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Google's Mountain View Headquarters

Speaking in Tech: Google bus BLOCKADE - is ANYONE home in Mountain View?

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week the whole gang is together and laments the lighter side of tech. They chat about anti-gentrification activists in San Francisco who blocked a Google bus taking employees to work in its Mountain View HQ on …
Team Register, 11 Dec 2013
register logo

e-Reader feeling empty? Top it up at El Reg's book shop

Site news We feel your pain. We understand what you want. So whether it’s that last minute dash for presents, or the prospect of spending the festive period squished in with your extremely un-techy relatives, ease your distress with the latest crop of Register ebooks. Planning the year ahead? Thinking of some New Year resolutions? Need a …
Team Register, 11 Dec 2013
Back of iPhone 5

A whopping one in four Apple fanbois uses OBSOLETE TECH

More than three quarters of all iPhone-toting fanbois have downloaded the latest version of iOS 7, it has been claimed. According to research by advertising company Chitika, iOS 7 is now being used on about 75 percent of iPhones and about 65 percent of iPads. The firm worked out this figure by measuring tens of millions of ad …
Team Register, 09 Dec 2013
Apple iOS 7

Sick of losing out to Walmart at Xmas? Apple to price-match iPad Air, iPhone 5c

US Apple stores have begun price-matching the latest models of its mobile phones and fondleslabs. According to a report on 9to5Mac.com, Cupertino has ordered its US stores to price-match both the iPad Air and iPhone 5C. iStores will be free to decide whether or not to price-match stores that are offering the Air and the 5C at a …
Team Register, 05 Dec 2013
An Amazon Prime Air drone

Speaking in Tech: Get an Amazon drone delivered by Amazon drone

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week Ed is out on business while Sarah returns with special guest Amy Lewis of Cisco. Greg doesn't buy the whole concept, while Amy plans to use the hover-postie to toilet-paper-bomb Greg's house... Sarah's take? It …
Team Register, 04 Dec 2013
Broken record

Looks like Google may ask you to PAY for YouTube music - report

Google appears to be readying YouTube for a music subscription service, after intriguing references were spotted in the app by the Android Police blog. It posted a series of strings detailed in the 5.3 version of the YouTube app, which tantalisingly mentions a number of juicy terms, including "Music Pass", "Offline playback", " …
Team Register, 28 Nov 2013

Speaking in Tech: Amazon showed me a 1980s HAIR METAL bar

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another of our weekly Wednesday tech podcasts, hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week Sarah is out enjoying Thanksgiving while Ed and Greg cook up a podcast with special guest Brian Gracely, who is EMC senior director of global solutions …
Team Register, 27 Nov 2013
Jade Rabbit or Yutu lunar rover

China: 'JADE RABBIT' will be FOUND ON MOON

China is hoping to land its first rover, Yutu or the Jade Rabbit, on the Moon next month as part of the third stage of its lunar missions. Jade Rabbit or Yutu lunar rover The country's first lunar buggy will be called Jade Rabbit after an online poll to pick its name chose the moniker from Chinese folklore. China's lunar …
Team Register, 27 Nov 2013
Photo of the KitKat mascot among the Android lawn statues

Got a NAKED Jelly Bean Samsung S4 or HTC One? Maybe it's time for a KitKat

Google has begun to roll out version 4.4 of its Android KitKat software to Google Play editions of the Samsung Galaxy S4 and HTC One. These special editions of the phone use the same hardware as other versions, but do away with the extra proprietary tweaks added by manufacturers. Kitkat has also been made available for the Nexus …
Team Register, 26 Nov 2013
Angry woman on mobile

Romance is dead: Part-time model slings $1.5bn SUEBALL at Match.com

Online dating website Match.com is being sued by a woman in Florida, who has brought a $1.5bn class-action lawsuit against the company in which she alleges that photos of her and thousands of others were used without permission on fake profiles. Part-time model Yuliana Avalos said of her complaint, which was filed in the US …
Team Register, 26 Nov 2013
Doctors Who

Gold meddler: Doctor Who is 50 years old TODAY

Doctor Who @ 50 Doctor Who, the longest running sci-fi show on telly, is 50 years old TODAY. The very first episode was broadcast just after a quarter past five on 23 November, 1963 - years before a fair few Reg readers were thought of let alone thrust a-wailing into the world. It hasn’t been a continuous run. What fans now call the Classic …
Team Register, 23 Nov 2013

BRAGGIE-GASM: Rotund DOTCOM copies MILEY CYRUS on XBOX DAY!

Do you regularly trawl through Facebook only to find an acquaintance of yours posing in a photo where he's sunning himself on holiday, sipping cocktails and pawing at women in skimpy bikinis? Do you add a comment to said snap calling your chum a "jammy git"? If so, you're responding to a freshly coined phenomenon: the "Braggie …
Team Register, 22 Nov 2013

The latest stupid yoof craze: Taking selfies - while DRIVING

What could be more stupid than spending your days taking pictures of yourself? Snapping a selfie whilst speeding along the motorway, which is apparently becoming a thing. There are 3,727 pictures on Instagram which use the #drivingselfie hashtag and almost 1,900 using #drivingselfies. Underneath some of these pictures is written …
Team Register, 22 Nov 2013
Xbox One and controller

XBOX ONE ROUNDUP-of-the-ROUNDUPS: Everything YOU need to know

Roundup2 Microsoft’s Xbox One: it's a console so BIG, one games website found it needed five writers to tackle it. And the reviews are big too: waffletastic screeds of such length you wonder how few folk will read ‘em through and not simply scroll to the end for the reader comments. And that's before the thing goes on sale this Friday. …
Team Register, 20 Nov 2013
OpenStack's "Dope 'N Stack" campaign

Speaking in Tech: Enterprise bods are hungry for open source

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's weekly Wednesday tech podcast, hosted by Ed Saipetch, Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela. This week the whole gang is together with special guest Joseph B George, director of cloud and big data solutions at Dell. Joseph talks about his work at …
Team Register, 20 Nov 2013
Azure icon

What we learned at our Windows Azure Regcast

On 10 October QA’s Matt Bishop became the latest and the bravest techie to enter El Reg studio for a hands-on session. Bravely ignoring advice never to work on stage with children or real-time internet feeds he did both, sitting alongside the Reg’s Tim Phillips for an hour of breakneck live Windows Azure configuration. Why, …
Team Register, 14 Nov 2013

Speaking in Tech: Hey next-airline-seat neighbour... stop yakking and go fondle your slab

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela, it's another epirsode of El Reg's tech podcast, Speaking in Tech. This week the whole gang is together and touches on the lighter side of tech. This week we discuss: Eddie, Greg and Sarah catch up Sarah's confession …
Team Register, 13 Nov 2013

Twitter declares war on Storify, whips out custom curated timelines

Twitter is introducing custom timelines - its first significant new service since the micro-blogging site floated on Wall Street last week. It means that anyone can set up their own timeline containing tweets from a choice of sources they may want to publicly share about a particular event. Twitter said: Share the best Tweets …
Team Register, 13 Nov 2013

New Retina iPad Mini not sold out HOURS after launch - world REELS

Analysts worldwide are increasingly dumfounded today as it appears that the new Retina iPad Mini from Apple has not, according to Apple's online stores, sold out within hours of becoming available. As this article is written the UK Apple Store website still shows all models of Retina Mini available for delivery within just days …
Team Register, 12 Nov 2013
Google Chocolate Factory

Google makes Gmail EVEN NOISIER, or should that be nosier?

Google has added more intrusive buttons to its email service as it continues to try to spread its ad goo across its vast online estate. Mountain View débuted its so-called quick action buttons in May this year to allow Gmail users to respond to certain types of messages without having to open them first. It meant that Gmailers …
Team Register, 12 Nov 2013
iPad mini with Retina display

HUMANITY STUNNED - Apple Retina iPad Mini arrives. A solemn moment

OMFG! It's true! All the signs and portents have borne fruit. After the ritual disembowelling of an Apple support tool, auguries foretold that on this day a new iPad should come forth, and lo, the Apple stores verily did shut down. Then as the day dawned, behold, even such an iPad did appear. It is the Retina iPad Mini, which - …
Team Register, 12 Nov 2013
Star Wars: The Complete Saga

Does 'Star Wars' casting call hint at DEATH of LUKE SKYWALKER?

An open casting call for "lead roles in a Disney film" is rumoured to be the search for unknowns to lead the new Star Wars movies. Star Wars: The Complete Saga Disney is holding open auditions for an unnamed film in the UK and Ireland over the next couple of weeks looking for a male and female lead, according to @UKopencall …
Team Register, 07 Nov 2013

Speaking in Tech: Cisco buys out Insieme. To UNCLOAK data centre tech, just press PLAY

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week's podcast brings you piping hot enterprise news. Your hosts Greg Knieriemen and Ed Saipetch – Sarah Vela is out this week – got the scoop on Cisco's new "spin-in" Insieme straight from the horse's mouth when they chatted to Cisco's Amy Lewis and Insieme's Joe …
Team Register, 06 Nov 2013

Unsung DEAD WHALE EXPLODER hero, who gave the early internet a purpose, passes away

Obituary The internet is mourning the sad death of George Thomas Thornton, the man who gained immortal fame for blowing up a dead whale on TV and so created what was probably the first truly viral video. The video of the infamous exploding whale. Thornton became famous when a video showing his rather ill-advised decision to get rid of a …
Team Register, 05 Nov 2013

Facebook fans fuel FAGGOT FURY firestorm

Britain's humble and frankly disgusting offal-based meatball – the faggot – led to one man being temporarily chucked off Facebook, after Americans became outraged by what they believed to be blatant gay-hating behaviour on the free content ad network. The sorry tale started, according to the Sun newspaper, when 54-year-old …
Team Register, 04 Nov 2013
anonymous logo

Off your bikie laws: Anonymous to Queensland Premier Newman

Queensland's police force is investigating the posting of an Anonymous-identified video to YouTube protesting the state's anti-bikie laws, and also the publication of premier Campbell Newman's private mobile number and home address online. The government describes the laws as serving the purpose of dismantling outlaw motorcycle …
Team Register, 04 Nov 2013
Artist's impression of the GOCE spacecraft in orbit

Fiery bits of Euro satellite to rain down on Earth this weekend

Europe's GOCE satellite is due to come tumbling out of the sky to crash-land on Earth sometime next week – and nobody quite knows where it will land. The Gravity field and steady-state Ocean Circulation Explorer (GOCE) has stayed in its low Earth orbit for an extra two-and-a-half years on its planned mission, but came to the end …
Team Register, 01 Nov 2013
A picture of a cat.

'It seems that the OSes and devices are based on the Devil'

Quotw This was the week when Dell received a flood of complaints about the fact that its Latitude 6430u Ultrabook literally stinks. The whiffy laptops were shipped out to users smelling distinctly of feline urine. Owners took to Dell's support forums to start complaining: So a few weeks ago I got a new Lattitude 6430u for work. The …
Team Register, 01 Nov 2013
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

The Colosseum, Hagia Sophia, Tower of London... and, er, Steve Jobs' GARAGE

The house where Steve Jobs built his first computers has been added to a list of historic buildings in Los Altos. The Los Altos Historical Commission voted unanimously to add the home at 2066 Crist Drive as a historic resources, since its hallowed garage was where Jobs made his first computers and co-founded Apple, the San Jose …
Team Register, 31 Oct 2013
Vaughn Stewart of Pure Storage

Speaking in Tech: 'Pure Storage is defined by... Vaughn Stewart's hairdo'

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Eddie is wining and dining while Sarah and Greg hold court with Mark Twomey of EMC, better known as StorageZilla. Mark Twomey's dulcet Irish tones brighten your Wednesday as the team shoot the breeze about …
Team Register, 30 Oct 2013
First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs

DEAD STEVE JOBS chap becomes ENGINEER ... at Lenovo

Lenovo has joined the likes of BlackBerry, Intel and Polaroid in hiring a celebrity to have creative input on its new products, bagging Steve Jobs-affiliated Ashton Kutcher for the position of "product engineer". First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs Ashton Kutcher pretending to be Steve Jobs Whether Kutcher, who …
Team Register, 30 Oct 2013
Google Self Driving Car

ROBOT PODS to INVADE Milton Keynes in frenzied automatic MAYHEM

Milton Keynes will play host to a fleet of smartphone-controlled driverless pods powered by electric motors and gunning around the town at 12mph. A hundred of the wee pods, which will only have enough space for two passengers and some luggage, will start rolling around the blocky Midlands town in 2015, whizzing between the …
Team Register, 29 Oct 2013
London BMW 5-Series police car

Brit bloke busted over backdoor blagging of US troops' data

A 28-year-old British man has been charged with the alleged hacking of thousands of computer systems in the US and other countries, a New Jersey attorney said today. Lauri Love of Stradishall, England, stands accused of one count of accessing a US department or agency computer without permission and one count of conspiracy. …
Team Register, 28 Oct 2013

LinkedIn: Obviously biz people DON'T use MS Exchange servers. REALLY?

LinkedIn has publicly spurned Microsoft by creating a new email-contact-identification app on Apple's iPhone which doesn't integrate with Redmond's Exchange email software. The company's mobile application - dubbed Intro - was debuted by LinkedIn on Wednesday, as it shrugged off reports of an hour-long outage with its service. …
Team Register, 24 Oct 2013
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 3D

Speaking in Tech: Ah, developers. Or should we say DARK KINGPINS of the TECH underworld?

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week in Speaking in Tech, your host Eddie Saipetch is flying solo while Greg Knieriemen does real work and Sarah Vela is under the weather. Eddie's special guest is Val Bercovici, big data and cloud czar at NetApp. They chat about the growing influence of devs in the …
Team Register, 23 Oct 2013
coffee cappuchino starbucks latte mocha

Speaking in Tech: 'People are gonna vote for BlackBerry just to mess with me'

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week in Speaking in Tech, your hosts Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela hold down the fort while Eddie Saipetch parties in Barcelona. They chat about Oracle's white paper, drinking culture in the UK vs the US, VMWare's shock acquisition of Desktone, and whether the WinPhone …
Team Register, 16 Oct 2013
Assange

Assange: 'Ecuadorian embassy staff are like my family'

Julian Assange has said that the folks at the Ecuadorian embassy in London he currently calls home are like a family to him and he gets lots of visits from very silly people celebrity supporters. You know the old saying: you can choose your friends but clearly you can't choose which types your embassy will offer safe harbour to …
Team Register, 15 Oct 2013
WikiLeaks logo

Wikileaks FAILS to start Twitter bitchfight with Guardian hack

Wikileaks is engaged in a Twitter spat with Guardian journalist Glenn Greenwald, accusing him of profiting from NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden's leaks to the paper. Greenwald is planning a book on Snowden, the former NSA worker who leaked documents from the agency to newspaper and other outlets. There is also talk of a movie …
Team Register, 14 Oct 2013

Twitter-mad twits trade 14 million shares in BANKRUPT zombie biz

US regulators have had to change the stock symbol of bankrupt electronics firm Tweeter after some overexcited investors mistook the shares for soon-to-IPO microblogging website Twitter's stocks, sending them surging by 750 per cent. The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority assigned Tweeter Home Entertainment Group the new …
Team Register, 10 Oct 2013

Too busy tweeting to turn over TV channels? AT LAST a solution

Are you a "second screen" telly aficionado? Do you lie on the sofa mainly occupied in watching out for hilarious apophthegms on Twitter, subliminally irritated by the drivel on the big screen and wishing there was something decent on - but too distracted even to channel surf, let alone use the EPG or similar? Help of a sort is …
Team Register, 10 Oct 2013

Speaking in Tech: Stop ogling my Google Glass, my eyes are up here

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's weekly enterprise tech podcast, hosted by Ed Saipetch, Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela. Ed and Greg are in the driving seat as Sarah's off celebrating a birthday. Fortunately, Cisco's Amy Lewis joins as our special guest this week... This week …
Team Register, 09 Oct 2013
Going through the airport perv scanner

Police constable 1337 stunned by Lego lookalike

It's not every day that the Venn diagram covering law enforcement, tiny figurines and internet jargon crosses over, but today is such a day. Reports have it that a police constable whose official number is 1337 has been gobsmacked to find that Lego have brought out a tiny plastic plod who not only has the same number - he is …
Team Register, 07 Oct 2013
three amigos movie poster + three speaking in tech podcast hosts: Greg Kniereman, Sarah Vela, Ed Saiptech

Speaking in Tech: That EMC hypegasm? Ed and Greg grill a senior veep

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Sarah is away, so it's just Ed and Greg with special guest Chad Sakac, senior vice-president for Global Presales Technical Resources at EMC. Want a quick roundup of what everyone in the storage, enterprise and …
Team Register, 04 Oct 2013

Flutter-BYE, we're all Google now: Ad giant slurps gesture-tastic app-maker

Google has bought gesture recognition startup Flutter for an undisclosed sum. The machine vision technology outfit was co-founded by San Francisco-based Navneet Dalal and Mehul Nariyawala three years ago. CEO Dalal announced that Google had scooped up their firm, which specialises in controlling apps such as Apple's iTunes with …
Team Register, 03 Oct 2013
Court gavel

Ex-Sun journalist charged with handling a stolen mobile phone

An ex-Sun journalist has been charged with a computer hacking offence and also faces a second charge relating to the alleged handling of a stolen mobile phone. Ben Ashford, 34, had worked on Rupert Murdoch's tabloid newspaper, which is published by News International (since rebranded as News UK), for four years from 2006. "The …
Team Register, 01 Oct 2013

Google: Thanks for the billions in revenue, UK. Here are your taxes, that's ... £11m

Google paid Britain £11.2m in corporation tax in 2012, the company confirmed today. That's slightly more than the £7.3m the ad giant coughed up in 2011. But the latest figure, confirmed by Google to The Register this afternoon, will no doubt enrage the search king's critics - including Labour MP and Parliament's Public Accounts …
Team Register, 30 Sep 2013
Steve Bowen outside the ISS on the STS-126 fourth and final spacewalk. Pic: NASA

Fresh shift of 'nauts arrives at Space Station, planning torch jaunt

Astronauts and cosmonauts from Russia and the US had a fuss-free journey to the International Space Station, where they have just arrived for a five-and-a-half-month stint working and living on the hurtling lab. Oleg Kotov, Mike Hopkins and Sergey Ryazanskiy took just under six hours from lift-off from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in …
Team Register, 26 Sep 2013

'Bet Lynch' types BANNED from zoo for upsetting not-so-wildlife

A UK zoo has enforced an animal print ban, after visitors clad in tiger-like attire were found to be confusing and upsetting its captive creatures. Zebra, giraffe, leopard, cheetah and tiger are reportedly among the prints to have been outlawed by Chessington World of Adventures in Surrey. The zoo has hired people to police the …
Team Register, 26 Sep 2013
wall_street

Chinese tat bazaar Alibaba snubs Honkers, eyes up Wall St float

Chinese web marketplace Alibaba reportedly looks set to field its initial public offering in the US after it failed to secure a stock exchange listing in Hong Kong. The online-shopping powerhouse, which is headed up by Jack Ma, could float on Wall Street early next year with a price tag valued at $70bn, the Wall Street Journal …
Team Register, 25 Sep 2013
three amigos movie poster + three speaking in tech podcast hosts: Greg Kniereman, Sarah Vela, Ed Saiptech

Speaking in Tech: 'Why are you talking on your iPad Mini?'

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Not even customers like NASA and National Geographic can guarantee your safety as a cloudy storage biz. This week in Speaking in Tech, your hosts Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela, the three amigos of El Reg's tech-cast, talk about Nirvanix's shock implosion; …
Team Register, 25 Sep 2013