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Doctors Who

Gold meddler: Doctor Who is 50 years old TODAY

Doctor Who, the longest running sci-fi show on telly, is 50 years old TODAY. The very first episode was broadcast just after a quarter past five on 23 November, 1963 - years before a fair few Reg readers were thought of let alone thrust a-wailing into the world. It hasn’t been a continuous run. What fans now call the Classic …
Team Register, 23 Nov 2013

BRAGGIE-GASM: Rotund DOTCOM copies MILEY CYRUS on XBOX DAY!

Do you regularly trawl through Facebook only to find an acquaintance of yours posing in a photo where he's sunning himself on holiday, sipping cocktails and pawing at women in skimpy bikinis? Do you add a comment to said snap calling your chum a "jammy git"? If so, you're responding to a freshly coined phenomenon: the "Braggie …
Team Register, 22 Nov 2013

The latest stupid yoof craze: Taking selfies - while DRIVING

What could be more stupid than spending your days taking pictures of yourself? Snapping a selfie whilst speeding along the motorway, which is apparently becoming a thing. There are 3,727 pictures on Instagram which use the #drivingselfie hashtag and almost 1,900 using #drivingselfies. Underneath some of these pictures is written …
Team Register, 22 Nov 2013
Xbox One and controller

XBOX ONE ROUNDUP-of-the-ROUNDUPS: Everything YOU need to know

Microsoft’s Xbox One: it's a console so BIG, one games website found it needed five writers to tackle it. And the reviews are big too: waffletastic screeds of such length you wonder how few folk will read ‘em through and not simply scroll to the end for the reader comments. And that's before the thing goes on sale this Friday. …
Team Register, 20 Nov 2013
OpenStack's "Dope 'N Stack" campaign

Speaking in Tech: Enterprise bods are hungry for open source

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's weekly Wednesday tech podcast, hosted by Ed Saipetch, Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela. This week the whole gang is together with special guest Joseph B George, director of cloud and big data solutions at Dell. Joseph talks about his work at …
Team Register, 20 Nov 2013
Azure icon

What we learned at our Windows Azure Regcast

On 10 October QA’s Matt Bishop became the latest and the bravest techie to enter El Reg studio for a hands-on session. Bravely ignoring advice never to work on stage with children or real-time internet feeds he did both, sitting alongside the Reg’s Tim Phillips for an hour of breakneck live Windows Azure configuration. Why, …
Team Register, 14 Nov 2013

Speaking in Tech: Hey next-airline-seat neighbour... stop yakking and go fondle your slab

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela, it's another epirsode of El Reg's tech podcast, Speaking in Tech. This week the whole gang is together and touches on the lighter side of tech. This week we discuss: Eddie, Greg and Sarah catch up Sarah's confession …
Team Register, 13 Nov 2013

Twitter declares war on Storify, whips out custom curated timelines

Twitter is introducing custom timelines - its first significant new service since the micro-blogging site floated on Wall Street last week. It means that anyone can set up their own timeline containing tweets from a choice of sources they may want to publicly share about a particular event. Twitter said: Share the best Tweets …
Team Register, 13 Nov 2013

New Retina iPad Mini not sold out HOURS after launch - world REELS

Analysts worldwide are increasingly dumfounded today as it appears that the new Retina iPad Mini from Apple has not, according to Apple's online stores, sold out within hours of becoming available. As this article is written the UK Apple Store website still shows all models of Retina Mini available for delivery within just days …
Team Register, 12 Nov 2013
Google Chocolate Factory

Google makes Gmail EVEN NOISIER, or should that be nosier?

Google has added more intrusive buttons to its email service as it continues to try to spread its ad goo across its vast online estate. Mountain View débuted its so-called quick action buttons in May this year to allow Gmail users to respond to certain types of messages without having to open them first. It meant that Gmailers …
Team Register, 12 Nov 2013
iPad mini with Retina display

HUMANITY STUNNED - Apple Retina iPad Mini arrives. A solemn moment

OMFG! It's true! All the signs and portents have borne fruit. After the ritual disembowelling of an Apple support tool, auguries foretold that on this day a new iPad should come forth, and lo, the Apple stores verily did shut down. Then as the day dawned, behold, even such an iPad did appear. It is the Retina iPad Mini, which - …
Team Register, 12 Nov 2013
Star Wars: The Complete Saga

Does 'Star Wars' casting call hint at DEATH of LUKE SKYWALKER?

An open casting call for "lead roles in a Disney film" is rumoured to be the search for unknowns to lead the new Star Wars movies. Star Wars: The Complete Saga Disney is holding open auditions for an unnamed film in the UK and Ireland over the next couple of weeks looking for a male and female lead, according to @UKopencall …
Team Register, 07 Nov 2013

Speaking in Tech: Cisco buys out Insieme. To UNCLOAK data centre tech, just press PLAY

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week's podcast brings you piping hot enterprise news. Your hosts Greg Knieriemen and Ed Saipetch – Sarah Vela is out this week – got the scoop on Cisco's new "spin-in" Insieme straight from the horse's mouth when they chatted to Cisco's Amy Lewis and Insieme's Joe …
Team Register, 06 Nov 2013

Unsung DEAD WHALE EXPLODER hero, who gave the early internet a purpose, passes away

The internet is mourning the sad death of George Thomas Thornton, the man who gained immortal fame for blowing up a dead whale on TV and so created what was probably the first truly viral video. The video of the infamous exploding whale. Thornton became famous when a video showing his rather ill-advised decision to get rid of a …
Team Register, 05 Nov 2013

Facebook fans fuel FAGGOT FURY firestorm

Britain's humble and frankly disgusting offal-based meatball – the faggot – led to one man being temporarily chucked off Facebook, after Americans became outraged by what they believed to be blatant gay-hating behaviour on the free content ad network. The sorry tale started, according to the Sun newspaper, when 54-year-old …
Team Register, 04 Nov 2013
anonymous logo

Off your bikie laws: Anonymous to Queensland Premier Newman

Queensland's police force is investigating the posting of an Anonymous-identified video to YouTube protesting the state's anti-bikie laws, and also the publication of premier Campbell Newman's private mobile number and home address online. The government describes the laws as serving the purpose of dismantling outlaw motorcycle …
Team Register, 04 Nov 2013
Artist's impression of the GOCE spacecraft in orbit

Fiery bits of Euro satellite to rain down on Earth this weekend

Europe's GOCE satellite is due to come tumbling out of the sky to crash-land on Earth sometime next week – and nobody quite knows where it will land. The Gravity field and steady-state Ocean Circulation Explorer (GOCE) has stayed in its low Earth orbit for an extra two-and-a-half years on its planned mission, but came to the end …
Team Register, 01 Nov 2013
A picture of a cat.

'It seems that the OSes and devices are based on the Devil'

This was the week when Dell received a flood of complaints about the fact that its Latitude 6430u Ultrabook literally stinks. The whiffy laptops were shipped out to users smelling distinctly of feline urine. Owners took to Dell's support forums to start complaining: So a few weeks ago I got a new Lattitude 6430u for work. The …
Team Register, 01 Nov 2013
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

The Colosseum, Hagia Sophia, Tower of London... and, er, Steve Jobs' GARAGE

The house where Steve Jobs built his first computers has been added to a list of historic buildings in Los Altos. The Los Altos Historical Commission voted unanimously to add the home at 2066 Crist Drive as a historic resources, since its hallowed garage was where Jobs made his first computers and co-founded Apple, the San Jose …
Team Register, 31 Oct 2013
Vaughn Stewart of Pure Storage

Speaking in Tech: 'Pure Storage is defined by... Vaughn Stewart's hairdo'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Eddie is wining and dining while Sarah and Greg hold court with Mark Twomey of EMC, better known as StorageZilla. Mark Twomey's dulcet Irish tones brighten your Wednesday as the team shoot the breeze about …
Team Register, 30 Oct 2013
First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs

DEAD STEVE JOBS chap becomes ENGINEER ... at Lenovo

Lenovo has joined the likes of BlackBerry, Intel and Polaroid in hiring a celebrity to have creative input on its new products, bagging Steve Jobs-affiliated Ashton Kutcher for the position of "product engineer". First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs Ashton Kutcher pretending to be Steve Jobs Whether Kutcher, who …
Team Register, 30 Oct 2013
Google Self Driving Car

ROBOT PODS to INVADE Milton Keynes in frenzied automatic MAYHEM

Milton Keynes will play host to a fleet of smartphone-controlled driverless pods powered by electric motors and gunning around the town at 12mph. A hundred of the wee pods, which will only have enough space for two passengers and some luggage, will start rolling around the blocky Midlands town in 2015, whizzing between the …
Team Register, 29 Oct 2013
London BMW 5-Series police car

Brit bloke busted over backdoor blagging of US troops' data

A 28-year-old British man has been charged with the alleged hacking of thousands of computer systems in the US and other countries, a New Jersey attorney said today. Lauri Love of Stradishall, England, stands accused of one count of accessing a US department or agency computer without permission and one count of conspiracy. …
Team Register, 28 Oct 2013

LinkedIn: Obviously biz people DON'T use MS Exchange servers. REALLY?

LinkedIn has publicly spurned Microsoft by creating a new email-contact-identification app on Apple's iPhone which doesn't integrate with Redmond's Exchange email software. The company's mobile application - dubbed Intro - was debuted by LinkedIn on Wednesday, as it shrugged off reports of an hour-long outage with its service. …
Team Register, 24 Oct 2013
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 3D

Speaking in Tech: Ah, developers. Or should we say DARK KINGPINS of the TECH underworld?

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week in Speaking in Tech, your host Eddie Saipetch is flying solo while Greg Knieriemen does real work and Sarah Vela is under the weather. Eddie's special guest is Val Bercovici, big data and cloud czar at NetApp. They chat about the growing influence of devs in the …
Team Register, 23 Oct 2013
coffee cappuchino starbucks latte mocha

Speaking in Tech: 'People are gonna vote for BlackBerry just to mess with me'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week in Speaking in Tech, your hosts Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela hold down the fort while Eddie Saipetch parties in Barcelona. They chat about Oracle's white paper, drinking culture in the UK vs the US, VMWare's shock acquisition of Desktone, and whether the WinPhone …
Team Register, 16 Oct 2013
Assange

Assange: 'Ecuadorian embassy staff are like my family'

Julian Assange has said that the folks at the Ecuadorian embassy in London he currently calls home are like a family to him and he gets lots of visits from very silly people celebrity supporters. You know the old saying: you can choose your friends but clearly you can't choose which types your embassy will offer safe harbour to …
Team Register, 15 Oct 2013
WikiLeaks logo

Wikileaks FAILS to start Twitter bitchfight with Guardian hack

Wikileaks is engaged in a Twitter spat with Guardian journalist Glenn Greenwald, accusing him of profiting from NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden's leaks to the paper. Greenwald is planning a book on Snowden, the former NSA worker who leaked documents from the agency to newspaper and other outlets. There is also talk of a movie …
Team Register, 14 Oct 2013

Twitter-mad twits trade 14 million shares in BANKRUPT zombie biz

US regulators have had to change the stock symbol of bankrupt electronics firm Tweeter after some overexcited investors mistook the shares for soon-to-IPO microblogging website Twitter's stocks, sending them surging by 750 per cent. The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority assigned Tweeter Home Entertainment Group the new …
Team Register, 10 Oct 2013

Too busy tweeting to turn over TV channels? AT LAST a solution

Are you a "second screen" telly aficionado? Do you lie on the sofa mainly occupied in watching out for hilarious apophthegms on Twitter, subliminally irritated by the drivel on the big screen and wishing there was something decent on - but too distracted even to channel surf, let alone use the EPG or similar? Help of a sort is …
Team Register, 10 Oct 2013

Speaking in Tech: Stop ogling my Google Glass, my eyes are up here

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's weekly enterprise tech podcast, hosted by Ed Saipetch, Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela. Ed and Greg are in the driving seat as Sarah's off celebrating a birthday. Fortunately, Cisco's Amy Lewis joins as our special guest this week... This week …
Team Register, 09 Oct 2013
Going through the airport perv scanner

Police constable 1337 stunned by Lego lookalike

It's not every day that the Venn diagram covering law enforcement, tiny figurines and internet jargon crosses over, but today is such a day. Reports have it that a police constable whose official number is 1337 has been gobsmacked to find that Lego have brought out a tiny plastic plod who not only has the same number - he is …
Team Register, 07 Oct 2013
three amigos movie poster + three speaking in tech podcast hosts: Greg Kniereman, Sarah Vela, Ed Saiptech

Speaking in Tech: That EMC hypegasm? Ed and Greg grill a senior veep

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Sarah is away, so it's just Ed and Greg with special guest Chad Sakac, senior vice-president for Global Presales Technical Resources at EMC. Want a quick roundup of what everyone in the storage, enterprise and …
Team Register, 04 Oct 2013

Flutter-BYE, we're all Google now: Ad giant slurps gesture-tastic app-maker

Google has bought gesture recognition startup Flutter for an undisclosed sum. The machine vision technology outfit was co-founded by San Francisco-based Navneet Dalal and Mehul Nariyawala three years ago. CEO Dalal announced that Google had scooped up their firm, which specialises in controlling apps such as Apple's iTunes with …
Team Register, 03 Oct 2013
Court gavel

Ex-Sun journalist charged with handling a stolen mobile phone

An ex-Sun journalist has been charged with a computer hacking offence and also faces a second charge relating to the alleged handling of a stolen mobile phone. Ben Ashford, 34, had worked on Rupert Murdoch's tabloid newspaper, which is published by News International (since rebranded as News UK), for four years from 2006. "The …
Team Register, 01 Oct 2013

Google: Thanks for the billions in revenue, UK. Here are your taxes, that's ... £11m

Google paid Britain £11.2m in corporation tax in 2012, the company confirmed today. That's slightly more than the £7.3m the ad giant coughed up in 2011. But the latest figure, confirmed by Google to The Register this afternoon, will no doubt enrage the search king's critics - including Labour MP and Parliament's Public Accounts …
Team Register, 30 Sep 2013
Steve Bowen outside the ISS on the STS-126 fourth and final spacewalk. Pic: NASA

Fresh shift of 'nauts arrives at Space Station, planning torch jaunt

Astronauts and cosmonauts from Russia and the US had a fuss-free journey to the International Space Station, where they have just arrived for a five-and-a-half-month stint working and living on the hurtling lab. Oleg Kotov, Mike Hopkins and Sergey Ryazanskiy took just under six hours from lift-off from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in …
Team Register, 26 Sep 2013

'Bet Lynch' types BANNED from zoo for upsetting not-so-wildlife

A UK zoo has enforced an animal print ban, after visitors clad in tiger-like attire were found to be confusing and upsetting its captive creatures. Zebra, giraffe, leopard, cheetah and tiger are reportedly among the prints to have been outlawed by Chessington World of Adventures in Surrey. The zoo has hired people to police the …
Team Register, 26 Sep 2013
wall_street

Chinese tat bazaar Alibaba snubs Honkers, eyes up Wall St float

Chinese web marketplace Alibaba reportedly looks set to field its initial public offering in the US after it failed to secure a stock exchange listing in Hong Kong. The online-shopping powerhouse, which is headed up by Jack Ma, could float on Wall Street early next year with a price tag valued at $70bn, the Wall Street Journal …
Team Register, 25 Sep 2013
three amigos movie poster + three speaking in tech podcast hosts: Greg Kniereman, Sarah Vela, Ed Saiptech

Speaking in Tech: 'Why are you talking on your iPad Mini?'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Not even customers like NASA and National Geographic can guarantee your safety as a cloudy storage biz. This week in Speaking in Tech, your hosts Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela, the three amigos of El Reg's tech-cast, talk about Nirvanix's shock implosion; …
Team Register, 25 Sep 2013
Cygnus spacecraft

Space truck Cygnus left idling outside ISS after data format snafu borks docking

The operators of Cygnus – a commercial unmanned spacecraft sent on a demonstration mission to the International Space Station – have been forced to delay its docking with the microgravity laboratory after they discovered a software glitch. It means that Cygnus won't dock with the ISS until Saturday, 28 September, at the earliest …
Team Register, 24 Sep 2013

Just how flash is your enterprise storage rig?

Enterprise storage is really important. Flash is the hot new storage technology. So surely the use of flash in enterprise storage infrastructures is the hottest, most important issue of the moment? Well, that’s where we’d like you to help us out. We’ve put together a mini-poll to help us gauge just how much attention Reg readers …
Team Register, 18 Sep 2013

Gorillas, StorageBeers, sexy flash models: It's all here in Speaking in Tech

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's podcast, bringing you news, views, and rumours about enterprise kit, hot flash models (the enterprise kind, don't be a perve), consumer baubles, hip-hop gorilla memes, next week's StorageBeers (at London's Lamb and Flag pub from about 17:30 …
Team Register, 18 Sep 2013
Miley Cyrus twerking

Twerking 'ell! Google BUMPs and grinds way to another app slurp

Google has bought mobile app maker Bump – the outfit behind photo-sharing tech Flock – for an undisclosed sum. A number of reports have said that the acquisition price tag was anything between $30m and $60m, but Google has not confirmed the figure. Bump CEO David Lieb, who co-founded the company in 2008, said in a blog post: …
Team Register, 17 Sep 2013

Speaking in Tech: 'I'm not a pimp just because I wear a fedora'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's weekly Wednesday tech news cast, giving you the run-down on everything worth knowing about in the enterprise and consumer tech world this week. This week, co-hosts Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela are slacking off while Ed Saipetch flies solo …
Team Register, 11 Sep 2013
Bletchley Park

Google backs gallery of computer-crazed female boffinry at Bletchley Park

Google UK has sponsored a new gallery celebrating the achievements of women in computing at The National Museum of Computing (TNMOC) in Bletchley Park. Women in Computing Gallery at The National Museum of Computing The new exhibition opened as part of a "Google-inspired Heroines of Computing" event, according to TNMOC*. The …
Team Register, 10 Sep 2013
Two teenage girls - one whispering in other's ear

Phone-blab plod breaks PRIVACY law after crash victim's 5hr ditch ordeal

A Norfolk police official broke a privacy law after blurting out "sensitive information" to the relative of a 54-year-old bloke – who had been seriously hurt in a car crash and left unnoticed in a ditch for five hours. The Independent Police Complaints Commission today said that one of the force's control room operators had …
Team Register, 06 Sep 2013

Speaking in Tech: Stay a virgin at VMworld – wear a rubber unicorn head

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week, your Speaking In Tech podcast hosts Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela are dropping it live from VMworld with special guests Stephen Spellicy, senior director product management and enterprise data protection at HP and Bryan Beal, director at cloud and …
Team Register, 04 Sep 2013
Photo by Max Braun https://plus.google.com/117367546931116283373/posts/UxMLqfWWrLw shared publicly on Google+

Billionaire Google founder splits with wife, allegedly beds Google Glass minx

Google Glass marketing manager and "real woman" Amanda Rosenberg, 26, is reportedly Google co-founder Sergey Brin's new squeeze. The billionaire super-geek has split from his wife of six years - and is now apparently enjoying a cosy relationship with his techno-goggles-touting colleague. All Things Digital revealed that Brin …
Team Register, 30 Aug 2013

Speaking in Tech: Hitachi Data Systems veep on 'software defined silliness'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise For this week's podcast, your host Ed Saipetch is in the driving seat – with co-hosts Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela riding in the back. The whole gang is together in San Francisco at VMworld with special guest Michael Hay, vice president and chief engineer at Hitachi Data …
Team Register, 28 Aug 2013