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Dyson DC37 vacuum cleaners

One step closer to ROBOT BUTLERS: Dyson flashes vid of VACUUM SUCKER bot

Video of Dyson's new hoover, sucking away. Dyson is trying out the Apple school of marketing with a teaser video for its newest product, due out on 4 September. The vacuum cleaner and fan manufacturer has popped a 26-second short on its YouTube account that appears to be shot from a camera mounted on the new piece of tech. …
IBM Watson QA Power7 cluster

IBM: OK, Watson, you've won Jeopardy. Now, CURE CANCER

IBM has found yet another use for its Jeopardy-winning Watson supercomputer, launching a new system called Watson Discovery Advisor to analyse scientific and medical research. The new cloud-based system can figure out scientific language well enough to know how chemical compounds interact and can also understand the nuances of …
Groupon office screen

Groupon sales reps' overtime pay suit not eligible for class action

Groupon sales staff have failed to get class action status for their lawsuit against the firm, which accuses the voucher bazaar of not bothering to pay them for overtime before and after its 2011 IPO. The employees were trying to get all sales workers in on the action by getting class status for the suit, but Chicago judge …
Qualcomm PdQ 1900

Qualcomm to get it from both sides? EU probe may be coming – report

Mobile chipmaker Qualcomm could be facing into an antitrust probe from the EU at the same time as it fends off a similar investigation in China, according to Reuters. Sources whispered to the news agency that the European Commission may be about to open up an official line of inquiry into a complaint made by Icera, an Nvidia …
Top view of the Holometer as a Fermilab scientist works on the apparatus

Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

How can we tell from the inside of our Universe if it’s actually real or just a hologram? Boffins at Fermilab have set out to answer this thorny question with a new experiment in the National Accelerator Lab called the Holometer. A Fermilab scientist works on the laser beams at the heart of the Holometer experiment Lasers are …
Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor

Not really very live at all from London - It's the Vulture News videocast

Youtube Video Here it is! The debut of inestimable news anchor Regina Eggbert - bringing you the top headlines of this week in a style that only The Reg would approve of, generated by our pioneering inhouse lean-CGI technology. The full story behind Regina's headlines this week can be found here, here, here and here. ® …
Echopraxia by Peter Watts

Echopraxia scores 'diamond cutter' on the sci-fi hardness scale

There’s hard sci-fi and then there’s the likes of Peter Watts’ Echopraxia, a book that should come with its own scientific reference library to aid reading. Usually, being a fan of science-heavy writing and having a smattering of real-world knowledge is enough to unlock a hard sci-fi world – you just kind of lean back and let …
blue screen of death

'Video on internet may not be entirely truthful': Times headline

This was the week when the infamous and terrifying Blue Screen of Death made its return to Windows systems. Folks who said yes to Microsoft’s 40 updates for Internet Explorer, Windows 7 and Windows 8 Pro were left tearing their hair out when the patches started bricking their machines. People had believed, or at least hoped, …

Samsung bags second Internet of Home Stuff home firm in a week

Samsung has announced its second smart home slurp in a week with the acquisition of heating, ventilation and air conditioning distributor Quietside. Samsung Electronics America said that it had agreed to buy the firm, which already distributes Sammy products, but didn’t disclose the terms of the deal. The company said that …

Felony charges? Harsh! Alleged Anon hackers plead guilty to misdemeanours

Four hackers in the US have pleaded guilty to misdemeanours after a judge questioned why prosecutors were attempting to press felony charges. The hackers, alleged to be part of hacktivist collective Anonymous, were allowed to plead guilty over the telephone to the charge of conspiring to intentionally cause damage to a protected …

UK.gov sinks another £1.6m into Internet of Stuff spec HyperCat

Blighty has announced another £1.6m in funding for its Internet of Stuff standard HyperCat, courtesy of the government’s Technology Strategy Board. In a bid to go all Tim Berners-Lee on the much-hyped Internet of Things, UK.gov has teamed up with tech heavyweights like IBM and ARM to deliver an interoperability standard for …
Call of Duty: Ghosts

Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio

Videogame kingpin Activision Blizzard is reportedly considering launching its own movie studio division to turn its games into films and TV shows. Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil This movie adaptation of Resident Evil was quite popular for some reason... Videogame adaptations have had mixed success to say the least, with some …
Curiosity looks down the ramp at the northeastern end of Hidden Valley towards Mount Sharp

CRR-CRRRK, beep, beep: Mars space truck backs out of slippery sand trap

Curiosity, our favourite Mars-cruising nuclear truck, has just dusted off its latest potential drilling target, the “Bonanza King” rock. Curiosity brushes potential drill target Bonanza King The rover used its aptly named Dust Removal Tool on its robotic arm to sweep off the red, oxidised dust on the surface of the planet and …
A dragon in Game of Thrones

Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?

Brits are very concerned about the potential for life-threatening incidents involving dragon attacks, asteroid crashes and ghostly manifestations and they want their local council to do something about it, if their FoI requests are anything to go by. A dragon in Game of Thrones England’s Local Government Association has …
Hallucigenia animation

Boffins ID freakish spine-smothered prehistoric critter: The CLAW gave it away

The surrealist nightmare worm Hallucigenia, so-called because of its otherworldly appearance and apparent lack of place on the taxonomic ranks, has finally found its place in evolutionary history... and even appears to have some modern-day descendants. Hallucigenia animation Hallucigenia is one of the most bizarre-looking …

Google straps on Jetpac: An app to find hipsters, women in foreign cities

Google has bought Jetpac, an image-recognition app that uses Instagram photos to help travelers find what they’re looking for in cities – women or hipster moustaches, for example. The software's website declared that it was joining the internet behemoth and would be taking its apps off the App Store and ending support for them …
Smart home

Samsung slurps Internet of Home Stuff upstart SmartThings

Samsung is all set to slurp home automation platform SmartThings in another manoeuvre to prime the firm for the Internet of Stuff – if it should ever arrive. SmartThings is a platform that connects a range of consumer IoT devices for the house together into a smartphone app that works on iOS and Android. The company is a smart …
Ciscoblood

Cisco prepares to take $700m hit to make 6,000 layoffs

Cisco has said that it will be hit with $700m in charges in fiscal 2015 in the restructuring plan that will see the firm axe 6,000 employees. The company said in a regulatory filing that it expects to recognise around $250m to $350m of these charges in the first quarter of the next financial year and the rest throughout the year …

eBay in talks with Bitcoin firms about payments processing

PayPal is reportedly in talks with Bitcoin firms to integrate the e-currency into its recently acquired Braintree payments system, according to the Wall Street Journal. eBay’s subsidiary has been chatting to Bitcoin facilitators like Coinbase about getting Braintree to accept the virtual cash, but has yet to reach any agreements …
Advanced English Dictionary

'Aaaah FFS, 'amazeballs' has made it into the OXFORD DICTIONARY'

This was the week when so-called “sharing economy” car firms – more accurately “slightly different ways to turn a profit” car firms – Uber and Lyft got into a bit of a barney. Lyft told CNN that Uber staff were pranking the company out of profits by ordering rides and then cancelling them, as well as ordering Lyft services for a …
Sorry we're closed

Brits' BORKED Samsung kit held up after repair centre slips into administration

British Samsung repair centre Samuel King Intelligent IT Solutions has gone under, leaving folks stranded without their serviceable Sammy equipment. The repair firm, which fixes mobiles, TVs, laptops and other Samsung tech, said on its website that it had gone into administration, without giving any further information other …
Basis health-tracking wearable

Intel launches Internet of Stuff Parkinson's research project

Intel has teamed up with the Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research to test a way to use the Internet of Stuff for a useful end – to help find a cure for the second most prevalent neurodegenerative disease in the world. Youtube Video So far, wearable tech and the much-vaunted "Internet of Things" label (IoT) – or as …
anonymous logo

Anonymous threatens to name cop who shot dead unarmed Michael Brown

A group claiming to be affiliated with hacktivist collective Anonymous has threatened to release the name of the police officer who shot unarmed teen Michael Brown in the town of Ferguson, Missouri. Operation Ferguson says it is a group of hackers linked to Anonymous. It was set up a day after the 18-year-old black man was shot …
Fields Medal winner Maryam Mirzakhani

Stanford boffin is first woman to bag 'math Nobel Prize'

Iranian academic Maryam Mirzakhani is today the first woman to be awarded the prestigious Fields Medal, known as the “Nobel Prize of mathematics”. Mirzakhani, a professor of maths at Stanford University, landed the top gong for her work on the symmetry of curved surfaces. You can all about her research, right here [PDF]. "This …
australian credit cards fraud contactless

Amazon takes swipe at PayPal, Square with card reader for mobes

Amazon has launched its own mobile payments device and app at a starting price that undercuts existing tech from Square and PayPal. Youtube Video Amazon’s “Local Register” popped up in a YouTube video and a dedicated site online before the mega etailer officially announced it. Anyone who signs up to the secure card reader by …
Double Facepalm; when one facepalm is not enough.

Password manager LastPass goes titsup: Users LOCKED OUT

Popular password management service LastPass went on the blink today, leaving users locked out of their accounts. Reg reader Tim Stephenson, head of IT at Liftshare, told us that the firm’s employees had experienced timeouts trying to access the site, browser plugins weren’t responding and users couldn’t authenticate themselves …
Racks inside Rackspace's Sydney Data Centre

Rackspace: Record revenue shows managed cloud strategy 'working'

Despite record revenue growth in the second quarter and good expectations for this quarter, profit at Rackspace Inc was flat, disappointing shareholders. The former hosting firm said it had added thousands of new customers as it tries to transition itself into a cloud company in the midst of serious price competition from the …
TechDemoSat-1 shot of planet Earth

Blighty in SPAAAACE: Brit-built satellite films the Earth

Youtube Video of the satellite footage of the planet Earth. An experiment-filled Brit satellite has released a minute-long video of planet Earth – the first images of our home world captured by an entirely UK-built spacecraft. The TechDemoSat-1, made by Surrey Satellite Technology (SSTL), filmed the short sequence moments after …

Stephen Hawking biopic: Big on romance, not so much with the science?

The first trailer for Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything hints at a movie heavy on the romance and tragedy of the renowned physicist’s life. Trailer for Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything The film, based on Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen, the memoir of Hawking’s first wife Jane Wilde, …
Photo of burning books

Amazon smacks back at Hachette in e-book pricing battle: We're doing it for the readers

Amazon’s latest PR stunt for its contract dispute with publisher Hachette has seen the mega etailer establish a “Readers United” group in response to writers’ group “Authors United” to put pressure on the publishing house to lower its book prices. This comes after writers including Philip Pullman and John Grisham took out a full …

China cracks down on instant messengers: Users must hand over REAL NAMES

China has tightened rules regulating the use of instant messengers, forcing users to reveal their real names when registering so their identities can be linked to their content. In much the same way as with social networks – although clearly for different reasons – the State Internet Information Office (SIIO) is requiring users …
The self-folding crawling robot in three stages

Tiny transforming bots: Meet these self-assembling 'thoughtful' droids

Engineers have come up with self-folding robots that can put themselves together and crawl away on their own – although batteries must be included. Three stages of the origami robots assembling Three stages of the origami robots assembling. (Credit: Seth Kroll) Foldable ‘bots are nothing new, but this is the first time that …
Farmville on the iPhone

Farmville maker Zynga delays new games after losing 57 MILLION users

Zynga has slashed its financial forecast for this year and delayed the launch of several new titles after reporting weaker-than-expected second quarter results. The company, best known for its FarmVille game on Facebook, has lost 57 million monthly active users since the same quarter last year, dropping to 130 million from 187 …

'Be super careful with AI. It's potentially more dangerous than NUKES'

This week will go down in IT history as the week Microsoft scrapped its long-running fixer-upper day of the week – Patch Tuesday. No longer will Tuesdays be about Redmond plugging the latest breaches in software and sorting out its security problems. Now Tuesdays will be about… updates. Yes, indeed, by changing the name of the …

Cor blimey: Virgin Media pipes 152Mb fibre to 100,000 East Londoners

Virgin Media has announced the largest single expansion of its fibre optic network yet, extending its 152Mb broadband service to 100,000 homes in East London. The area was chosen because it’s close to existing Virgin Media infrastructure. Areas set to receive Virgin's pipes will include Bethnal Green, the Isle of Dogs and West …
Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko

SCORE: Rosetta probe hits orbit of duck-shaped comet

After a 10-year-long chase of the pleasingly duck-shaped "67P", the European Space Agency’s Rosetta probe has become the first spacecraft in history to rendezvous with a comet. Watch live streaming video from eurospaceagency at livestream.com “After 10 years, five months and four days travelling towards our destination, …
Alistair Darling and Alex Salmond debate Scottish independence

Scottish independence debate: STV player flops under weight of viewers

In what could be taken as an ominous sign for the future, Brits below the Scottish border were unable to live stream the debate on Scotland’s independence last night – because the STV Player crashed under the weight of viewers trying to watch the event. The debate between pro-independence First Minister Alex Salmond and Labour …
samsung workers

Samsung sticks with CHILD labor shame fab: Zero-tolerance means 30% less trade

Samsung will do 30 per cent less business with a Chinese parts maker reportedly caught with underage workers at its factory – despite the supplier’s promises to comply with labour laws in future. The South Korean chaebol suspended business with Dongguan Shinyang Electronics, a subsidiary of Shinyang Engineering, when US charity …
management regulation2

LinkedIn settles missed overtime pay case: Will pay $6m to staffers

LinkedIn has agreed to pay around $6m in unpaid overtime wages and damages to 359 of its employees in four states after a US Department of Labor investigation. The government agency found that the business networking firm had failed to record and account for all the hours their staff worked in a week, leaving some staff out of …
BlackBerry Passport

BlackBerry boss John Chen: We're FINISHED (with the job cuts)

BlackBerry has finished its long and painful restructuring process – and is even considering adding new employees. That's according to a leaked staff memo apparently sent by BlackBerry chief exec John Chen. In the file, he wrote that the process of laying off workers, which started three years ago, has now come to an end: "We …

China: Microsoft, don't shy away from our probe

China's antitrust regulator has confirmed it met Microsoft's lawyers over its investigation into the US firm, warning it to abide by Chinese law and not to interfere with the probe. China's State Administration for Industry and Commerce said in a statement (translated by Google) that it had spoken with deputy general counsel …
Internet of Things

It's WAR: Internet of Stuff firms butt heads over talking-fridge tech standards

Intel’s Internet of Stuff standards-seeking group is planning to have a first code drop of middleware ready for developers in the third quarter this year, the firm told The Register. Smart home Gary Martz, Chipzilla's wireless product line manager, said that between members like Intel, Broadcom, Samsung, Dell and Atmel, the …
Great Wall of China

China: Our approved vendor list – Kaspersky, Symantec AREN'T on it

Security firms Kaspersky Labs and Symantec appear to have both been booted off China’s list of approved vendors for government agencies. This development comes as the country continues to tighten up against foreign tech firms in the wake of the NSA surveillance revelations. The People’s Daily reported first in a tweet that the …
Slow downloads

Brits STUNG for up to £625 when they try to cancel broadband

Thousands of Brits are being slapped with costly cancellation fees worth hundreds of pounds when they try to switch broadband providers, the Citizens Advice charity has warned. The group found that the average cost of extricating oneself from a rubbish broadband deal was £190, but customers had been handed out fees of up to £625 …
From left to right are: the ancestral neotheropod (~220 Million years old), the ancestral tetanuran (~200 myo), the ancestral coelurosaur (~175 myo), the ancestral paravian (~165 myo), and Archaeopteryx (150 myo).

The Therapod diet: From HUMUNGO DINO to TINY BIRD in 50m years

Terrifying dino-beasts from the family that spawned Tyrannosaurus rex kept shrinking and shrinking until they evolved into cute little birds, the whole process taking around 50 million years, according to palaeoboffins. Youtube Video Certain members of the theropod family – which counts T rex and Giganotosaurus carolinii among …

'Guess what: If you use the internet, you’re the subject of experiments'

This was the week when Christian Rudder, co-founder of dating site OKCupid, told the whole world what idiots they were for not realising that everyone on the internet is messing with their minds. In a blog post addressing his customers and the wider interwebs world, Rudder said: We noticed recently that people didn’t like it …
Monster Beats Pro

Dr Dre's crew gets Beats-down from Apple: 200 jobs to go – report

Apple is planning to axe around 200 people from its new acquisition Beats Electronics, according to reports. Both Bloomberg and 9to5 Mac had folks whispering in their ears that the fruity firm would be making the job cuts now that its $3bn slurp of the headphones and music streaming biz was well underway. The deal was recently …
Nokia Lumia 610

Microsoft adds wireless industry legend John Stanton to its board

Microsoft has added some mobile expertise to its board of directors, signing up wireless pioneer John Stanton, the former chairman of broadband firm Clearwire. Redmond chief Satya Nadella made it clear in his chat about the firm’s full year results earlier this month that Microsoft wants to be “mobile first, cloud first” under …
Cortana China

Microsoft's Brit kid Cortana lands on UK WinPhone 8.1, but China's is the real cutie

Microsoft will be fine-tuning its virtual assistant Cortana in its first update to Windows Phone 8.1. The Siri rival is predicted to arrive on UK users' smartphones over the next few months. The preview pack for developers is already out, of course. Youtube Video Cortana will be coming to folks in Blighty and China as a beta …

British Lords: Euro 'right to be forgotten' ruling 'unreasonable and unworkable'

Peers sitting in the upper house of the British parliament have branded Europe’s court decision on killing links on search indexes – controversially dubbed the “right to be forgotten” ruling – “unworkable, unreasonable and wrong in principle”. The EU subcommittee on Home Affairs, Health and Education said in a report that the …