Paul Kunert

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Paul Kunert is the editor of Channel Register
Two beer glasses clash and splash frothy beer into the air. Cheers! Photo by Shutterstock

Man nicked trying to 'save' beer from burning building

A South Dakotan was cuffed after he repeatedly barged past police and firefighters that were trying to deal with a blaze in his apartment block so he could re-enter and rescue his most precious possession - beer. Michael Casteel was nicked on 27 March when he re-emerged from the property in Sioux Falls, clutching two cans of …
Paul Kunert, 25 Apr 2017
Road Closed sign

SAP Anywhere goes nowhere, reaches commercial cul-de-sac

SAP Anywhere, the "complete front-office software package", is going nowhere quickly in Europe as the service has been closed to new customers. The cloudy thing purported to manage SME customers’ e-commerce websites, their CRM, sales, order management, inventory and customer services from a single point. But the German …
Paul Kunert, 24 Apr 2017

Union elevates Fujitsu job cutting protest to Japanese embassy

Unite the Union wants Japan's ambassador to the UK to intervene in the long-running dispute with Fujitsu over the company's proposals to axe almost two thousand employees locally. The brothers at the union will tomorrow deliver a letter to Mr Koji Tsuruoka at the London-based embassy. The letter will criticise the "shameful …
Paul Kunert, 20 Apr 2017
Strike a match

April proves to be the cruellest month again as Fujitsu staff down tools

The beleaguered rank-and-file at Fujitsu are downing tools this month over long-running proposals to chop jobs and the pension pot, Unite the union has revealed. Fujitsu put 1,800 people, or 13 per cent of the UK workforce, at risk of redundancy back in October. Staff will be pushed at different stages of this year and early …
Paul Kunert, 10 Apr 2017
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Gartner halves tech splash forecasts, blames the US dollar

Data druids at Gartner are defending their soothsaying abilities after being forced to halve the projected rise they forecast for global tech spending for 2017 when an expected slide in the value of the greenback didn’t materialise. “The strong US dollar has cut $67 billion out of our 2017 IT spending forecast,” said research …
Paul Kunert, 10 Apr 2017
from the great gatsby pic copyright: warner brothers

Franken-firm DXC Technology is born today, the fun begins...

Franken-firm DXC Technology, the corporate mash-up between CSC and HPE Enterprise Services that was brought to life today, has urged staff to turn up to work in fancy dress, or at least corporate colours, to celebrate the launch. Memos - seen by us - were sent to staff of the new company at the end of last week, listing all of …
Paul Kunert, 03 Apr 2017
Flag of India

Indian Business Machines? One-third of Big Blue staff based there and Bangladesh

Just shy of one-third of IBM's global workforce is now based in India and Bangladesh, a leaked internal blog has indicated. World+dog was aware that Big Blue has spent years offshoring roles. El Reg previously revealed the firm planned to employ eight in ten services personnel in lower-cost locations by the end of 2017. IBM …
Paul Kunert, 31 Mar 2017
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IBM: Those 2 redundancy schemes? We need to 'improve margins' and right quick

Exclusive IBM UK has tried to justify running two redundancy schemes concurrently in the Infrastructure Services Delivery team, telling staff that financial pressures forced its hand and it may take similar action again. Some 30 roles are to be chopped under Project Baccarat, launched in February, and a newer, overlapping programme …
Paul Kunert, 29 Mar 2017
shutterstock_ledger_check

Oracle doing due diligence on Accenture. Yep, you read that right

Exclusive Oracle has hired global specialists to explore the feasibility of buying multi-billion dollar consultancy Accenture, sources have told us. The database giant has engaged a team of consultants to conduct due diligence to “explore the synergies that could be created if they [Oracle] bought Accenture lock stock and barrel,” one …
Paul Kunert, 28 Mar 2017
A "sold" sign

Sources: Misco SOLD to Hilco Capital, care home for the distressed

Exclusive Systemax has offloaded almost all of its Misco-branded European reseller operations to Hilco Capital, a buyer of distressed firms that will add the failing tech supplier to a basket that already contains HMV and Staples, multiple sources have told The Reg. An agreement was reached on Friday that comprises entities trading as …
Paul Kunert, 26 Mar 2017
Man throws briefcase in the air happily on the beach. Photo by Shutterstock

Alternative vet Quartermaine exits Daisy, Daisy...

Brit IT services giant Daisy Group has waved goodbye to former Alternative Networks CEO Mark Quartermaine – just months after it bought the comms and tech integrator, an internal document has confirmed. The absorption of Alternative, bought for £165m in December, was detailed in a memo this week by Daisy CEO Neil Muller, who …
Paul Kunert, 24 Mar 2017
Boss leans back comfortably in desk. Pic via Shutterstock

Lloyds Banking Group axing hundreds of jobs AGAIN

Lloyds Banking Group is throwing more UK techies overboard ahead of the big outsourcing deal with a “single strategic partner” that El Reg previously revealed was IBM. In a letter to the workforce, LBG group CIO Morteza Mahjour said there were changes across five areas of the function that reported to him, including the Chief …
Paul Kunert, 24 Mar 2017

I've Been Moved: IBMers in same division slapped with 2nd redundo scheme in 2 months

IBM UK appears to have fired the starting gun on a 2.0 redundancy programme for the Infrastructure Services Delivery division – before the first one has even concluded. Employees were given around an hour’s notice yesterday to join a mandatory call hosted by Deathly Debbie Hallows, veep of ISD for the UK and Ireland in which …
Paul Kunert, 24 Mar 2017
Call centre worker looks frustrated and unhappy. Photo by Shutterstock

Lloyds Banking Group to hang up on call centre staffers

Call centre staff at Lloyds Banking Group (LBG) are to be axed in the latest expenses purge, company insiders have told us. El Reg understands 95 people based at the Pendeford Business Park in Wolverhampton have been put at risk of redundancy. Pendeford is one of nine call centres the bank operates across the UK. Sources told …
Paul Kunert, 23 Mar 2017
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Softcat purrs as customers buy early to dodge Microsoft hikes

Microsoft UK price rises that kicked in at the start of this year weren't bad news for everyone in the country – IT reseller Softcat saw software sales swell as customers purchased licences early to avoid the hefty hike. Back in October, Microsoft said the cost of on-premises and cloud services would rise by 13 and 22 per cent …
Paul Kunert, 22 Mar 2017
IBM REDUNDANCY PROGRAMME BACCARAT - CARD GAME . pic by shutterstock

Calling your redundancy programme Baccarat? Immense Bummer, Management

Word reaches us of Project Baccarat*, IBM’s latest redundancy programme for staffers in the Infrastructure Services Delivery division. In mid-February, Big Blue asked for volunteers among the UK ISD workforce to leave the business with a statutory minimum pay-off, but after a 30-day consultation, the requisite 30 heads had not …
Paul Kunert, 22 Mar 2017

Now UK bans carry-on lappies, phones, slabs on flights from six nations amid bomb fears

The UK has banned airline passengers on direct inbound flights from six countries in the Middle East and North Africa from taking a range of electronic devices into the cabin due to fears of a terrorist attack. The decision, which mirrors a ban by the US Homeland Security from today and which was also based on intelligence …
Paul Kunert, 21 Mar 2017
recruitment_hired

Wang, bang, thank you, mang: Acer exec off to sell PCs for Lenovo

The wonderfully named Marco Grieco Wang-Andresen, number two EMEA exec at Acer, is floating across to run rival PC maker Lenovo's ops in the same territory, El Reg can confirm. The latest hire fills the shoes of Francois Bourbons, the previous COO who was last week slotted into the top job in EMEA, following 15 months of …
Paul Kunert, 21 Mar 2017
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Outgoing HPE workers stripped of gym cards and cushy remnants

HPE is ensuring that no unpleasant memories linger for Enterprise Services staff being booted to DXC Technology by informing them they are no longer entitled to membership to the employee discount scheme. In a mail to the great unwashed, HPE UK chief of staff Amanda Hill, said the firm is making "adjustments to the various …
Paul Kunert, 21 Mar 2017
A hand holding an axe in shadow

Safe, staffers? We'll let you know

Staff at Safe Computing - Britain’s nearest equivalent to Workday - are feeling anything but secure about their livelihoods after reading a proposal by their new owner to axe some jobs. Safe, which writes HR, payroll, staffing, financial and background screening software and employed just shy of 200 people across offices in …
Paul Kunert, 20 Mar 2017
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FCA straps on rubber gloves, eyes Redcentric's accounting mess

The Financial Conduct Authority is to probe the accounting screw-up at Redcentric that was made public last autumn when the firm admitted to overstating assets and understating net debts by millions of pounds. The London Stock Exchange-listed MSP said it made multi-year number crunching errors that saw net assets exaggerated …
Paul Kunert, 20 Mar 2017
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Fire brigade called to free man's bits from titanium ring's grip

Dublin’s fire brigade - armed with a hand-held angle grinder - were called to the aid of a man that was unable to remove a titanium ring that he’d miraculously slipped over both his meat and two veg. In yet another example of when choking of the bishop goes wrong, the unnamed male presented his problem member to doctors at …
Paul Kunert, 16 Mar 2017

IBM could have made almost all the voluntary redundancies it needed

IBM UK could have almost filled its quota for voluntary redundancies in the Technical Services Support division given the number of folk that had put their hands up to leave, but will make some compulsory cuts instead. An Employee Consultation Committee was created for TSS staff last month, with 47 positions or roughly 10 per …
Paul Kunert, 15 Mar 2017
recruitment_hired

Lenovo EMEA wakes up after five quarters of sliding sales, adds CEO

Lenovo EMEA has dropped its top ops man into the CEO chair following five quarters of shrinking turnover and recent operating losses. Francois Bornibus, charged with igniting the sales engine, will continue to report to president Luca Rossi, who will still hold “overarching” dual responsibility for the region and Latin America …
Paul Kunert, 14 Mar 2017
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Lawyer defending arson suspect flees court with pants on fire

Following the heat of a courtroom battle a lawyer defending an alleged arsonist was reportedly forced to flee proceedings temporarily after his own pants* caught fire. Miami-based legal eagle Stephen Gutierrez was in the midst of contending that his client’s car had spontaneously combusted and had not been deliberately set on …
Paul Kunert, 10 Mar 2017

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