Paul Kunert

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Paul Kunert is the editor of Channel Register

Microsoft axes 2,850 more Windows Phone, sales staff – a week after Justin Timberlake sang on stage for them

Vid Microsoft is laying off a further 2,850 smartphone and sales staffers on top of the 1,850 workers it axed in May. The job cuts were revealed in paperwork filed on Thursday with US financial watchdog the SEC. The doomed staff will leave the business by the end of next June. They all work in Microsoft's sales teams and its …

Cats, dogs starve as web-connected chow chute PetNet plays dead

Humans have been forced to temporarily interact with their dogs or cats – perhaps both – after PetNet’s internet-controlled smart feeder system suffered a blackout. For $149, the company provides a web-enabled dog/cat feeder that is pre-programmed to dispense food stuffs at certain time and portion sizes. But PetNet warned …
Paul Kunert, 27 Jul 2016

Church organist nabbed for playing glory hole in excelsis

A church organist is due before the beak next month after he allegedly thrust his pink pipe through a glory hole in excelsis and “waited” for someone to make sweet music. 74-year-old Jerry Michael Childress is alleged to have entered the bog in a Brooksville, Florida-based park and, er, pulled out all the stops, a report by …
Paul Kunert, 27 Jul 2016
Man drinks Beer. Photo by shutterstock

Calling all hipster... *hic* hip-hip-storians! Craft beer job spotted

Had enough of tech? Sporting a big or any kind of unlikely looking beard or interestingly dyed hair? El Reg has found the perfect new job where you’ll get paid handsomely to espouse the wonders of trendy beer. The Smithsonian Food History project at the National Museum of American History is looking for a professional hipster …
Paul Kunert, 26 Jul 2016
Two fingers, photo via Shutterstock

EMC insiders say Salesforce has ordered $75m of its kit

EMC landed a punch on behalf of tech's old guard after it won a $75m deal to furnish Salesforce with shiny new on-premises storage hardware, sources have claimed. Salesforce last month took infrastructure services away from its cloud server staff and put them into the hands of AWS in a contract valued at $400m. But company …
Paul Kunert, 26 Jul 2016
Files in manager's desk drawers: manila folder marked "Redundancies". Image via shutterstock

Third time unlucky? HPE in redundancy talks with UK services staff

Hewlett Packard Enterprise has told UK and Ireland Enterprise Services (ES) staff they face the axe once again – in a third round of redundancies in less than a year. The company, which is offloading the division to CSC in the next financial year, is asking for volunteers this time unlike the previous compulsory job cuts. In …
Paul Kunert, 22 Jul 2016

Bosses at UK infosec biz Quadsys confess to hacking rival reseller

Five men working at UK-based IT security reseller Quadsys confessed today to hacking into a rival's database. Owner Paul Streeter, managing director Paul Cox, director Alistair Barnard, account manager Steve Davies and security consultant Jon Townsend appeared before the beak at Oxford Crown Court. "All pleaded guilty to …
Paul Kunert, 21 Jul 2016
Newsroom

Semiconductor $s to fall

Worldwide semiconductor spending is forecast to shrink by 0.7 per cent to $64.3bn, according to the data druids at Gartner. Economic instability, inventory excess, and crappy demand for PCs, tablets and mobile phones over the past three years have taken a toll on growth prospects. ® Newsroom
Paul Kunert, 21 Jul 2016
mergers and acquisitions

EMC staffers: We are crashing into Dell within weeks

Staffers at EMC and its subsidiaries are to get Dell email addresses from the start of next month as the proposed mega buy edges closer, insiders have told The Register. EMC shareholders last night approved the $62.4bn bid – somewhat lower than the original $67bn offer due to a slide in VMware’s share price – and Chinese anti- …
Paul Kunert, 20 Jul 2016
Pennies in a jar. Photo via Shutterstock

Three pence in a pound awaits Steljes' trade creditors

Unsecured creditors of audio visual distributor Steljes that are owed £6.72m by the fallen specialist will likely receive just three pence in the pound, according to the company’s administrator. Steljes collapsed in late May after cash flow dried up and directors were forced to call on AlixPartners, which decided the only …
Paul Kunert, 19 Jul 2016
Upset man in suit and drinking liquor. Photo by Shutterstock

One in five consumers upgraded to Win10 for free instead of buying a PC

Microsoft’s free upgrade of Windows 10 hit PC makers where it hurt though the extent of this was apparently a surprise to the software giant, data druids at Gartner have claimed. According to a survey by the holders of the Magic Quadrant, one in five consumers that upgraded to the free version of the OS decided they didn’t …
Paul Kunert, 15 Jul 2016
DJ at mixing deck. Photo by Shutterstock

IBM puts Global Tech Services staff at risk in 'skills remix'

A second round of UK redundancy consultations are set to kick off for IBMers working in the Global Business Services (GBS) division, company insiders have told us. Big Blue initiated numerous job-cutting programmes this year as it reacted to fewer big ticket outsourcing deals and the rise of cloud computing by sending more …
Paul Kunert, 13 Jul 2016
Hiring

Hewlett Packard Enterprise names acting big nob for UK biz

Hewlett Packard Enterprise has made Marc Waters acting managing director of the UK and Ireland as the process to recruit a permanent head begins. Former local chief Andy Isherwood was yesterday confirmed as the new EMEA overlord, replacing Peter Ryan, who is himself taking on a global role running sales for the Enterprise …
Paul Kunert, 12 Jul 2016

Hewlett Packard Enterprise shifts the deck chairs

A reshuffling of Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s management stack ahead of the split with its services division has seen UK boss Andy Isherwood made EMEA MD and the region’s Enterprise Group boss. Isherwood will replace long-serving exec Peter Ryan, who has taken control of the EG sales organisation globally including all …
Paul Kunert, 11 Jul 2016
Large leaver switch on a board of push button switches

Sage hires de Rojas

Accounting software biz Sage has hired industry veteran Jacqueline de Rojas as the boss of northern European ops. She is set to join from Citrix, which is facing its own problem since activists investor Elliot Management invested and grabbed a seat on the board. de Rojas is also president of TechUK. In a past life, the exec …
Paul Kunert, 06 Jul 2016
Brexit financial crash

Dell confirms price rise post Brexit vote as UK pound stumbles

Dell has blamed a Brexit-induced sterling meltdown for a double-digit price hike across its portfolio in the UK. As we revealed last week, the British pound has weakened to a 31-year low against the US dollar, making price rises inevitable. Today’s rate is 12.4 per cent lower than before the EU referendum. Channel partners …
Paul Kunert, 05 Jul 2016
The British Pound - Sterling currency tumbles post Brexit

Sterling's post-Brexit dollar woes are forcing up tech kit prices

Tech vendors don’t want to admit it but CIOs will need to return to their spending plan spreadsheets: hardware is going to get more expensive post-Brexit as sterling slides against the US dollar. The UK currency fell 12 per cent on 24 June when the outcome of the EU referendum emerged, and this week the pound plunged to a 31 …
Paul Kunert, 01 Jul 2016
recruitment_hired

Microsoft names Cindy Rose as first first lady of UK ops

The fires were lit and a chicken sacrificed at Microsoft’s Reading HQ campus today as new UK CEO Cindy Rose was sworn in* - the first female to run the business locally. Rose was poached from Vodafone where she was head of the consumer division. 1 July was her official start date though she won’t slip into the CEO hot seat for …
Paul Kunert, 01 Jul 2016

Seagate axing 1,600 staff amid PC sales slump

Seagate is flinging about three per cent of the workforce overboard to cut its cloth to match crappy PCs sales. The drive maker lodged a filing with the US Securities and Exchange Commission last night that stated a restructuring plan had been approved to “reduce its cost structure”. “The plan includes reducing the company’s …
Paul Kunert, 30 Jun 2016
Files in manager's desk drawers: manila folder marked "Redundancies". Image via shutterstock

Lloyds Banking Group puts 640 techies and backroom bods on chopping block

Lloyds Banking Group is to chop 640 jobs in IT and back office functions as it forges ahead with plans to reduce its branch network's real estate. Workers impacted by the planned redundancies are understood to be based in locations across the UK in London, Bristol, Manchester and Edinburgh. A PR man at the company confirmed …
Paul Kunert, 29 Jun 2016

Dixons, UK's fifth 'emergency service', brushes off Brexit scare stories

Dixon Carphone - which, god help us, wants to become the fifth emergency service in the UK - this morning played down the personal impact of market “volatility” that a post-Brexit vote will “inevitably” cause as it reported bumper profits for fiscal ’16. The retailer said like-for-like group sales edged up three per cent year- …
Paul Kunert, 29 Jun 2016
Bad tech buyers

This local council paid HOW MUCH for an SD card?!

An unnamed local council has entered the hall of shame for making the most eye-watering tech purchase of 2015 - coughing up a 1095 per cent margin on an SD memory card. This is according to the annual poll of 200 procurement heads from 24 industries by pricing bench markers KnowledgeBus, which found average margins paid had …
Paul Kunert, 29 Jun 2016

Hewlett Packard Enterprise CTO, CCO to call it a day

Martin Fink, the chief techie straddling Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s global Labs is quitting just as the prototype of his most ambitions project to date, The Machine, edges closer. In a blog note today, CEO Meg Whitman confirmed the CTO will be “retiring” at the end of the year after more than three decades at the company. “ …
Paul Kunert, 27 Jun 2016
shutterstock_293232899-British_airways

BA 'offers' IT bods extra leave, flexible working - unpaid of course

British Airways bosses were this week told to ask staff to "volunteer" to take unpaid leave, as the sorry cost cutting saga enveloping British Airways rumbled on. This includes all BA employees, not just the fleet of techies working at the company, and is in addition to redundancies already confirmed in the last month. “As we …
Paul Kunert, 27 Jun 2016
Secretary of State for the Home Department Theresa May. Photo by Twocoms/Shutterstock.com

Home Office ignores plight of BA techies as job offshoring looms

The Home Office has stonewalled the GMB trade union’s attempts to raise the plight of British Airways IT staff whose jobs are being sent to an Indian outsourcer – and the potential security implications involved. The GMB has written four letters to the Department’s Secretary Theresa May – seen by us – after BA hired Tata …
Paul Kunert, 24 Jun 2016