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Kelly Fiveash

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UK.gov set to burn half a BEELLLION POUNDS on one-dole-to-rule-em-all IT, claims PAC chair

The UK government's deeply troubled Universal Credit omni-dole project is expected to lead to IT write-offs of more than £500m, according to Public Accounts Committee chair Margaret Hodge. In an interview for a special BBC Radio 4 programme on welfare reform, the Labour MP said that she believed money blown on the taxpayer- …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Oct 2014
Pierce Brosnan in Tomorrow Never Dies

'GCHQ's surveillance data gulp is BULKY and WARRANTLESS', human rights groups moan

Britain's spooks routinely rummage through reams of intelligence data from the NSA and other foreign spy agencies without first having to request a warrant, it has been claimed. According to the human rights groups that brought the UK's snooping agency GCHQ to court in July this year, secret internal policies unveiled during a …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Oct 2014
IT Crowd. Source: Channel 4 / 2entertain

US court SHUTS DOWN 'scammers posing as Microsoft, Facebook support staff'

The US Federal Trade Commission has shuttered a New York-based tech support business, after scammers allegedly hoodwinked Facebook and Microsoft users into paying hundreds of dollars for tech advice from Pairsys Inc. According to court documents (PDF) filed by the consumer protection agency, the firm was accused of violating the …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
Homer Simpson reading on a tablet

T-Mobile US chief SUCKS UP to Apple, gently ridicules rivals over SIM lockdown play

AT&T has been getting plenty of stick in the US, after it decided to disable Apple's SIM carrier-switching feature and greedily grab a customer's new iPad for good. Now, T-Mobile's US boss John Legere has mocked his competitors, while claiming that his company allows consumers to switch between operators. In a series of 20 …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
ipod u2 edition

Just don't blame Bono! Apple iTunes music sales PLUMMET

Elevation and Vertigo may be songs that hit the high notes for Apple boss Tim Cook's chums U2, but the same can't be said for sales of iTunes music right now, which have reportedly nosedived since the start of 2013. According to the Wall Street Journal, iTunes revenue witnessed a rapid decline of around 13 per cent to 14 per …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
Rotten apple

The DRUGSTORES DON'T WORK, CVS makes IT WORSE ... for Apple Pay

Apple Pay has reportedly been refused by not one but two leading US main-street pharmacies - apparently because their parent company is developing its own payment system. According to MacRumors, the large Stateside pharmacy CVS killed its near field communications (NFC) terminals just days after it was claimed that drugstore …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
Steve Ballmer

SHOW ME THE MONEY! Ballmer on Amazon: 'They're not a real biz, they make NO cash'

Ex-Microsoft boss Steve Ballmer has attacked retail giant Amazon for failing to make a profit after more than two decades of trading its wares online. "They make no money, Charlie. In my world, you're not a real business until you make some money. I have a hard time with businesses that don't make money at some point," Big …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014

Google roolz! Nest buys Revolv, KILLS new sales of home hub

Google's thermostat maker Nest Labs has snapped up upstart Revolv for an undisclosed sum. The takeover comes after Mountain View acquired Nest at the beginning of this year for $3.2bn. Revolv, which only hit the connected home market in 2013, announced the deal on its website. It abruptly added that sales of its automation hub …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014

UK.gov pushes for SWIFT ACTION against nuisance calls, threatens £500k fines

The UK government is hoping to force through a change in law to lower the legal threshold on punishments handed out to companies that make nuisance calls and send annoying texts to Brits. A six-week consultation process was announced by the Department of Culture, Media and Sport this morning. Culture Secretary Sajid Javid said …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014

'ANYTHING BUT STABLE' Netflix suffers BIG Europe-wide outage

Netflix was struck by what appeared to be a fairly significant 90-minute outage on its streaming service late on Friday night that affected folk across Europe. The company coughed to problems with its network at around 9:30pm UK time last night. We're aware of members in Europe having trouble streaming on some devices. We are …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014
channel_teaser_money_top

Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012

Facebook has responded to critics who attacked the free content ad network for contributing exactly zero bucks to UK corporation tax in 2012, by dishing up a a tiny sum of just £3,000 to HM Revenue & Customs last year. However, the £3,169 bill Facebook owed to the Treasury in 2013 was offset by tax credits – which in fact left …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014
A boat full of Fail

Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...

A number of Google services including Gmail, Contacts, Calendars, Chat, Drive and, er, Google+ suffered a midweek sag this morning just as Brits were downing their first cups of coffee. The ad giant's network appeared crippled to some users within the last hour. Register reader John told us that lots of different Google …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014

Computer misuse: Brits could face LIFE IN PRISON for serious hacking offences

British computer hackers who severely damage the national security of any country could face life in prison under a new criminal offence proposed in the Serious Crime Bill, however the plan has been attacked for lacking legal certainty by MPs and peers. The Joint Committee on Human Rights raised the alarm last Friday, after the …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014

EU digi tzar: 'I like the nickname STEELIE NEELIE. Yeah, why not'

Outgoing Brussels' unelected digi commissioner Neelie Kroes was in London this morning for her swansong in the UK's capital city, ahead of the vice-president's tenure ending later this month. Steelie Neelie surprisingly remarked that she liked the nickname The Register had given her. When asked about the moniker, she said: "Yeah …
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Oct 2014
Picard Facepalm

Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Yahoo! has finally developed a Flickr app for Apple's iPad – but the move has upset Microsoft Windows' fans who have accused the Purple Palace of having "selective hearing" about its userbase. The Marissa Mayer-run company, which bought photo-sharing site Flickr in 2005, said on Friday that it had cooked up an app for Cupertino' …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014

Whisper chief: 'We're not infallible but strive to do right by our anonymous users'

Whisper's CEO Michael Heyward responded late on Saturday to claims that his company's anonymous messaging app was quietly tracking the location of its users. He admitted in a post published on Medium that Whisper wasn't perfect, but Heyward was quick to defend its business tactics, after revelations emerged that the startup …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014

COMET barrels towards Mars, machines of humanity race for cover

A cosmic rock that is older than mankind is expected to come within 87,000 miles (139,500 km) of Mars today. An artist's impression of comet Siding Spring's flyby oft Mars. Image credit: NASA NASA has been gearing up for the close encounter by hiding its satellites to protect the kit from being damaged by passing comet debris …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014

'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts

The Tory-led government is hoping to push through amendments to existing legislation in England and Wales to crack down on trolls who post malicious comments online. Justice Secretary Chris Grayling told the Mail On Sunday that tougher sentences were to be introduced in an attempt to try to curb such abusive behaviour. It comes …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
balaclava_thief_burglar

Facebook slurps 'paste sites' for STOLEN passwords, sprinkles on hash and salt

Facebook's security bods routinely trawl public "paste" sites for email addresses and passwords stolen from its users, as part of an effort to outfox wrongdoers trying to hack into personal data on the free content ad network. However, the Mark Zuckerberg-run company was at pains to point out that the data-slurping battle with …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014
NASA image of solar flare

NASA eyeballs SOLAR HEAT BOMBS, MINI-TORNADOES and NANOFLARES on Sun

NASA scientists have unveiled data that they believe shows how the Sun's energy moves from the surface of the star at the centre of our Solar System through its fiery atmosphere. In a series of papers published in the latest issue of Science magazine, the astro boffins presented their findings from the US space agency's …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014

Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores

Apple has quietly removed Bose headphones from its stores, following a noise-cancelling patent spat that Cupertino settled with the music tech company last week. The latest move, spotted by 9to5Mac, comes after Bose slung a sueball at Apple-owned headphone maker Beats in July this year. At the time, Bose alleged that Apple had …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014

Nobody wants to look at your boobs: Snapchat gets ads 'that interest you'

Snapchat has begun serving up adverts to its naked selfie despatching users in the USA. The company said in a blog post on Friday that ads would debut for State-side netizens from today. The messaging service was understood to be something of a haven for supposedly self-destructing naked selfies – until that is when around 200, …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014

Virgin Media DOUBLE-PUNCHED by BSkyB AND BT over ad fibs

Virgin Media has been placed on the naughty step by the UK's advertising watchdog following two separate complaints from rival telcos BSkyB and BT. The cable company was berated by BSkyB for misleadingly implying that Sky Sports had been included in Virgin Media's advertised price for its "Big Kahuna Bundle". Broadcasting giant …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Oct 2014
Monsters vs. Aliens image

Do Moan! MONSTER 6-day EMAIL OUTAGE hits Domain Monster

Fed-up Domain Monster customers are still waiting for the company to fix an email outage that has been going on for six days now. In the last hour, the hosting firm has been forced to embarrassingly tell its subscribers that it was still in business, even though the outfit's email service remained titsup. As The Register …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Oct 2014
android tongue

Google AXES AndroidScript app used by 20,000 STEM coders WITHOUT WARNING

Google has removed a free educational app, dubbed AndroidScript, from its Play store, for breaching the ad giant's terms and conditions. According to the app's developer, Dave Smart, Mountain View abruptly yanked AndroidScript from its online shop without notifying him of the decision in advance. "Apparently we are in violation …
Kelly Fiveash, 09 Oct 2014

Three UK fined £250,000 for customer complaints COCKUP

Three UK has been fined £250,000 by Ofcom after the mobe carrier was caught giving up on moaning customers' complaints without resolving their problems with the service. The communications watchdog said that Three UK failed to handle some subscriber gripes in a "fair and timely manner". Ofcom added that, during the regulator's …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Oct 2014

Behind the Facebook DRAG QUEEN CRACKDOWN: 'Anonymity soon!'

Facebook is reportedly planning to release an app that will allow its users to hide their identity behind anonymous profiles. The apparent policy shift comes just weeks after drag artists in New York complained that the free content ad network was forcing them to ditch their stage names on the service. However, it's more likely …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Oct 2014

Revenge smut bullies who send 'grossly offensive' messages WILL be prosecuted

Prosecutors in England and Wales now have access to revised legal guidelines to help them tackle the online bullying stunt popularly dubbed "revenge porn". An update to existing advice on communications sent on social media sites, such as Twitter and Facebook, was announced by the Crown Prosecution Service on Monday. Current …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Oct 2014

It's not you, it's Three. Mobe network goes titsup across UK

Mobile operator Three UK is suffering a widespread outage across the country after the service was abruptly halted by server maintenance earlier today. Customers began complaining that they were unable to access the network this morning. The Register contacted Three UK to find out what had gone wrong. Yet the carrier's PR …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Oct 2014
Speaking Clock

BT's consumer mobe network suffers tech snags – but telco denies delay claims

BT's return to the consumer mobile market is reportedly being hampered by technical difficulties but the company has denied that the problems could force it to delay its plans. According to the Telegraph, which cited anonymous sources, BT is continuing to wrestle with carrying voice calls and data traffic over Wi-Fi networks. …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Oct 2014
Zuckerberg new news feed

SHOW ME the MONEY: Payment code spied in Facebook Messenger

Peer-to-Peer (P2P) payments code has been spotted in Facebook's Messenger app by Andrew Aude, a Stanford student: but the massive advertising company has refused to confirm it's working on payments technology. "We don’t comment on rumour or speculation," a spokesman at the free content ad network told The Register when quizzed …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Oct 2014
HP cloud

Report: HP to SPLIT OFF PC, printer biz from enterprise wing

Hewlett-Packard is reportedly planning a big break-up of its businesses, splitting its PC and printer operations from the company's corporate hardware and services divisions. The Wall Street Journal, citing people familiar with the matter, said that the huge rejig could be announced by HP on Monday. One source told the …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014

Hiss-hiss! GIGANTIC SOLAR FILAMENT snakes around Sun

NASA boffins have observed a massive filament of solar material snaking around the Sun. When fully extended the scientists believe that the filament – a cloud of stuff suspended above the fiery star by "powerful magnetic forces" – would measure some one million miles across from end to end. Solar filament (dark thread upper …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014

'Cops and public bodies BUNGLE snooping powers by spying on 3,000 law-abiding Brits'

Thousands of innocent Brits have reportedly been mistakenly snooped on by UK police and public bodies. That claim, which involved nearly 3,000 citizens, was made in a Times report (£) on Saturday. It was alleged that "Authorities routinely use sweeping legal powers to collect phone and internet records secretly". And there are …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014
Video

Verizon punches RED button on Redbox Instant video-streaming service

Verizon will shut down its Netflix competitor Redbox Instant on Tuesday, a mere year and a half after the firm first launched the video-streaming service in the USA. It's set to shut down permanently in a little over 48 hours from now, Verizon told subscribers. Redbox Instant said in a post on its website: Information on …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014
Hacked sarcasm

JPMorgan CYBER-HEIST: 9 US financial firms snared by 'Russian hackers', says report

Russian hackers with "loose connections" to Vladimir Putin's government were reportedly behind the massive JPMorgan cyber-heist understood to have hit 83 million households and businesses in the US. According to the New York Times, nine other Stateside financial institutions were also targeted by wrongdoers involved in the huge …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014
Photo of the Starship Enterprise's sick bay

Doctor Zuck, I'm so poorly right now! Facebook examines healthcare biz: report

Facebook is reportedly mulling over plans to step into the healthcare business – a move that would hardly be surprising given Google and Apple's interest in that market. According to Reuters, which cited three unnamed people familiar with the matter, the Mark Zuckerberg-run free content ad network is looking at setting up " …
Kelly Fiveash, 04 Oct 2014
Google and Microsoft

Microsoft to Samsung: COUGH UP $6.9m in unpaid interest over Android PATENT SPAT

Microsoft is pursuing $6.9m in unpaid interest on smartphone royalty payments of more than $1bn from electronics giant Samsung, a freshly unsealed lawsuit revealed on Friday. The ugly spat comes after Redmond accused Sammy of violating a so-called arms length business contract between the two companies. Since then, Microsoft …
Kelly Fiveash, 04 Oct 2014

ESA's comet-chasing Rosetta eyes up 67P's vital statistics

Incomplete yet more detailed measurements of Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, taken by the European Space Agency's Rosetta probe, were released on Friday. And now you can 3D print your own copy of the cosmic rock as a result. Comet 67P/C-G dimensions. Images: NAVCAM (snapped on 19 August). Dimensions: OSIRIS Boffins at the ESA …
Kelly Fiveash, 04 Oct 2014

DVLA website GOES TITSUP on day paper car tax discs retire

The government's rebuilt Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) website went titsup last night after failing to cope with demand for its service as thousands of drivers rushed to renew their car tax. Car owners clogged up the site, after the more-than-90-year-old paper tax disc was retired today. We are currently …
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Oct 2014

Universal Credit CRISIS: Howard Shiplee SHIPS OUT of top job

The Department for Work and Pensions' deeply troubled Universal Credit project has lost yet another chief, after Howard Shiplee quit the role on Monday. His decision to walk is a big blow for Secretary of State Iain Duncan Smith, who has witnessed a revolving door of UC bosses since the Cabinet minister unveiled his one-dole-to- …
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Sep 2014

Anti-Facebook Ello: Here's why we're still in beta. SPAMGASM!

Humblebrag site Ello, which has positioned itself as a worthy Web2.0rhea antiserum to the ad-poisoned Facebook, has come under attack from spammers. Just days earlier, the social network was temporarily forced to wave goodbye to its users late on Sunday night, after it claimed to have suffered an apparent distributed denial-of- …
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Sep 2014
ello

Ello? ello? ello?: Facebook challenger in DDoS KNOCKOUT

Ello, the social network site intended to serve as something of an antidote to ad-stuffed Facebook, was hit by a suspected Distributed-Denial-of-Service attack today. The outfit, which has gained plenty of press coverage in the past week after employing the classic invite-only marketing trick to lure in more users, said on its …
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Sep 2014
Blofeld's white cat

Spies, avert eyes! Tim Berners-Lee demands a UK digital bill of rights

The UK needs a digital bill of rights to protect citizens against the government's "indiscriminate online surveillance", world wide web inventor Tim Berners-Lee said on Saturday. The Greatest Living Briton™ was speaking at the Web We Want Festival in London. He lobbied politicos in Blighty to take action in the run up to next …
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Sep 2014
Air pollution in Harbin, Heilongjiang province, northeastern China, in October 2013

Microsoft boss Nadella makes fleeting visit to China for conciliatory competition talks

Microsoft's boss Satya Nadella reportedly visited Chinese antitrust officials in Beijing on Friday. At the start of this month, the software giant was given 20 days to submit written details to China's competition authorities explaining how the company's Windows operating system works together with its bundled Office suite. …
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Sep 2014
Angry woman on mobile

EE coughs to BROKEN data usage metrics BLUNDER that short-changes customers

Outraged EE customers who have reported flawed data usage spikes on their accounts are being told not to panic by the mobile operator. The glitch in the company's "My EE" app has led to some confused subscribers paying for more data, it has been claimed. Register reader Andy told us that his account had first been hit with the …
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Sep 2014

Rackspace to hit GLOBAL CLOUD REBOOT button to flush out Xen security nasty

Rackspace has warned its customers that it plans to reboot all of its servers across the globe to nix a security bug that was first spotted in the Xen virtualisation platform earlier this week. The managed cloud outfit told its customers about the "maintenance work" in an email, seen by The Register, that was sent out early on …
Kelly Fiveash, 27 Sep 2014
Our artist's impression of how BA handles lost baggage complaints

iPAD-FONDLING fanboi sparks SECURITY ALERT at Sydney airport

An iPad-obsessed bloke reportedly triggered an irritating security alert at Sydney Airport in Australia earlier today. The passenger apparently skipped the screening process and instead used an exit at the airport's Terminal 3, which is used for domestic flights, because his head was buried deep in his fondleslab. It would seem …
Kelly Fiveash, 27 Sep 2014
Satya Nadella

Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Microsoft is expected to reveal a new moniker for its Windows operating system at an invite-only event next Tuesday. In recent years, under the stewardship of Steve Ballmer, we've seen Windows 7 and Windows 8 names appear on Redmond's flagship product, after the launch of the disastrous Vista brand. But now, with new boss Satya …
Kelly Fiveash, 27 Sep 2014

Bendgate backlash: Apple claims warped iPhone 6 Plus damage is 'extremely rare'

Apple has dismissed claims that its iPhone 6 Plus handsets have a design flaw that makes them susceptible to being warped. The company, which has been ridiculed by its competitors over the so-called "bendgate" controversy, told the BBC that such damage was "extremely rare" when the iPhone 6 Plus is used in a normal manner. In …
Kelly Fiveash, 27 Sep 2014