Paul Kunert is the editor of Channel Register
Oracle pumps out Q4 financials in premature release: See? We're OK
Oracle rushed through the public filing of decent Q4 financials last night some three days earlier than planned to head off any industry talk that the pending exit of a sales bigwig was due to tumbling turnover.
The word on the street, well at least on Murdoch's Wall St rag Barron's, is that 26-year Oracle veteran, exec veep of …
Unilever cutting tech bods, moving jobs to Bangalore: 800 face axe
Unilever is entering into a redundancy consultation process with techies amid plans to relocate the UK tech hub from Ewloe in Wales to its head office in Merseyside and outsource "some" roles to India, although it would not confirm how many. Around 800 staff will face the chop by 2013.
The move is part of a wider cost-cutting …
'Europe two years late' to the US cloud party
Cloud adoption in Europe will lag the US by a minimum of two years due to concerns over data privacy, security and regulations.
Or so says abacus-stroker Gartner, which reckons that the eurozone's economic meltdown won't help either.
"The opportunities for cloud computing value are valid all over the world, and the same is true …
HP confirms Hunter to head up PC-and-printer borg
HP UK and Ireland PC boss Paul Hunter is the new chief of the merging Personal Systems and Imaging and Printing Groups.
An HP spokesman confirmed the move to The Register but added: "There is no further comment to make at this time".
The next role for Imaging and Printing Group (IPG) UK vice president Norman Richardson has yet …
SAP still not a force in cloud after sales cash drizzle
German software maker SAP AG is facing an uphill battle to become a force in the cloud market after revealing subscription-based sales amounted to just €29m (£23.7m) in Q1.
This represents year-on-year growth of 625 per cent on the opening three months of 2011 but that's clearly from a minuscule base.
Total revenues were up …
Capita job cuts, offshoring 'driven by expectations', says MD
Capita IT Services (CITS) boss Mark Quartermaine told staff the rapid expansion of the group through acquisition and more recently a slow down in sales led to the redundancy programme.
As exclusively revealed by The Register, the public sector IT supplier informed 1,000 staff - more than 26 per cent of its total workforce - that …
Dell blows Clouds of love into the channel
Dell is belatedly lifting the covers off a cloud services and solutions certification track for channel partners from mid-April.
The scheme has three strands: Cloud Builder slanted for firms that design and develop a cloud infrastructure; Cloud Providers that sell IaaS, PaaS or Saas; and Cloud Service Enablers that broker or …
Asus: We are NOT killing off Transformer Prime
Asus has not placed the Eee Pad Transformer Prime on the scrap-heap just yet, but availability has been so poor that channel folk can be forgiven for thinking it had been killed off, the vendor has admitted.
Typically, non-iPad vendors have struggled to create the same level of hype around their tablets that Apple has mastered …
HP culls nearly half remaining webOS team
Hewlett-Packard continues to dismantle its webOS engineering team by handing nearly half of the remaining 600 techies their pink slips.
The cuts began in September when HP's axe fell on 525 webOS employees following the decision to shutter the hardware unit that designed the now defunct TouchPad and Pre3 devices.
Another 275 …
Cloud Store: Next wave of services due by April
G-Cloud bigwig Chris Chant has confirmed the second wave of Cloud Store services will go live in April and that public sector customers will finally be able to rate suppliers, helping to shore up the flaky accreditation process.
The Cloud Store has come in for a fair share of criticism – as well as applause – after its speedy …
Whitman says HP turnaround will not happen overnight
Five months into the role as HP CEO, Meg Whitman is finally detailing the tech titan's turnaround plan that involves "fixing execution" and cutting costs to save cash before it ups investments in R&D.
In a tough fiscal first quarter, HP ironically saw an upturn in the software and to a much lesser extent the services businesses …
Six cuffed in £1m student readies phishing probe
Scotland Yard's cybercrime crackdown squad has cuffed suspected crims accused of masterminding a phishing scam that netted more than £1m in cash from hundreds of unsuspecting students.
The Met's Police Central e-Crime Unit (PCeU) began an investigation in August after a tip-off that students signed up to a government loan scheme …
Small biz owners plan for stingy Xmas celebrations
More than half of small biz owners are cancelling Christmas – well the annual festive lunch to be specific – as cash is in short supply.
This is according to research by the Forum of Private Business, which states a new wave of Scrooges have emerged in the current climate who are unwilling to shower staff with cheap wine and …
TomTom axes 10% of workforce
Sat-nav maker TomTom is axing 10 per cent of the workforce and reorganising the R&D budget to speed up the time it takes to get products to market.
The move is part of a restructuring programme designed to slash costs by some €50m and counter a 23 per cent slowdown in consumer sales reported in Q3.
"We will reduce the number of …
ASA upholds customer complaint against eBuyer
The Advertising Standards Agency has rapped eBuyer over a Wi-Fi internet radio promo that it concluded misled consumers.
The watchdog received a complaint claiming eBuyer was trying to create a favourable impression of the Foehn & Hirsch product by selecting 17 positive reviews and displaying them next to a four-and-a-half out …
Demon Currys iPad showered kids with HARD-CORE smut
Dixons Retail has issued a grovelling apology after a demon fondleslab possessed with porn beamed smut directly into the eyes of children at a Currys store in Surrey.
According to a report in the Surrey Comet, a distressed mother, who asked to remain nameless, said her three children were confronted with the filth on entering …
Nokia Siemens Networks chucks 17,000 people overboard
Ailing telco kit manufacturer Nokia Siemens Networks (NSN) is to slash 17,000 jobs worldwide by the end of 2013 as it eyes up an IPO.
This equates to a 23 per cent drop in the workforce which along with rationalisation of real estate, targeted budget cuts in IT, product and service procurement and admin costs are expected to …
HP welcomes activist investor onto board
HP has found a seat on the board for activist stakeholder Ralph Whitworth, co-founder at Relational Investors which should buy his silence - in public at least - for a couple of years while CEO Meg Whitman steadies the ship.
Relational bought 17.3 million HP shares or 0.9 per cent of the total stock in August following Apotheker …
Update knackers hundreds of Zendesk helpdesks
The boss at cloud-based online helpdesk software provider Zendesk has apologised for a brief outage last night that suspended 360 client accounts.
The firm, which counts big names including Adobe, Sony, Xerox, Groupon, Dropbox and Rackspace among its customers, experienced unexpected downtime for forty minutes from 22.15 GMT. …
'Hands free' pissing contest games installed in boozer
Drunks can now piss away hours playing games while at the urinals after the gents at The Exhibit Bar in south London was kitted out with a hands-free gaming cistern system.
Confident men can test out their skills on one of three games including the quiz game Clever Dick by adjusting their stream to the left or right section of …
iPhone baby clothes shop mauled by Apple
Not content with firing patent suits at tech rivals, Apple's lawyers have forced a baby clothes retailer to halt sales of items styled on the iPod and iPhone user interfaces and icons.
The US giant is fiercely protective of its brand image, having spent millions of dollars on marketing its kit to shiny loving IT professionals …
OFFICIAL: Last Western Black rhino snuffs it
The last of the Western Black rhino (Diceros bicornis longipes), a rare species of black rhino, has died and the survival of the northern white configuration hangs in the balance, according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN).
The revelation was made as part of the IUCN's Red List, which it claims is a " …
OMG - It's raining raw fish in tasty little packages
Fast fishy food chain YO Sushi! plans to buy servers no more as it heads into the cloud, according to IT manager Billy Waters.
A much needed infrastructure refresh was looming for the firm which carves up raw fish and serves it on conveyer belts for punters, as it was using Microsoft Exchange, Office and other apps on seven year …
Watchdog urged to probe Microsoft's cloud claims... again
The Advertising Standards Authority has been asked to reopen an investigation into Microsoft's boasts of 99.9 per cent uptime for its cloud services.
The plea follows complaints that the ad watchdog did not properly tackle Redmond the first time round.
As revealed a while back, the ASA was asked by a Microsoft customer to probe …
All change at top of HP storage biz
HP is trying to find an heir to its StorageWorks division (SD) in the UK and Ireland following an internal move from boss man Richard Masterson to become sales director of global accounts.
In the interim, Warren Duke – HP storage sales manager for the top accounts – has assumed the SD country manager role "whilst we finalise the …
BlackBerry nicks iPhone's UK smartphone crown
Smartphone sales went backwards in the UK during Q3 as customers abandoned Nokia and Apple. The figures don't look good when compared to last year's storming sales, and it's clear shoppers held off buying new gear during the build up to the latest iPhone launch.
According statistics from abacus fondlers Canalys, shipments …
Motorola Mobility to sack 800 ahead of Google gobble
Motorola Mobility Holdings is firing some 800 staff ahead of being swallowed by search engine supertanker Google.
The $12.5bn bid for the maker of mobile phones and set-top devices was tabled by Google in August and the deal is expected to close by the end of this year or early next – subject to shareholder and regulatory …
Price-slashing fails to ignite PlayBook sales
RIM's little-loved fondleslab is failing to get the tills ringing, even after significant price cuts, channel partners have claimed.
BlackBerry PlayBook prices were cut by $200 in the US last month as retailers cried out for something extra to help shift mountain mounting stock levels estimated at some half a million units …
Cisco chief's package shrinks 65 per cent
Cisco chief John Chambers' total direct remuneration package slumped 65 per cent in fiscal 2011 to a mere $6.625m (£4.14m), according to an SEC filing.
Clearly the time has come for the Chambers' household to switch to the value range in supermarkets, holiday at home and downgrade the family fleet of cars.
The long-serving exec …
RM chief exec Sweeney steps down
RM chief Terry Sweeney is stepping down amid a company-wide restructure after 13 years of service at the education supplier.
The LSE-listed firm is flogging parts of the operation, with the trade and assets of US arm Computrac – a classroom products biz – to be offloaded to Troxell Communications for £3m.
The remaining software …
Acer UK boss Watkins quits
Acer UK boss Bobby Watkins has quit after a string of disastrous quarters in which the firm's sales collapsed, The Register can reveal.
It is understood that Acer veteran Neil Marshall, currently director of global sales and marketing transformation, will be picking up the reins.
Channel sources reckon that Watkins resigned as …
Smartphone black market fuels knife robberies
The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) reckons demand for smartphones on the black market has in part fuelled a rise in knife robberies.
According to a study of crime reports in the UK, police forces in England and Wales recorded nearly 15,000 robberies at knifepoint in the year to June, up 7 per cent on the previous …
WD: Thai flooding should speed EU decision on Hitachi
WD believes the flooding in Thailand puts greater impetus on the European Competition Commission to green-light its proposed acquisition of Hitachi Global Storage Technologies.
The acquisition of Samsung's HDD biz by Seagate was cleared by competition regulators this week as they were notified of the deal by the vendor a day …
WD: Thai floods will force hard drive prices up
WD has warned disk drive shortages will linger well into 2012 and price rises are inevitable as it deals with the aftermath of the severe flooding in Thailand.
The country's worst floods in over half a century have so far claimed the lives of at least 317 people, affected more than nine million, and inundated 700,000 homes: 14, …
Apotheker right hand man Wohl exits HP
HP's short lived chief communication officer Bill Wohl - a close ally of blundering former CEO Leo Apotheker - has confirmed that he has followed his buddy out of the business.
The man, who was on hand to advise Leo on the masterful handling of the PSG saga, and the TouchPad and WebOS announcement in August, revealed on Twitter …
Lenovo aims to seize PC crown within 3 years
Lenovo is aiming to become the biggest shifter of PC tin on the planet within three years after recently swiping the number two spot from Dell.
The once sleeping dragon is clearly wide awake – Lenovo outpaced worldwide market growth for the last eight consecutive quarters – and in a bullish mood.
"We should be able to overtake …
Gartner predicts global double-dip recession
Analysts at Gartner are prophesying a global double-dip recession that will test the mettle of corporate CIOs and squeeze budgets, but predict that businesses will continue to invest in IT.
"The second recession is about to hit," Peter Sondergaard, senior veep for research at Gartner told an audience of around 8,500 industry …
WD: Thailand floods worse than feared
WD is expecting flooding in Thailand to "significantly impact" disk drive availability this quarter after the situation deteriorated.
The HDD giant last week confirmed that facilities close to Bangkok were closed as it dealt with the natural disaster. Rival Seagate is also evaluating the extent of the damage on sub assembly …
Sesame Street YouTube page hijacked by smut pushers
Deviant hackers broke into the Sesame Street channel on YouTube on Sunday to replace child-friendly movies of fluffy puppets with hardcore porn.
Click to, er, enlarge
The filthy flicks were only available for about 20 minutes before YouTube realised the error – that Kermit and Miss Piggy had not finally taken their …
Thai floods threaten Seagate hard drive supply chain
Seagate is assessing the potential impact of flooding in Thailand on the production of hard disks that forced arch rival WD to temporarily halt manufacturing this week.
Severe flooding has reportedly killed at least 280 people, inundated homes, disrupted transport links and caused chaos at utilities close to WD's facility, which …
ISPs end PM's web smut block dream
The big four ISPs – BT, Sky, TalkTalk and Virgin Media – have scoffed at suggestions that Brit web surfers could be forced to 'opt in' to view online grumble flicks.
The proposed censorship, backed by Prime Minister David Cameron, was understood to be part of a government-supported effort to shelter children from pornography, …
NHS IT spending: The winners and losers
The pot of dosh dished out by NHS Connecting for Health to IT suppliers evaporated in fiscal 2011. Integration giants were the biggest losers as resellers gained ground.
A Freedom of Information request by The Guardian revealed that spending by CfH – the delivery arm of the DfH's Informatics Directory – fell around 35 per cent …
Smut oglers told to opt in to keep web filth flowing
Grubby smut gazers will be forced to "opt in" to view porn under government-backed restrictions to be imposed on ISPs.
PM David Cameron will propose a raft of measures today at a Downing Street meeting with Christian charity group Mothers' Union. The restrictions are designed to protect children from sexualised content.
A …
Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store
Grieving Apple Store staff arrived to work this morning to find their Covent Garden shop had been plundered overnight by a biker gang.
Two men are being questioned by coppers after the "smash and grab" raid at 1am today, just days after the death of billionaire Apple baron Steve Jobs.
Coppers were alerted after a gang of around …
Furious HP staff stage protest over job cuts
HP staff downed tools at the SIMO Network 2011 conference in Spain this week to protest against job cuts.
hp_stop_layoffs_protesters If you're HP and you know it, wash your hands...
An El Reg contact kindly took a photo as disgruntled workers took to the HP stand on 5 October only to lie down clasping placards urging their …
HP anoints Mayer in global networks boss role
HP has confirmed that Bethany Mayer - caretaker of its global networking biz for the last four months - will get the job on a permanent basis.
Former Mirapoint and Blue Coat exec Mayer arrived at HP in March 2010 as veep for marketing and alliances in the Enterprise Server, Storage and Networking (ESSN) division but got the …
Lumison swallows DediPower Managed Hosting
Lumison has snapped up Reading-based cloud and co-lo player DediPower Managed Hosting for an undisclosed sum.
This is the second deal this year for private equity backed, managed services provider Lumison, run by former Computacenter director Mark Howling, after forking out £22m for data centre co-location outfit Blue Square …
HP finally swallows Autonomy
HP has finally concluded the $10.24bn acquisition of Cambridge-based enterprise search and BI software firm Autonomy.
The £25.50-per-share offer was given the green light by 87 per cent of Autonomy's shareholders last night - a whopping 79 per cent premium on the stock price on 18 August when HP first lodged the bid.
Reaching …
Cisco veep slags off HP's PC biz wobble
Cisco quietly sat on the sidelines during the summer as a series of gaffes by a hapless senior executive team forced down HP's share price by a fifth.
But the networking kingpin has found its voice again to predict that hitting the Personal Systems Group eject button will damage HP and its partners' bottom line and lead to price …
HP networking boss leaves after less than a year
HP UK and Ireland networking boss Barry Bonnett is leaving the role after less than a year in charge, The Register can reveal.
Formerly an exec at BT Media and Broadcast, Nortel and Stejac, Bonnett succeeded Daryl Brick – currently area partner director at Juniper Networks – in November 2010.
Industry sources familiar with the …
