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Final Arthur C Clarke novel on the way

The final novel by legendary sci-fi author Arthur C Clarke is to be published in August. According to the Independent, Clarke's unfinished book The Last Theorem was completed by fellow scribe Frederik Pohl. Publisher HarperCollins coughed six figures to secure the rights earlier this year. The book appears to have been a truly …
Sarah Bee, 07 Jul 2008
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Russell T Davies bows out of Doctor Who

Russell T Davies is stepping down from his executive producer and lead writer role on the BBC's pride and joy Doctor Who, no doubt to a mixed chorus of grateful cheers and sardonic smirks. According to the Beeb, Davies - dubbed "spectacularly talented" by BBC Fiction controller Jane Tranter - will remove himself after a Gatesian …
Sarah Bee, 20 May 2008
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El Reg offers cut-and-paste comments service

It's come to our attention that a certain kind of story will invariably provoke a Pavlovian response in certain Reg commentators who, in lieu of salivating at the sound of a bell, will suffer an immediate figurative jerking of the knee. This involuntary spasm in turn provokes an uncontrollable venting of the spleen, the …
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British youths think Churchill went to moon

In yet another set of survey results that surely tells us all we need to know about the state of our great nation, British youngsters innocently state that Sir Winston Churchill was the first man to walk on the moon, the Telegraph smirks. Befuddled tykes, aged between four and ten, confused the iconic and eerily baby-faced WWII …
Sarah Bee, 22 Mar 2008
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Famous Five film lined up

In further proof that there is not a single original concept left in the universe, another dusty retro classic is to be reheated in various media for today's ungrateful slack-jawed youth. The Times is jolly thrilled to report that Enid Blyton's venerable Famous Five, now 66 years old, are to return in a Disney Channel film. The …
Sarah Bee, 20 Mar 2008
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Endeavour accompanied by Rocket Man

NASA may not be emblazoning its shuttles with Formula One-style advertising slogans, but like Hollywood it seems to be sidling towards the odd sneaky bit of product placement. iPod Shuttle The new iPod Shuttle®. Picture copyright © Nasa The Reg reported last year on optimistic mutterings about the idea of NASA slapping …
Sarah Bee, 20 Mar 2008
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Mega-mortuary creaks open its doors in Westminster

The Home Secretary has cut the tape on a futuristic forensic mortuary, costing £783,800 and accommodating over 100 deceased citizens in Westminster. The first of its kind in London, the Beeb reports, it will deal solely with the suspiciously-dead. The Iain West Forensic Suite is named in honour of the flamboyant forensic …
Sarah Bee, 20 Mar 2008
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Peking University preps online swearing edict

In a magnificently ambitious move, Peking University is thinking of banning its students from gossiping or being sweary online. According to China Daily, University president Xu Zhihong is considering obliging students of the institution and perhaps its tutors to abide by new rules of internet cleanliness and decorum. The …
Sarah Bee, 19 Mar 2008
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Tolkien first edition goes for a bundle

An anonymous bidder has paid £60,000 for a first edition of JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit at auction, the Times reports. The book, which went under the hammer at Bonhams in London, was expected to fetch only half that amount. The copy was dedicated to Elaine Griffiths, a friend of the author, who was partly responsible for its …
Sarah Bee, 19 Mar 2008
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Tom Cruise does splits in birthday boogie vid

Just as the world had begun to recover from January's now-infamous insight into the workings of the mind of Tom Cruise, another succulent morsel of old footage has emerged showing the Top Gun star acting mad. The latest YouTube snippet bridges the gap perfectly between the four-year-old interview and the even more notorious " …
Sarah Bee, 18 Mar 2008
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Boozed Belarusian dodges birthday train squish

A Belarus woman snoozed her way through a near-death experience in Brest after she ended her birthday with a kip on a railway track. Svetlana Yurkova had been celebrating her 32nd birthday in the time-honoured fashion when she was overcome with fatigue, and found herself a comfortable place to bed down. "I just lay down on what …
Sarah Bee, 17 Mar 2008
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Domino's pizza prices may rise

The staple diet of cook-phobic carboholics is about to become more expensive, as pizza-peddler Domino's has warned the cost of ingredients is rocketing. A combination of factors, chiefly nasty weather in Europe and Australia and big demand in China, has pushed up the cost of the dairy and wheat products vital in making the …
Sarah Bee, 01 Nov 2007
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Pennsylvania woman in legal doo-doo for lav profanities

While swearing at work is apparently good for you, swearing in your bathroom isn't. Pennsylvania housewife Dawn Herb is preparing to fight charges of disorderly conduct brought against her after she swore at her unruly loo, and shortly afterwards a law enforcement officer. Herb, a resident of West Scranton*, was tackling her …
Sarah Bee, 17 Oct 2007
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Tasmanian tumours blamed on inbreeding

Warning: Graphic content More evidence, if it were needed, that no good can come of indulging in cousin-coitus. The Tasmanian devil, the grouchy doglike marsupial immortalised in the form of Warner Bros character Taz, is facing extinction due to a rampant communicable cancer. Tasmanian devil tumour The gruesome effects of DFTD. Researchers have …
Sarah Bee, 07 Oct 2007