov biz dept: Yoof APPRENTICE? Get a degree while YOU'RE HIRED

Blighty’s government has come up with a new plan to get kids into science, tech, engineering and maths careers – by giving ‘em a degree along with their apprenticeship. The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills (BIS) reckons degree apprenticeships could “revolutionise” the way the yoof get their digital skills and has …
The MSN Santa (unconfirmed)

Amazon’s CHRISTMAS QUEUEING bonanza!

Amazon is giving the Royal Mail a leg up this Christmas by agreeing to allow folks to pick up parcels at their local post office. Just a few weeks ago, the Royal Mail said that its parcel business was being hit hard by rivals such as Amazon, and it expected more of the same over the holiday season. Now the mega-etailer has …
BT Openreach van

Mighty Blighty broadbanders beg: Let us lay cable in BT's, er, ducts

Updated Blighty's broadband providers are once again at Ofcom to do something about the alleged monopoly they believe former national telco BT maintains in the business broadband sector. Sky, TalkTalk, EE, Virgin Media and Vodafone are all part of the UK Competitive Telecommunications Association (UKCTA), which is pressuring Ofcom to …
O2 XDA Argon

BT in talks to RE-SLURP O2 after spitting it out a decade ago

BT could be the new owner of Blighty mobe network O2 if talks with Spanish parent Telefonica go well. The ex-national telco has confirmed the talks, which were first reported on Spanish website El Confidencial. Sources told the site that Telefonica was keen on selling O2 to British Telecom in return for a 20 per cent stake in …
The full Expedition 42 crew aboard the ISS

We come bearing caviar: ISS 'nauts arrive at station in SPAAACE

The latest members of the International Space Station's crew have arrived on board – and they come bearing gifts. The full Expedition 42 crew aboard the ISS The full Expedition 42 crew aboard the ISS. From left: Roscosmos cosmonauts Anton Shkaplerov and Yelena Serova, ESA astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti, NASA astronauts Butch …
Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor

NOW! It's news to us at Vulture Central

Vid Youtube Video The Reg serves up the highlights of this week with consummate ovoid avatar Regina Eggbert. This week, Regina fills us in on what's new with wearables, RBS's costly regulatory rap for 2012's massive IT meltdown and the crowdfunded British mission to the Moon. If you want more on this week's stories, click here, …
Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) in The Fifth Element

The Genome: Loose morals ... and even looser plotlines

Page File The Genome is the latest novel from Sergei Lukyanenko, the sci-fi and fantasy author, and now modern Russian figurehead for the genre since his Night Watch novel was made into one of the few Russian movies to cross over to Western blockbuster status. Anton (Konstantin Khabenskiy) in Night Watch Anton (Konstantin Khabenskiy) in …
Vladislav (Jemaine Clement) in What We Do In The Shadows

What We Do In The Shadows? Laugh ourselves silly, mostly

Film Review It’s hard to believe that What We Do In The Shadows has been eight years in the making, given its spot-on, bang-up-to-date parody of both the vampire obsession and found footage/fake documentary style movies. The gang in What We Do In The Shadows (L-R)Vladislav, Viago, Petyr, Nick and Stu with Deacon above. Credit: What We Do …
Star Trek: Patterns of Force

'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT

QuoTW This was the week when hacktivist collective Anonymous decided to take on the Ku Klux Klan after a local chapter of the white supremacist group threatened protesters in Ferguson, Missouri. Say what you like about Nazis, they had lovely uniforms. And ears Anonymous took out websites and Twitter accounts for the group, as well …
CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon

Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k

The UK-backed attempt to crowdfund a mission to the Moon has got off to a roaring start, raising over a third of its £600,000 goal in just three days. CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon Lunar Mission One, which wants to get a new lander on the Moon in 2024 to give the space rock a deep drilling (and drop off some …
Maurice Moss, IT Crowd

Countdown contestant pays homage to IT Crowd's Moss

In one of the world’s greatest self-referential in-jokes, Countdown contestant Danny Davies has worn a T-shirt commemorating the appearance of Maurice Moss on Countdown in an episode of The IT Crowd. Youtube Video Davies appeared on the show wearing a T-shirt that said “Good morning, that’s a nice TNETENNBA” in homage to Moss, …

Ofcom snatches 700MHz off digital telly, hands it to mobile data providers

Ofcom is planning to nick some of the airwaves currently used by digital terrestrial telly and hand them over for the nation's mobile broadband use. The regulator said today that it would make the 700MHz spectrum available for mobile data to make services faster and cheaper, although the changes won’t come into effect until 2022 …
World's largest billboard on New York's Times Square

Google bags OBSCENELY LARGE Times Square ad space for New Year's

Google is the first customer to book advertising space on a gigantic new billboard on Times Square, which has a going rate of more than $2.5m for four weeks. World's largest billboard on New York's Times Square The newly unveiled megascreen is currently showing a digital art exhibition until 24 November, after which the …
CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon

HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rockin' boffin Brian Cox

A UK nonprofit, funded via Kickstarter – and endorsed by famous rockstar TV boffin Brian Cox – aims to land a robot probe (a probot, as some call them) on the Moon: one with an unusual purpose. And the team is sure that if the mission is a success, there will be human DNA at the site. CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon …
Airware video

ATTACK OF THE DRONES: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

A House of Lords committee has been told that while civilians are “undoubtedly” using drones to get up to no good, it was pretty difficult to do anything about it. Chief Inspector Nick Aldworth of the Metropolitan Police told the EU Internal Market, Infrastructure and Employment sub-committee that drones, known as Remotely …
TechDemoSat-1 shot of planet Earth

MYSTERY Russian satellite: ORBITAL WEAPON? Sat GOBBLER? What?

A Russian spacecraft – conceivably some kind of satellite-nobbling or -gobbling orbital weapons platform – is circling Earth, and Russia isn't saying anything about it. Nobody seems to know what it’s doing up there, nor what it's capable of doing. Kosmos 2499, Object 2014-28E or NORAD 39765, whatever you call it, this strange …

We come bearing internet: Google sends up Project Loon balloons in second test

Google is to run another test flight for its Project Loon internet-bringing balloons, this time sending up 20 new helium gas bags in Australia in partnership with Telstra. The Australian Associated Press reported that a second trial of the moonshot project will be taking place over western Queensland in December. Google had not …
Artist's impression of Philae on Comet 67P

THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

European Space Agency (ESA) boffins reckon they may have located the final touchdown site for their comet-intercepting Philae lander, after its bouncy landing caused them to lose track of it temporarily. Philae's bouncing touchdown seen in Rosetta NAVCAM pics Philae's touchdown site seen by Rosetta's navigation camera. The …
Amnesia cover

Amnesia: A mad Aussie dash through history, hacking and the CIA

Page File Never has the long shadow of America across the world been so ominous and so ephemeral as it is in the wake of Edward Snowden’s NSA revelations and Wikileaks. Data surveillance and the huge US presence in the tech and internet worlds have contributed to a sense of America as the omnipresent, unseen superpower in a way that no …
Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor

NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums

Youtube Video This week, Regina talks about Facebook's new (non-unfriend) News Feed feature and its seemingly underused Messenger app, the surprisingly creepy Amazon Echo, and the Microsoft Lumia that is not (repeat not) a Nokia. Didn't get enough info from the talking egg? Click here, here, here or here for more. ® Regina …
Artist's impression of Philae on Comet 67P

COMET lander DRILL CLIFFHANGER as last dregs of power used

The Philae team has opted to use what could be the last of the comet-catching lander’s power to deploy its drill, in the hopes of collecting the chemical analysis that could answer fundamental questions about life on Earth. Artist In a nail-biting cliffhanger end to the lander's story, the plucky probot’s protuberance had …

Nokia: Buh-bye LUMIA and cash-sucking handset pals... LET'S MAKE SOME MONEY!

Nokia has raised its long-term profitability target and expects its new business of concentrating strictly on the telecoms equipment game to grow next year. The Finnish firm, which has focused on making telco gear and its intellectual property portfolio since ditching its handset unit earlier this year, said that strong demand …
Philae ROLIS view of the comet landing site from 40m

Rosetta probot drilling DENIED: Philae has its 'LEG in the AIR'

Tough choices lie ahead for Rosetta's Philae scientists after they discovered that the lander’s bouncing touchdown has pushed it into the shadow of a cliff, making it unlikely that its batteries can recharge. Rosetta's OSIRIS snaps Philae as a dot on its way to Comet 67P Philae on its way to Comet 67P. Credit: ESA/Rosetta/MPS …
Philae takes a first look at the surface of Comet 67P

Philae healthier... beams CHEESE: Proud ESA shows off FIRST COMET SURFACE PIC

The ESA’s historic comet-landing probot Philae has re-established contact with mission control and is currently stable on the surface. El Reg's space vulture Brid-Aine Parnell reports from mission command at the ESA ops complex at Darmstadt, Germany. Philae takes a first look at the surface of Comet 67P BEHOLD! The first …
Philae ROLIS view of the comet landing site from 3km

BOUNCY BOUNCY: Comet probot Philae landed TWICE

Pic ESA scientists are still a bit baffled about just how they managed to land their Philae probe on the surface of Comet 67P after the craft's harpoons failed to fire into the rock. And they think it’s possible Philae landed not once, but twice. It's the first time ever humanity has set down on a comet – and this one's 500 million …
Artist's impression of Philae on Comet 67P

SUPER-JAMMY Philae comet probe got down WITHOUT harpoons

ESA head of mission operations Paolo Ferri has said that the harpoons meant to anchor the Philae lander to the surface of Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko did not actually fire as they'd thought earlier. Artist's impression of Philae on Comet 67P But regardless, the craft is reporting that it’s stable on the space-rock, so the …
Agilkia landing site on November 6

'Yes, yes... YES!' Philae lands on COMET 67P

The ESA has succeeded in humanity’s first ever attempt to land a man-made probe on a comet after Philae touched down on the surface of Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. “Yes, yes, YES!” said Andrea Accamazzo, Rosetta flight director. “We see the lander sitting on the ground!” After a tense build-up, the European Space Agency’s …
How Philae lands on the comet

Philae heads for comet, reports back to mothercraft Rosetta

Pic The Philae lander’s science centre has had its first data update from the spacecraft, which has sent the first of many images, along with data, from its scientific instruments. El Reg's space vulture Brid-Aine Parnell reports from mission command at the ESA ops complex at Darmstadt, Germany. Philae snaps Rosetta spacecraft …
Rosetta

DODGY THRUSTER won't stop PHILAE hurtling toward COMET SHOWDOWN

The fridge-sized science 'bot the European Space Agency hopes will land on a comet hurtling through space today has successfully separated from its comet-chasing parent craft, Rosetta. Scientists at ESA Mission Control look on nervously as Philae approaches the comet. Pic: ESA/J. Mai Scientists at ESA Mission Control look on …
Philae

DRAMA in SPACE: But Philae KEEPS TRYING to HARPOON COMET

The ESA's comet-chaser spacecraft Rosetta will send its lander Philae towards Comet 67P on Wednesday – after some scrambling by boffins here in Germany over the past few hours to get the probe ready for its historic landing attempt. The comet is hurtling through space at 135,000km per hour towards the Sun, and the ESA hopes …
67P_Churyumov_Gerasimenko_August_8th

Euro space boffins ready, mere HOURS from flinging Rosetta lander at Comet 67P

The ESA's comet probe Philae has been given the first official nod in its historic attempt to land on Comet 67P: boffins at the European Space Agency say the lander's Rosetta mothercraft is on the right path towards the soaring cosmic rock. The agency's European Space Operations Centre (ESOC) Flight Dynamics staff had to confirm …
Agilkia landing site on November 6

FIRST for HUMANITY: Fridge-size PROBOT headed for COMET TOUCHDOWN

The European Space Agency is at the eve of one of its most ambitious projects: the passive landing of a small scientific craft on the surface of a comet that’s hurtling through space at over 60,000kmph. Your El Reg correspondent will be reporting from the ESA control centre at Darmstadt, Germany, bringing you the story as it …
Pile of mobiles

Samsung, Vietnam in talks over another BEEELLION-DOLLAR mobe factory

Samsung Electronics has applied for a licence to open a new $3bn smartphone factory in northern Vietnam, near an existing facility. Sammy is planning to build the plant in Thai Nguyen province, where it already has a $2bn phone factory that it opened in March, Dau Tu newspaper originally reported. In an emailed statement, the …