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Extra detailed Big Iron coverage, LIVE TODAY at The Platform

The Platform is a new publication which goes live today in partnership with The Register. It will offer in-depth coverage of high-end computing at large enterprises, supercomputing centers, hyperscale data centers, and public clouds. Some companies are building their own platforms for internal use, while others are building …
Team Register, 03 Feb 2015

The Pirate Bay clambers back online after cop raid sunk site for 7 weeks

Torrent search engine The Pirate Bay is back online weeks after a police raid on a Swedish data centre sunk the copyright-infringing clearinghouse site. Administrators behind the infamous site had promised to bring TPB back to life today, however it crept back online on Saturday, as first reported by file-sharing blog …
Team Register, 01 Feb 2015

Carmakers DEFLATED by AIRBAG FLAW as US watchdog recalls TWO MEELLION vehicles

More than 2 million SUVs and cars have been recalled by a US regulator, after manufacturers including Honda and Toyota failed to fix defects found in the airbags of some of their early Noughties' models. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (HTSA) confirmed that Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx had announced …
Team Register, 01 Feb 2015

Earth's soil moisture to be sniffed by DIRTY-MINDED satellite

NASA has successfully launched a satellite that will collect global observations of Earth's soil moisture. The U.S. space agency's bird – dubbed the Soil Moisture Active Passive (SMAP) satellite – was blasted into space on the unmanned United Launch Alliance Delta II rocket. During SMAP's three-year mission, the sat's expected …
Team Register, 31 Jan 2015
Planck view of BICEP2 field (image credit: ESA/Planck)

Tearful boffins confirm grav wave tsunami NOT caused by Big Bang

Claims that a gravitational wave tsunami swept the universe from the Big Bang have turned to dust ... interstellar dust. Last September, the smart money was already backing the idea that the signal didn't come from the early universe and, on Friday, scientists agreed that the "gravitational waves remain elusive." No conclusive …
Team Register, 31 Jan 2015
Windows OEM devices on stage at Computex

Speaking in Tech: FREE Win 10 upgrade 'NOT really a big deal'

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's El Reg's best and only tech podacast, hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week the crew tackles Big Blue, "free" Windows from Microsoft and police chasing Waze. Special guest Scott Hanson from Cisco is in teh hotseat. This week we discuss... 1: …
Team Register, 28 Jan 2015

Cash'n'Carrion January sale: Get in there while you can

If you fancy enjoying 20 per cent off everything down at El Reg's merchandising tentacle, Cash'n'Carrion, you'd better get in there sharpish, because our January sale ends on Saturday. To claim the bumper discount, just enter "JAN20" in the appropriate box during checkout – simple as that. While you're filling your retail boots …
Team Register, 27 Jan 2015

BOT AN ABOMINATION: Mechanical DRONE VAMPIRE spreads wings

Vid Swiss researchers, who developed a robot that can walk on its wings across tricky terrain, have flaunted their latest prototype which they hope could one day be used in search and rescue operations. Or something. Youtube Video The latest model from EPFL builds on the previous design of the drone, dubbed DALER (Deployable Air- …
Team Register, 25 Jan 2015
New Horizons spacecraft approaching Pluto

FROSTY MISTRESS of the Outer System: Pluto yields to probe snapper

NASA's New Horizons spaceship, which has been on its mission to Pluto for nine years now, is expected to start snapping photos of the icy planet today. The probe has travelled roughly 3 billion miles away from Earth for its closest approach with the dwarf planet expected to take place on 14 July this year. Boffins at the U.S. …
Team Register, 25 Jan 2015
Hand precision grip

SUPERHANDS! Fossils of early human ancestors reveal a GRIPPING development

Ancestors of humans who lived around three to two million years ago appear to have had the ability to use their hands in a very similar way to how we grip tools today, according to a new study from anthropologists. Power "squeeze" gripping and forceful precision employed by humans were understood to relate to a reduction in tree …
Team Register, 24 Jan 2015
chalk outline of  human body at crime scene

Lies, damn lies and Wikipedia: Murder suspect NOT a Plaxo founder – ex-staffer

News reports which claim that Minh Nguyen, who has been arrested for murder, was one of the founders of the address-book-in-the-cloud, Plaxo, appear to be based on an erroneous Wikipedia entry that had been repeatedly edited. The story was reported in The MailOnline (screenshot here), techcrunch (which seems to have modified its …
Team Register, 22 Jan 2015
Homer Simpson wearing a Glass headset to bed

Speaking in Tech: Google takes Glass out to the wood shed

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This episode of El Reg's talkative techcast is hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. Tuck in. This week the team is back beating up on Google, and gloating over the end of Google Glass, or rather its "graduation" (“a bullet to the ****ing head”). It looks …
Team Register, 21 Jan 2015
Fujitsu TR800

Diamonds are forever, Fujitsu Eternus now for VDI

Fujitsu has added a bunch of new variants to its Eternus TR storage arrays, targeting large scale desktop virtualisation environments. The models are the Eternus TR820, TR850 and TR880, with the last in the list claiming the ability to connect 3,500 VMs, which the company says is nearly double the scale of its previous models. …
Team Register, 20 Jan 2015
Great Wall of China

Microsoft Outlook PENETRATED by Chinese 'man-in-the-middle'

Microsoft suffered a "man-in-the-middle" attack on its Outlook email service in China over the weekend, according to The assault on its mail systems apparently lasted around 24 hours before returning to normal. It came after Google's Gmail was blocked in the People's Republic late last year. said …
Team Register, 19 Jan 2015
Mulder in The X-Files

This could be a case for Mulder and Scully: Fox 'in talks' to bring back The X-Files

Chris Carter's cult, '90s telly classic The X-Files could be set for a return to the small screen, after the Fox network confirmed it was in talks to hit reboot on the drama series. Original cast members David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are expected to reprise their roles as FBI special agents Mulder & Scully in the popular …
Team Register, 18 Jan 2015
Unknown planets could exist beyond Pluto

OTHER EARTHS may be orbiting our Sun beyond Neptune

Astroboffins believe at least two hidden planets may exist in our solar system – far beyond Pluto. If the claim from scientists at the Complutense University of Madrid and the University of Cambridge is confirmed, the "results may be truly revolutionary for astronomy," said Carlos de la Fuente Marcos, who co-authored the study …
Team Register, 18 Jan 2015
Maser developed by Princeton University researchers

REGARD our TINY but POWERFUL LASER, suitable for very SMALL sharks

Shrinking the scale of semiconductor materials to help build powerful quantum-computing systems has proved to be a real head-scratcher for scientists. However, boffins at Princeton University have come up with a device that they think could be a "major step forward" for the tech. The university's associate physics professor, …
Team Register, 17 Jan 2015

Cash'n'Carrion launches big January sale

In the traditional spirit of post-Xmas retailing, El Reg's merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion is offering 20 per cent off everything until the end of January, so now is the time to get in there and grab yourself some cut-price kit. Polo shirt modelled by strapping Vulture Central employee For instance, if you'd like to …
Team Register, 14 Jan 2015
Jeff Bezos shows off the Amazon Fire Phone

Speaking in Tech: Amazon Fire Phone – 'insanity' but 'genius'

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This episode of El Reg's techcast is hosted by the whole gang: Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch, and Sarah Vela. Our special guest for this episode is Nick Weaver, Director of Intel SDI Labs at Intel. This week the crew chews on three big topics. Firstly, is Amazon's Fire Phone …
Team Register, 14 Jan 2015
Picture by Afonso Lima

Huawei: Phone sales helped fatten our bottom line in 2014

Phone sales helped network equipment giant Huawei to bank 20 per cent more revenue in 2014 than the previous year, the company said today in an earnings guidance. The Chinese company estimates sales for the 12 months to come in at between ¥287-289bn (£30.3bn to £30.9bn) when the final numbers for calendar ’14 are reported in …
Team Register, 13 Jan 2015
IBM PC 5150

IBM: Hey, Intel and pals. Look on our massive patent pile and despair

IBM has once again been crowned the leader of the annual patents list, way ahead of US tech giants such as Microsoft, Google and Apple. It's the 22nd year in a row that Big Blue has led the pack with its patent stash, which a company can use as a pile of competitive and anticompetitive weapons in the software world. Big Blue …
Team Register, 12 Jan 2015
James Franco and Seth Rogen in The Interview

Speaking in Tech: The Interview? PAH. Nobody'd bother if the Norks had kept quiet

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise The whole crew is together again for the New Year's ep of El Reg's tech cast, hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela, with special guest Mark Twomey (aka Storagezilla) of EMC. Don't be alarmed when you start the podcast - we have a new introduction this week …
Team Register, 07 Jan 2015
Confused computer keyboard

Software-defined everything: So, WHEN is the 'future'?

The software-defined data centre concept has attracted considerable attention and hype, with its promise of reducing hardware costs and automating control of infrastructure. Backers of the idea say the SDDC will enable policy-driven management of resources, allowing applications to be deployed across commodity hardware to suit …
Team Register, 05 Jan 2015

Secretive Chinese smartphone maker Xiaomi gets TALKY over HUGE sales

Chinese tech giant Xiaomi racked up 74.3bn yuan ($11.97bn) in pre-tax revenue last year, the company's president Bin Lin said today. The vendor apparently had a mega 135 per cent growth spurt in 2014, after it sold more than 61 million smartphones during the 12-month period. Xiaomi's co-founder didn't offer any details on …
Team Register, 04 Jan 2015

Acer to unveil a 15.6-INCH Chromebook WHOPPER at CES

CES 2015 Acer has bigged up an embiggened Chromebook with a 15.6-inch screen ahead of the opening of the world's largest consumer electronics trade show – CES – in Las Vegas in a few days' time. The vendor claimed that it had developed a robust Google OS-powered laptop with a case that it promised would "withstand up to 60kg of force, …
Team Register, 03 Jan 2015
South Park: Stick of Truth

Ugly Microsoft code NUKED Bing and Yahoo! – report

Microsoft and Yahoo!'s search engines may hold much smaller portions of the market, which is dominated by ad giant Google, but netizens still noticed when the services went dark for a short period on Friday. Reuters, citing a person briefed on the outages, reported today that the search engines went titsup after Redmond …
Team Register, 03 Jan 2015

UFOs in the '50s skies? CIA admits: 'IT WAS US'

The US government's Central Intelligence Agency has 'fessed up about reports of UFO sightings in the 1950s by playfully tweeting "it was us". It linked to a document entitled The CIA and the U-2 Program 1954-1974 (PDF), which was first published in 1998. The CIA decided to flag it up via its Twitter account because it had …
Team Register, 01 Jan 2015
Reg SF holiday test materials

El Reg tests portable breathalyzers: Getting drunk so you don't have to

Celebrating Christmas and the New Year is traditional in many cultures and, humans being what they are, usually involves the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol. Of course, that consumption comes with a cost. The liver, which processes over 90 per cent of booze consumed, can take a hit from a heavy session. Plenty of …
Team Register, 31 Dec 2014

Euro SPACEMAN snaps incredible images of our Blue Planet

Vid ESA 'naut Alexander Gerst captured some breathtaking images of Earth during his six-month stint on the International Space Station. This timelapse video brings together 12,500 photos snapped by Gerst while he was part of the Blue Dot mission from May to November this year. Youtube Video Highlights include stunning auroras, …
Team Register, 28 Dec 2014
Who trio, photo: BBC

Doctor Who's tangerine dream and Clara's death wish in Last Christmas

TV Review Readers please note: THIS IS A POST-UK-BROADCAST REVIEW – THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! Brid-Aine says: I don’t usually have much time for schmaltz and sentimentality, but I make an exception for Christmas. I can take a certain amount of it at this time of year, the season of goodwill and all that. But the sight of the new and …
Team Register, 25 Dec 2014
International Space Station

Mysterious STAR set to appear on Christmas Eve above Blighty: The ISS

NASA's International Space Station is expected to be shining brightly above Britain's skies tonight. Budding young scientists can probably catch a glimpse of ISS between 5pm and 7pm today - weather permitting, of course. @Space_Station decorated for the holidays as the #ISS crew studies life in space: …
Team Register, 24 Dec 2014
snowden insider theft security

Google it! Ruskie gov user data slurps jumped 25% last year

Google user data access requests from the Russian government jumped a whopping 25 per cent in the last six months of 2013, Mountain View has revealed in a rejigged version of its "Transparency Report". The ad giant said it had tweaked the way it presented the information requested by governments around the world to try to "make …
Team Register, 23 Dec 2014
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

Brit thesp Kate Winslet eyes lead female role in Steve Jobs biopic – report

British actor Kate Winslet has reportedly entered talks with Universal to play the lead female role in the biopic of Apple supremo Steve Jobs, who died in 2011. According to Variety magazine, Oscar winner Winslet, who is perhaps best known for her performance in epic, watery-doom flick Titanic, was likely attracted to the film …
Team Register, 21 Dec 2014
Fenke with Reg the vulture and the powerbank

Last chance for Xmas Cash'n'Carrion goodies

Those of you who'd been mulling snaffling something from our Cash'n'Carrion merchandising emporium should be aware that today is the deadline for international orders to be delivered before Xmas, and UK customers should get in there tomorrow at the latest to receive their goodies before Santa touches down on their rooftops. …
Team Register, 18 Dec 2014
Boring Christmas

Scrooges rejoice! Beancounters find formula for perfect Xmas party

If you’re planning a Christmas party and you’re the sort of miserly Scrooge type that doesn’t want to waste any money on excess Christmas crackers, science has got you covered. A trio of those party-loving statisticians has worked out the formula for the optimum number of crackers for a party to ensure that everyone wins one …
Team Register, 18 Dec 2014

Speaking in Tech: MICROSOFT to buy out TWITTER? Nah

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch, and Sarah Vela. The gang look back on a reasonably quiet year, score predictions made, and look forward to next year's big corporate moves. Sarah has already started the holidays (lucky her), while Ed and Greg pontificate on next year …
Team Register, 17 Dec 2014
Santa Claus on his laptop

HORRIFIED Amazon retailers fear GOING BUST after 1p pricing cockup

UK businesses that rely on a third party pricing system on Amazon were hit by an hour-long software glitch on Friday night, with items being sold for just 1p. Some retailers complained that RepricerExpress's technical cockup, which happened between 7pm and 8pm on 12 December, could leave them bankrupt. A number of small …
Team Register, 14 Dec 2014
Hubble image with dark matter mass overlay

Dark matter-hunting boffins spot EXCITING signal in X-ray spectrum

Vid Boffins believe they may finally have detected the first sign of dark matter, after picking up an unusual photon emission signal in X-rays coming from space. Scientists from the EPFL lab of particle physics and cosmology (LPPC) and Leiden University are expected to publish their findings next week in Physical Review Letters. In …
Team Register, 13 Dec 2014
Google's Cardboard VR headset

Upchuck nation: Half a million CHUMPS now own Google Cardboard VR gear

Google's virtual reality headset Cardboard has now been shipped to 500,000 customers, after the ad giant unveiled the gadget earlier this year. Mountain View's VR gear landed at its I/O event in San Francisco in June, when some wondered if Google was taking a playful dig at Facebook's hefty $2bn buyout of Oculus Rift by …
Team Register, 13 Dec 2014
Medal of Honour

Speaking in Tech: Sony breach proves you can NEVER defend perimeter

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Without further delay, here's another episode of El Reg's tech podcast, wherein the question is posed: "It's 3am! Do you really want to upload that picture?" Join your host Greg Knieriemen and guest Adrian DeLuca, APAC CTO of HDS to chew the fat on the Sony data hack; …
Team Register, 11 Dec 2014
Fountain pen

You don't have to be a genius to tap into Albert Einstein's BRAIN

Thousands of papers containing the musings and correspondence of physics megaboffin Albert Einstein have been published online by Princeton University. The collection containing 13 volumes, dubbed The Digital Einstein Papers, was made available on Friday. It covers Einstein's writings from his youth to 1923. A trove of archives …
Team Register, 06 Dec 2014
Android 5.0 "Lollipop"

Speaking in Tech: Android 5.0 Lollipop is a TRAIN WRECK

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's an info-packed episode of El Reg's techcast today, with regular hosts Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela joined by ex-VMware bod special guest Dr John Troyer of Ed Saipetch is away this week, but the week in tech still receives a thorough going-over... …
Team Register, 03 Dec 2014

Star Wars: Episode VII trailer lands. You call that a lightsaber? THIS is a lightsaber

Vid Star Wars' fans have been treated to their first glimpse of episode seven of the movie franchise, after a trailer for The Force Awakens, directed by J.J. Abrams, was released on Friday. Youtube Video Opinions about the film's teaser have been mixed, with the latest lightsaber design being poorly received by some netizens. …
Team Register, 30 Nov 2014

Holy sh*t! Amsterdam man in pop-up public toilet shock horror

RoTM A man in Amsterdam suffered minor injuries last night after a toilet emerging from the ground flipped a moped into the air, which then struck the victim. UriLift loos were installed in the wacky baccy Dutch city in an effort to stop blokes taking a slash in the streets. As this vid shows, the toilets appear to rise up from the …
Team Register, 29 Nov 2014

It's BLOCK FRIDAY: Britain in GREED-crazed bargain bonanza mob frenzy riot MELTDOWN

The sceptred isle of old Blighty is in flames today as greed crazed mobs, both online and in the real world, stormed bricks'n'mortar shops and etail websites alike leaving blood on the linoleum and smoke belching from overstressed data centres – hosting Currys, Tesco and other box-flingers – up and down the land. Truly, these …
Team Register, 28 Nov 2014
Fawlty Towers

Customers RAGE after Webfusion goes TITSUP

Venerable hosting firm Webfusion UK is experiencing a crippling outage which has hobbled web services across the country. At 15 years old, Webfusion is one of the UK's premier server hosts. Its website collapsed earlier today, although it is now back up, and customers said they were unable to get through to technical support on …
Team Register, 28 Nov 2014

Speaking in Tech: Is OpenStack really letting the SAN shine?

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's weekly tech podcast, stuffed with news and views on everything that's happened in our world this week. In this episode, regular host Greg Knieriemen heads a panel discussion at the OpenStack Summit in Paris earlier this month. The panel …
Team Register, 26 Nov 2014
Google and Microsoft

Frisky patent WAR: Samsung seeks to BLOCK Nvidia graphics chips from US market

Samsung Electronics's battle with chip maker Nvidia deepened on Friday, after the South Korean outfit filed a complaint with the US International Trade Commission. It wants the regulator to block Nvidia from touting its graphics chips on the US market. As spotted by Bloomberg, the USITC's website showed that Sammy's gripe had …
Team Register, 23 Nov 2014
big droplets falling from rain cloud

Microsoft's Azure goes TITSUP PLANET-WIDE AGAIN in cloud FAIL

Microsoft suffered a major outage on its cloud service Azure overnight. It went titsup just before 1am UK time, and services are only now slowly returning to normal. Microsoft confessed that multiple regions were affected by the "service interruption". Customers around the world using Azure storage, virtual machines, a number …
Team Register, 19 Nov 2014

Speaking in Tech: Go on, call us LEGACY! We solved your little startup problems 15 YEARS ago

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week, Speaking in Tech regulars Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela have fled for Dell World, which leaves Greg Knieriemen running the show. Greg is holed up in Paris with special guests Mark Twomey, aka Storagezilla, technical director at EMC, and Francois Zimmerman, HDS chief …
Team Register, 19 Nov 2014