Paul Kunert

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Paul Kunert is the editor of Channel Register
4 arrows signs in arrow on wooden wall

Booked that expensive holiday yet Mr Server Maker? Maybe just a day trip for now

The EMEA server market is on fire, but not in a good way – both shipments and factory revenues declined in Q2 amid the currency issue and uncertain business climate. Unit sales dropped 5.6 per cent year-on-year to 523,800 servers, and the money coughed for them dipped 2.3 per cent to $3.1bn, abacus fondlers at Gartner have …
Paul Kunert, 26 Aug 2015
Terminator

Prognosticator, for one, welcomes our new robot work colleagues

On a scale of one to ten on The Reg’s own fear-o-meter, concerns about a future in which humans are mere canon fodder - or even worse - sources of nutrients for robots overlords rank pretty highly, but there’s nothing to be scared about people. It’ll all be fine. How do we know this? The folks at Forrester Research say so and …
Paul Kunert, 25 Aug 2015

Lenovo exec: Yes we can get IBM's server biz out of the crapper

Interview Lenovo Europe president Eric Cador is banking on a major overhaul of its enterprise supply chain – among other things – to help the x86 business it acquired from IBM “recover” lost ground. In the UK alone, IBM’s revenue share slumped to $31m by Q4 ’14 from $61m in the prior year’s quarter, caused by the uncertainty surrounding …
Paul Kunert, 24 Aug 2015
Toilet

Suffering a comms blackout in the loo? Now you don't have to

Ever wanted to shoot the shit with “friends and strangers” while on the bog? Fear not because the Pooductive app has emerged that allows you to do just that, AND it’s free. The realtime messaging service allows users to make contact with like minded individuals in other countries or those in your own that are within a 250 to …
Paul Kunert, 23 Aug 2015
Empty phone battery

Brit hydro fuel cell maker: our tech charges iPhone 6 for a week

Brit-based hydrogen fuel cell maker Intelligent Energy (IE) reckons it has developed an iPhone that can run for a week after one charge of the battery - which might just help massage the loss-making firm’s bottom line. The Loughborough-based business has produced a working prototype of Apple’s sixth generation smartmobe …
Paul Kunert, 23 Aug 2015

Auto erotica bonk shocker: ja das ist gut, say 56% of Germans

For some the car is a functional thing that gets them from A to B, for speed demons getting behind the wheel is like a drug, but for many folk in Germany going for a ride has an entirely different meaning. According to the mother of all silly polls, 56 per cent of our Saxon cousins have admitting to bonking in their vehicles …
Paul Kunert, 22 Aug 2015

Ashley Madison hack – Tory MP Green denies registering account

Ex-Tory bigwig Damian Green has got caught up in the hack of AshleyMadison.com after it emerged a private email address seemingly linked to him was found on the site for love rats. The former Minister for Police and Criminal Justice has denied ever using the website, and said he could not remember if the aol.com address used …
Paul Kunert, 22 Aug 2015
Crystal ball via http://www.manoftaste.de/

Hype Circle 2015: Gartner stares groggily into crystal ball

Smart Dust is entering the Innovation Trigger, Micro Data Centres are nearing the Peak of Inflated Expectations and virtual reality has escaped the Trough of Disillusionment en route to the Slope of Enlightenment. Yes folks, it can mean only thing: Gartner has been hitting the psychotropic drugs again has cast its collective …
Paul Kunert, 19 Aug 2015

Intel workforce diversity report throws up a bunch of 'unknowns'

In the pursuit of transparency, Intel has released a breakdown of its staffers, including new hires – revealing that it doesn't seem to know all of its employees' sex or race. Chipzilla’s mid-year US workforce data report revealed the firm is making progress toward diversification. 43 per cent of newbies were women or non- …
Paul Kunert, 13 Aug 2015
Titanic sinking

HP arranges boardroom deck chairs as The Big Split looms

HP has confirmed the captains of industry who will sit on the two boards formed when the organization splits in two. The IT giant will pull in execs from sectors ranging from automotive and clothing to private equity. The organization operationally splits this month. By 1 November, HP will legally separate to become HP Inc ( …
Paul Kunert, 12 Aug 2015

Outsourcing tanker CSC sales growth torpedoed

Leaky outsourcing tanker CSC saw sales growth drift off on the horizon for yet another quarter – the first of its fiscal 2016 – but the services slinger is back in the black, without the help of tax benefits. The fact CSC slashed costs and expenses by nearly half a billion dollars had nothing to do with bottom line beefiness, …
Paul Kunert, 12 Aug 2015
Green light

Colt shareholders grab Fidelity offer, declare 'we're outta here'

Reluctant telco Colt is edging closer to private ownership again, after a bunch of shareholders approved a 190-pence-per-share offer from private equity firm Fidelity to flee the loss-making biz. Fidelity was already a majority share owner in Colt when it approached the LSE-listed cloud wannabe in June, with a bid that values …
Paul Kunert, 12 Aug 2015
4 arrows signs in arrow on wooden wall

Sales up, profit up, but no champagne corks popping at Rackspace

The gods of tech sales finally smiled on Rackspace in calendar Q2 of 2015. But the biz isn't celebrating just yet, because it's public cloud arm is stuck in first gear. The cloud server-hosting biz reported an 11 per cent year-on-year growth in turnover to $489.4m (£314.2m) in the three months ended 30 June. Total costs and …
Paul Kunert, 11 Aug 2015
Landfill. Pic: Bill McChesney

And so it begins... Cleaning up HMRC's £10.7bn Aspire mess

HMRC is to follow the lead set by the Met Police by setting up a private company to run elements of the tech estate that currently fall under the scope of the failing multi-billion pound Aspire contract. This is the first step HMRC is taking to replace Aspire – the largest single tech contract in UK public sector, which it is …
Paul Kunert, 05 Aug 2015

Systemax bleeds $28m while its shares bounce off the floor

With the store closure programme Stateside, the axe falling on EMEA boss Pim Dale, and the industry-wide currency crisis, portents of doom hung over Systemax’s Q2 numbers. And so it has come to pass – the once mighty tech reseller last night reported another quarter of double digit sales declines and widening losses. Turnover …
Paul Kunert, 05 Aug 2015
A daisy

Daisy Group’s Riley: Integration of £200m + acquired beast starts today

Management at Daisy Group today start the mammoth task of integrating Phoenix IT Group, and getting the respective sales staff to cross-sell following yesterday’s purchase completion. The acquisition of tech services outfit Phoenix is the 48th acquisition Daisy has made since it was founded by chairman Matthew Riley in 2001, …
Paul Kunert, 17 Jul 2015
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Police, firefighters, ambulances, hospitals: 20 per cent still rely on Win Server 2003

Exclusive One in every five public-sector health and emergency services organisations in the UK will still be running Windows Server 2003 after Microsoft ends extended support today. A Reg investigation of 33 hospitals, ambulance trusts, police and fire and rescue services found that many are still running Windows Server 2003 on a lot …
Crapita logo

Capita: Call centre workers, can you fall on your swords? Please?

The kind souls at Capita are placing hundreds of workers at risk of redundancy at call centres across the UK that service O2 clients, according to documents seen by The Channel. The work was outsourced to Capita back in 2013, the contract is valued at £1.2bn over ten years and is the biggest of its kind. The Communications …
Paul Kunert, 25 Jun 2015
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Ingram Micro feasts on European old-mobe specialists

First Ingram Micro dug deep to acquire handset seller Brightpoint and now it is buying up companies to deal with the devices in middle age and at the end of their life. The tech wholesaler has subsumed CANAI Group, which specialises in trade-ins, reuse, recycling and global redistribution. High Wycombe-based CANAI runs a …
Paul Kunert, 23 Jun 2015
£10 notes. Pic: Howard Lake

Attenda for sale this year? Not on your nelly, says CEO

App hosting and co-lo slinger Attenda was expected to be put up for sale by owner Darwin Private Equity later this year, but postponed the process, and it’s latest financials perhaps explain why. The venture capitalist backed an MBO of Staines-based Attenda in 2011 for £50m and multiple sources told us in May that it had eyed up …
Paul Kunert, 19 Jun 2015
hand with thumb up

Arkansas Kum & Go onanist did just that

Arkansas state cops are trying to press the flesh with a local who took things slightly too literally when he opted for a five-knuckle shuffle outside a Kum & Go convenience store ... and then legged it without even leaving a phone number. Springdale Police Department put a call out on Facebook for anyone that can identify the …
Paul Kunert, 19 Jun 2015

Using leather in 'leccy cars is 'unTesla', rages vegan shareholder

Electric car maker Tesla needs to turn vegan by dropping leather upholstered interiors or play its part in the destruction of the Earth, according to some of its shareholders. Talking at yesterday’s AGM, Mark Peters and his vegan wife Elizabeth Farrell Peters – both Tesla fans who took a financial punt on the government- …
Paul Kunert, 10 Jun 2015

Soon your car won't let you drink. But it won't care if you're on the phone

Drink drivers jumping behind the wheel of a car after a boozy session at the pub might just find they are going nowhere fast, if alcohol sensor technology finally comes into play. Which it might at some point. Breath and touch-based sensors, to be used in cars to detect the amount of alcohol in the blood, are currently being …
Paul Kunert, 07 Jun 2015
Broke - empty pockets

Apple preps summer bonking bonanza for Brits

People of Blighty rejoice for you will soon be able to bonk with Apple - the contactless mobile payment service is reportedly landing this summer, or to be a little more precise in two months time. The launch of Apple Pay is expected to be touted about at this year’s worldwide developer knees up on Monday, or so says The …
Paul Kunert, 07 Jun 2015
Graph of US dollar going up CC 2.0 https://www.flickr.com/photos/68751915@N05/ 401kcalculator.org.

Surging dollar value brightens Tech Data’s European revenues

The unfavourable forex rate leaving US vendors with a damp patch on their financial results in Europe ironically might have helped Tech Data in its opening quarter of fiscal 2016. The world’s second largest tech distie reported sales of $5.8bn for Q1 ended 30 April, down 12 per cent year-on-year, but better than Wall Street …
Paul Kunert, 29 May 2015
HP Logo splitting in two

HP: you know we said we were done with cost cutting...

Just when the folk at HP Enterprise Services thought the multi-year cost cutting timetable was almost at an end, along comes another plan to lop $2bn off the expenses bill. The division reported a 16 per cent drop in turnover to $4.81bn in HP’s second quarter of fiscal ’15 ended 30 April, although profit before tax went up 31 …
Paul Kunert, 24 May 2015
Files in manager's desk drawers: manila folder marked "Redundancies". Image via shutterstock

BlackBerry: We ARE cutting jobs AGAIN

Blackberry is to axe workers across its loss-making hardware division to lighten overheads, the ailing Canadian smartphone maker has confirmed. The company temporarily broke into the black during Q4 of fiscal ’15 ended February, but this short run of fortune couldn’t mask the wider malaise and yet another year of losses. CEO …
Paul Kunert, 24 May 2015

£300m education tech framework is LIVE

Crown Commercial Services has rung the bell on the mega ICT for Education framework, with 21 suppliers passing the entrance exam, one more than was originally planned for. The four-year agreement was first tendered last October and the roll out was delayed by a couple of weeks due to the high number of responses from candidates …
Paul Kunert, 22 May 2015

Salesforce: Profit pah! We’ll be back in the red before you know it

Software service slinger Salesforce.com banked its first operating profit in 18 quarters — yes, you read that correctly — but reassuringly confirmed it will be back in the red again in the next trading period. The cloudy-based CRM and marketing apps maker reported sales of $1.51bn for the three months ended 30 April, up 23 per …
Paul Kunert, 21 May 2015

Stateside security screeners sacked for squeezing 'sexy' sacks

Two security strokers screeners at Denver airport got the boot after investigators were tipped off about gratuitous groin groping of certain male travellers, a police report reveals. The Office of Inspection of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) were informed of the pair’s pervy prowess and did a little probing of …
Paul Kunert, 16 Apr 2015

Hortonworks to gobble Budapest-based SequenceIQ

Hortonworks decided it needed an automated tool to launch Hadoop clusters in the cloud, or any environment supporting Docker containers, and one buy of SequenceIQ later, ’tis done. The loss-making slinger of enterprise Apache Hadoop is to consume the Budapest-based open source developer of rapid deployment tools, for an …
Paul Kunert, 14 Apr 2015

Lenovo: MSPs and CSPs, PLEASE come buy our servers

Chinese PC ruler Lenovo has arrived at the cloud and managed services provider party relatively late, with a sales programme tucked under its arm and an expanded x86 server portfolio brochure in hand. The biggest purveyors of the fluffy white stuff already have their designs custom built by ODMs in the Far East - a point not …
Paul Kunert, 10 Apr 2015
Tim Cook as Mr T

Tim Cook: I'll give just a THIRD of what Gates gave to charity last year

Apple CEO Tim Cook has confirmed he is to hand over his relatively measly fortune to charity for the betterment of the planet – once he’s paid off his nephew’s college bill. This is not some sort of publicity stunt to reinforce Apple’s image as a benevolent tech designer. Scurrilous hacks at lesser publications might suggest …
Paul Kunert, 27 Mar 2015

Redundo-happy IBMers will benefit from High Court pension ruling

IBMers that take voluntary redundancy ahead of a High Court ruling on the firm’s pension scheme will still benefit from any remedies set out should they leave, according to an internal document. Staffers who were refused salary increases because they railed against changes to pensions were told they are able to claim damages in …
Paul Kunert, 16 Mar 2015
g_cloud_uk_gov

HP's ailing Enterprises Service unit bags 'mega' TNT gig

HP’s sickly Enterprise Services (ES) unit continues to show signs of recovery after putting pen to paper on a “mega” six-year managed services deal with Dutch logistics biz TNT. The project, believed to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars, follows hot on the heels of a decade long outsourcing agreement with Deutsche Bank, …
Paul Kunert, 16 Mar 2015
Files in manager's desk drawers: manila folder marked "Redundancies". Image via shutterstock

IBM staffers climb over each other in race for redundancy payout

IBMers working in the Systems Middleware (SM) division are falling over themselves to volunteer for redundancy, with the programme heavily oversubscribed. Some 110 people want to leave the company with a big fat cheque, which is way more than the ten per cent of the division’s 736-strong workforce that IBM had in mind. The …
Paul Kunert, 13 Mar 2015
Scary Skeleton Samba

Pull on your dancing shoes, the server market's ALLLLIVE

It looks like execs behind the biggest server-makers can dust off those dancing boots and get jiggy with it again – the market is expanding in both box shipments and the value of them. The second half of last year proved to be a turning point for what had become a shrinking sector, with Gartner reporting prelim numbers showing …
Paul Kunert, 03 Mar 2015

Insight: Have you heard about Windows Server 2003 support?

As organisations using Windows Server 2003 march - perhaps with ill-found confidence - toward the expiry date for Microsoft support, Insight Enterprises has scare stories galore warnings for them. The software licence and box slinger reckons it has identified five “key problems” that will give sysadmins sleepless nights and …
Paul Kunert, 02 Mar 2015

Tulsa woman bludgeons man mercilessly with laptop

This is not a good way to come out of deep sleep. A US man was awoken from his drunken stupor by the pain of his girlfriend sinking her fangs into his gentleman’s sausage and bludgeoning him with her laptop. The incident took place in Tulsa, Oklahoma on 19 February, following a boozy session and subsequent argument between Amber …
Paul Kunert, 02 Mar 2015

BP: Oil prices crashed, so must our ICT budget

BP has confirmed it is looking to squeeze costs from its annual ICT budget on the back of crashing oil prices, and well-placed sources tell us the business wants to identify $300m in savings. It’s been a tough couple of years for the over-enthusiastic oil seeker and distributor, what with the crisis in Gulf of Mexico and more …
Paul Kunert, 27 Feb 2015
Columns of coins in the cloud

Deutsche Bank pens cloudy infrastructure deal with HP

Fat outsourcing contracts are relatively few and far between these days, so HP’s 10-year, multi-billion dollar global win with Deutsche Bank is a welcome shot in the arm for its declining Enterprise Services division. The deal was signed before Chrimbo – we asked HP for comment at the time but it refused to talk – but it went …
Paul Kunert, 24 Feb 2015
storm

Fears mount over future of hardware distributor Gamma Global

Concerns are mounting over the future of Gamma Global amid claims that top brass are reviewing strategic options after hitting a financial bump. Multiple sources told us suppliers are fearful of not getting paid should the worst case scenario materialise for the Manchester-based broker of HP, APC and Cisco kit. “They owe a lot …
Paul Kunert, 24 Feb 2015

HP Split: Naming the big dogs for new-look giant

Exclusive More pieces of HP’s management puzzle are being slotted into place at a country and regional level, ahead of the major split in the corporation planned for October. As world + dog knows, the PC and print businesses are to separate from the rest of the organisation to create HP Inc, with all other divisions falling under …
Paul Kunert, 18 Feb 2015
channel_teaser_exit

Wanted: PC salesman to head up HP's UK channel ops

Headhunters may be scrambling for their phones on the back of the news that HP is on the look-out for someone with PC sales skills to conduct its UK channel orchestra. A note was distributed to some HP workers this week that Damian Cusick is leaving the enterprise, SMB and channel director role, stating that he is looking for a …
Paul Kunert, 13 Feb 2015

GRUNTY CHIMPS 'blend in among locals' after moving to Scotland

Chimps imported to a Scottish zoo have learned to grunt like the locals, boffins have discovered, in a finding sure to wobble a few linguistic applecarts. Nine immigrant primates from a safari park in the Netherlands had been accustomed to using high pitched moans to call for apples, their favourite food, but all this changed …
Paul Kunert, 06 Feb 2015

Symantec sees profits crash ahead of corporate divorce

Symantec’s latest financials bear all the hallmarks of a business whose dramatic bisection is causing some uncertainty for customers and channel partners. A cleaver will be driven through the security and storage business by the end of this year to create two separate publicly traded entities. The groundwork for this is well …
Paul Kunert, 06 Feb 2015

Insight cloud guru snubs global job, walks over to Brit upstart

Ash Patel, the man who helped Insight Enterprises shape and lead its cloud strategy in Europe, has not only turned down a global services role at the firm but is now hot-footing it to rival Microsoft house Cobweb Solutions. Patel led UK cloud biz development from 2011 and was made EMEA head of the fluffy white stuff two years …
Paul Kunert, 04 Feb 2015

National Lottery website goes TITSUP again

The UK National Lottery website was down and out for the second time in days this morning, indicating further plumbing work was required following last weekend’s network wobble. The site first crashed early on Sunday for roughly 18 hours due to a technical glitch that lotto operator Camelot Business Solutions told us had been …
Paul Kunert, 03 Feb 2015

Arrow Electronics buys Computacenter tech disposal biz for £56m

It may be cold outside, but Computacenter (CC) investors have got a warm glow this morning – they are to receive a £100m windfall, partly financed by the sale of the tech disposal and asset recovery biz. The London-listed tech supplier last night revealed to the City the sale of RD Trading (RDC) for £56m in cash to the UK arm of …
Paul Kunert, 03 Feb 2015
IBM CEO Ginni Rometty

Tough at the top: IBM CEO Ginni Rometty troughs $10 MEELLION+

It may not be the best time to be one of the great unwashed at IBM but it certainly pays to be on the exec team, particularly if your name is Virginia Rometty. At a time when Big Blue is cutting its cloth according to the new era of cloud, mobility, social, analytics and security by chopping thousands of job, the CEO got a …
Paul Kunert, 02 Feb 2015