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three amigos movie poster + three speaking in tech podcast hosts: Greg Kniereman, Sarah Vela, Ed Saiptech

Speaking in Tech: Microsoft DOES have a stake in Android, y'know

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of El Reg's weekly tech-cast, and the three amigos – Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela – are back together again to wreck this week in tech. This week we discuss... Return of Eddie (and turtle sex) (:45) Pebble death (4:40) Apple and IBM tap …
Team Register, 23 Jul 2014
Air pollution in Harbin, Heilongjiang province, northeastern China, in October 2013

It's FONDLEMANIA: Mobile devices outstrip PCs on China's internet

Mobile devices have edged out PCs when it comes to Chinese online browsing, an official government agency in the People's Republic said on Monday. For the first time more Chinese folk are plugging into the internet using phones or tablets, the China Internet Network Information Center (CNNIC) said (PDF in Chinese), according to …
Team Register, 21 Jul 2014
LG G Smartwatch running Android Wear

Speaking in Tech: How I was outsmarted by my LG smartwatch

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week on Speaking in Tech, there's something for everyone: from smartwatches and big data to "hacker princesses" and that good old storage medium, tape – and we're not talking about the kind you find in a data centre. Join your hosts Greg Knieriemen and Sarah Vela – Ed …
Team Register, 16 Jul 2014

YES: Scotland declares independence ... from the dot co dot uk empire

Scotland has shaken off the shackles of its English oppressors by ditching the vicious Sassenach web address system – and replacing it with a homegrown one. Anyone living in the People's Republic of Salmond can now manually secede from their Tory overlords in Westminster by choosing a new .scot suffix. Previously, the coddled …
Team Register, 15 Jul 2014

'Big Internet' wades into 'net neutrality' battle with the FCC

Major internet companies have submitted their comments to the US Federal Communications Commission's consultation on new rules for internet discrimination and pricing – the so-called "net neutrality" consultation. The Internet Association – which lobbies on behalf of Google, Amazon, Facebook and others including Reddit – said in …
Team Register, 14 Jul 2014

I've got 99 problems, but a Facebook boycott ain't one

A marketing campaign to convince Facebookers to quit the social network for 99 days has failed to thrill – even though many netizens expressed outrage at the website's recent, highly questionable emotion-furtling study. It turns out that Facebook is more addictive than an electronic crack pipe, if the response to a bunch of …
Team Register, 11 Jul 2014
Google Chocolate Factory

Speaking in Tech: 'Right to be forgotten' ruling – what would Google do?

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Ed is out so it's just Sarah and Greg stirring up the week's tech news. This week we discuss… Revving through San Jose (1:00) Sarah's 4th (3:35) Box gets more money (4:50) Public vs Private cloud for file …
Team Register, 09 Jul 2014
Street View spymobile captures Street View spymobile on Street View

Brit celebs' homes VANISH from Google's Street View

Google is scrubbing out the homes of Blighty's rich and famous from its nosey Street View site. It has been reported that the likes of former Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair, former Beatle Paul McCartney and Led Zeppelin axeman Jimmy Page have had their houses blurred on the mapping service. Popstar Lily Allen and former RBS …
Team Register, 07 Jul 2014
BBC logo 2012

ICO probes BBC after secret British army unit's info LEAKED

A BBC Panorama researcher who leaked confidential material from the programme's production company to the target of an investigation allegedly also leaked highly sensitive data about a secret British army unit. According to a report in the Independent, the UK's privacy regulator has been notified of what appears to be a serious …
Team Register, 03 Jul 2014

Speaking in Tech: 'Software-defined' anything makes me BARF in my MOUTH

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Ed is out so it's just Sarah and Greg celebrating Canada Day with special guest (and proud Canadian) Chad Sakac, senior veep for Global Presales Technical Resources at EMC. This week we discuss… Greg, Sarah …
Team Register, 02 Jul 2014
turbine

Deja-vu alert: Russian hackers target US, Euro energy giants

You may be wondering where our coverage is on the "Dragonfly" malware used by mystery Russia-based hackers to target European and US-based energy companies. This is big in the news just now, following a recent announcement by security firm Symantec. But in fact it had previously been discussed - getting rather less take up - by …
Team Register, 01 Jul 2014
Angry-looking cat. Pic by  Guyon Morée from Beverwijk, Netherlands. licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license

True fact: Your CAT wees ... like a racehorse

Racehorses have long been noted for the prodigious length of their - wait for it - toilet breaks. Yet boffins have claimed that all animals actually wee for the same amount of time, demolishing equines' much-vaunted status as the greatest urinators on Planet Earth. Researchers measured dozens of species to find that all animals …
Team Register, 30 Jun 2014
The LDSD at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Pic: NASA/JPL

NASA pulls FLYING SAUCER out of Pacific ocean

NASA has successfully test-flown its “flying saucer” – the Low-Density Supersonic Decelerator (LDSD) – after weather conditions permitted the trial on Saturday. The LDSD is a concept lander design for future flights to Mars. The craft works by inflating a “Supersonic Inflatable Aerodynamic Decelerator” (SIAD), which NASA …
Team Register, 29 Jun 2014

Today in IT news: iPad Fleshlight a reality

From frightening-looking prototype to reality: Fleshlight has at last, er, released its iPad faux-rifice. According to its blurb, the coyly named LaunchPAD offers a "whole new perspective on masturbation..." "Annual tablet sales are now surpassing the number of PC sales with an estimated 70 million iPads being sold across the …
Team Register, 27 Jun 2014

DOH! Google’s internet of things vision is powered by… Mac OS

Few companies have as all encompassing a vision as our friends at Google. From handsets and cloud apps, to airships via, ad sales and Chromebooks, this is the company that reckons anything you can do, it can do better. Or at least do with an ad on it. No, there’s nothing fruity about our vision of the future Is that a MacBook …
Team Register, 26 Jun 2014

Creepy battery-operated TEDDY BEAR SEX TOY. Sadly, this is for real

What do you buy the woman that has everything? Something else, we would advise, and certainly not the latest cuddly sex toy hoping to find a place in the hearts (and between the legs) of women everywhere. Teddy Love is a "bear that will love you forever", or least until its AA batteries run out. It offers the sort of love …
Team Register, 26 Jun 2014
Dell chairman and CEO, Michael Dell

Speaking in Tech: Nutanix OEM deal may be Dell's first step towards a BUYOUT

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's time for Speaking in Tech again, folks! This week the team chew the fat over Dell's OEM deal with Nutanix, Google and Nest's alarming hookup, and the painful process of explaining the cloud to real humans. This week regular SiT host Sarah Vela is off but Eddie Saipetch …
Team Register, 25 Jun 2014
Old Bailey Lady Justice

Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

Andy Coulson, the ex-News of the World editor and erstwhile spin doctor to Prime Minister David Cameron, has been found guilty at the Old Bailey in London of conspiring to hack phones. Former News International boss Rebekah Brooks was cleared on all counts of hacking into voicemails, bribery and perverting the course of justice …
Team Register, 24 Jun 2014
register logo

Is storage a security issue? Or is security a storage issue?

If you’re struggling to reconcile the demands of ramping up storage while keeping the data secure, AND ensuring application availability, you’re not alone. At least you won’t be this afternoon, because we’ll be running a Live Chat at 1400 BST, where we will talk through the technology and the challenges, and ask what it all …
Team Register, 20 Jun 2014

Speaking in Tech: Electronic data and the law – how compelling is an email as proof?

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week El Reg's Speaking in Tech techcast takes place in the growing economic powerhouse of the Asia Pacific region. Your host Greg Knieriemen is in Singapore with special guests Adrian De Luca, Asia Pacific chief technology officer for HDS, and Michael "Heff" Heffernan, …
Team Register, 18 Jun 2014

WORLD CUP SHOCK: England declared winner in 2-1 defeat to Italy

Spud-faced footie ace Wayne Rooney may not face the chop – after England was declared the WINNER in its World Cup opening match against Italy. The quick-tempered, woodwork-bothering Liverpudlian's fate was said to be hanging in the balance after the Italians scored two goals to England's one on Saturday night. Even though he …
Team Register, 17 Jun 2014

Want to tell the world how IT really works? Tell us first

When it comes to working out how enterprise IT really works, who do you speak to first? Easy. Reg readers. That’s why we’ll be holding the first of a series of live Register events for senior IT decision-maker readers on July 8. We will be meeting at the Soho Hotel in central London, and our question for the day will be: Does …
Team Register, 16 Jun 2014

Speaking in Tech: LIVE from San Francisco's Cloud Foundry Summit

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Eddie Saipetch hosts the weekly techcast this week, where he and his guests discuss bro culture, public cloud's hidden costs and the eternal Cloud Foundry vs Openstack debate. Joining him are special guests Jesse Proudman, CTO and founder of Bluebox; Caroline McCrory, senior …
Team Register, 11 Jun 2014
texting while driving

Mobe-orists, beware: Stroking while driving could land you a £4k fine

Drivers who stupidly use their mobile phones while barrelling along Britain's roads could be hit with much bigger fines if measures unveiled today by the government come into force. The Ministry of Justice wants tougher financial penalties to clamp down on criminals who flout the rules: for example, motorists who use their …
Team Register, 10 Jun 2014

Stephen Fry MADNESS: 'New domain names GENERATE NEW IP NUMBERS'

Autocue extraordinaire Stephen Fry has cheerily claimed new domain registrations "generate new IP numbers which so far show no sign of giving out". He blogged the explanation while celebrating being the first person in Blighty to sign up for a .uk domain. Dot-UK registry Nominet has not challenged Fry's latest boob, even though …
Team Register, 10 Jun 2014
Measuring up Apple

You'll never believe it: Apple stock is going for CHEAP

Frantic fanboi investors might be freaking out today as Apple stocks appear to have lost 85 per cent of their value over the weekend, with the price dropping from around $645 to an opening price of $92.22. But fear not, Apple lovers. The apparent plummet is just a bit of share shuffling to try to reignite investor interest in …
Team Register, 09 Jun 2014

Speaking in Tech: Unix beards, coders in hoodies - we're live at HDS Summit

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Our regular podcast was recorded live this week at the HDS Influencers Summit, where host Greg Knieriemen has a panel chock-full of those very people – including at least one person who appears to have been in hiding over the past few months... But after emerging in Moscow …
Team Register, 04 Jun 2014
The Soyuz TMA-13M rocket is launched, as seen in this 30-second exposure at the Baikonur Cosmodrome. Credit:  NASA/Joel Kowsky

Welcome to the ISS. Don't mention Ukraine if you ever want to leave

Three astronauts, including two space newbies, were blasted off to the International Space Station last night aboard a Soyuz rocket from Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan. European Space Agency astronaut Alexander Gerst and NASA ‘naut Reid Wiseman, who were on their first trips into space, and Russian cosmonaut Max Suraev were …
Team Register, 29 May 2014
Pebble Steel

Speaking in Tech: Did our podcast lift Red Hat shares? Stranger things have happened

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, the whole crew is together again to wreck more tech – and after last week's episode apparently inflated Red Hat's share price by 40 cents, we wonder what, er, earthquakes are about to hit today. From scotch …
Team Register, 28 May 2014
Somali pirates storm the box

ARG! A GHOST SHIP! Pirates sunk by UK cops return from watery grave

One of the world's largest BitTorrent search engines is back online after British cops successfully – but temporarily – managed to get the domain name Torrentz.eu switched off. The website's registrar, based in Poland, had agreed to suspend the domain name following a written warning from Blighty's Police Intellectual Property …
Team Register, 27 May 2014

Are you senior enough to sit around a table with The Register?

You’ve filled in the polls, posted the comments – now we want to meet you in person to chew over the most important IT issues of the day. The day in question is 8 July, when we’ll be holding the first of a series of live Register events for our senior IT decision-maker readers. We will be meeting at the Soho Hotel in central …
Team Register, 21 May 2014

Speaking in Tech: About that rumour of Cisco BUYING Red Hat...

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week is a special episode from Cisco Live in San Francisco. Our usual top-notch team are all back this week, along with two Cisco bigwigs ready to talk everything from OpenStack and Cisco ACI to the finer points of running a cat blog. Yes, really. Podcast host Greg …
Team Register, 21 May 2014
<i>Star Wars</i> clapboard on the first day of shooting

Internet rejoices over Star Wars, um, clapboard pic

Production company Bad Robot has tweeted the very first picture from the set of the new Star Wars movie, which may or may not be called Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear. <i>Star Wars</i> clapboard on the first day of shooting The picture doesn’t give much away about the movie, in fact, it tells folks absolutely nothing …
Team Register, 16 May 2014
Openstack log

Speaking in Tech: Battle of the OpenStack boffins – LIVE from the summit

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week we have a special episode of our weekly Speaking in Tech techcast recorded live at The OpenStack Summit in Atlanta. If you're in the storage biz, you'll definitely want to plug in for this. Podcaster Greg Knieriemen hosted a lively panel discussion titled "Ask the …
Team Register, 14 May 2014
Typewriter keys

Microsoft TechEd 2014 keynote, Q&A liveblog: What went down in TX

Reg correspondent Adam Fowler has flown from Adelaide, Australia, to Houston, Texas, US, to bring you up-to-the-minute information from the TechEd 2014 North America keynote and Q&A. TechEd is Redmond's annual conference for programmers and other IT pros. Join us for the latest developments as they happen – the feed below should …
Team Register, 12 May 2014
Google Chocolate Factory

Google: Mmm. Tab-free Gmail desktop client? We won't DENY it

Google is working on a radical new redesign of the desktop version of its webmail service Gmail, it has been speculated. This comes after screenshots surfaced detailing various features Google is allegedly testing out. When quizzed about the gossip, Google declined to confirm or deny that a makeover was planned. A spokesperson …
Team Register, 12 May 2014

Speaking in Tech: 'I get told to wear makeup by other women'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Greg Knieriemen and Ed Saipetch are away, leaving podcast co-host Sarah Vela with a "hostile takeover" on her hands. Rocking the mic this week with Sarah are special guests Sarah Novotny, program chairwoman for OSCON and technical evangelist and community leader at NGINX; …
Team Register, 07 May 2014
Mark Zuckerberg

Iran brands Facebook boss Zuckerberg an 'American Zionist', bans WhatsApp

Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg, whose company recently bought WhatsApp for an eye-watering $19bn, has reportedly been described as an "American Zionist" in Iran. According to Israeli newspaper Haaretz - which cites news reports - the mobile messaging service has been banned in Iran by the secretary of the committee for …
Team Register, 06 May 2014
big brother is shopping for you

Twitter's got a new UK public policy wonk... 'You are the product' Big Brother Watch bloke!

Twitter has hired a well-known privacy campaigner to head up the UK wing of its public policy team. Big Brother Watch director Nick Pickles is moving over to what some might consider to be the dark side by taking such a job, having been a vocal critic of US tech companies' privacy practices in the past. In February 2012, for …
Team Register, 01 May 2014

Speaking in Tech: What do you MEAN, US court can demand OFFSHORE public cloud data?

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise If you haven't downloaded it before, now's the time to download El Reg's tech news podcast. Your hosts enterprise tech wise guy Greg Knieriemen and web2.0 playa Sarah Vela keep calm on the podcast with special guest, Caroline McCrory, senior director of product development …
Team Register, 30 Apr 2014

The Big Reg Storage Survey: Share your pain or tales of success

Storage is a major consumer of your IT budgets. It eats ever more of your working day, and it probably accounts for one or two working weekends – time you'd rather spend with your feet up or relaxing with a beer. We want to hear whether the storage platforms you use are getting easier to administer, or if your stress levels are …
Team Register, 30 Apr 2014

All men are part of a PURE GENETIC ELITE, says geno-science bloke

According to a new research from genetics gurus, the Y chromosome that all men carry is not at all hobbled by its missing bit. For those who don't know, men carry the XY chromosome pair, while women carry two X chromosomes. The bloke-osome is thought to have evolved from the X, with bits dropping off during 300 million years of …
Team Register, 25 Apr 2014
Sleeper

Speaking in Tech: Yes, yes. Storage, VMs, all very important. But what about beating jet lag?

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Welcome back to the Speaking in Tech podcast, hosted weekly by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week Sarah is away, but our special guest is Hans De Leenheer, a jobbing technical marketing adviser. This week we discuss... From Greg's bewildering experience …
Team Register, 23 Apr 2014
We were going to show a pic of Simon wearing it but thought you&#39;d prefer this on instead

Win gorgeous strap-on, enter whole new world with Reg compo

How well do you know 3D and Virtual Reality ... well enough to answer three simple questions? Dive in ... Your smartphone + strap-on headset = complete immersive experience Get them right and you go into a draw for one of five Durovis Dives, which turn your smartphone into a 3D headset. We loved the Dive when we reviewed it, …
Team Register, 17 Apr 2014

Speaking in Tech: Social media, big brands, smut. Never mix these three!

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, the whole crew is together to... er, get social. This week we discuss... Did you see THAT porn pic tweeted by US Airways a few days ago in response to an irate customer? If you didn't you might have been …
Team Register, 16 Apr 2014
Blood Moon

Live coverage: Blood Moon looms large for North, South America

The "blood moon" is showing its ruddy face on Tuesday, 15 April, and can best be viewed from North America or New Zealand – or in the live coverage streamed here, from the Slooh Observatory. Youtube Video Slooh's telescopes are positioned off the west coast of Africa in the Canary Islands, and started covering the lunar eclipse …
Team Register, 15 Apr 2014
Red Hat Shadowman logo

Speaking in Tech: Red Hat, Cisco sitting in a tree, m-e-r-g-i-n-g?

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's El Reg's tech news podcast with hosts Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, the whole crew is together with special guest Aaron Delp of SolidFire. This week we discuss… Eddie's roller coaster (0:55) Cloudcast and the Krispy Kreme Challenge (2:00) …
Team Register, 09 Apr 2014
Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre

Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Lego has changed, according to a Polish priest, who has warned that newer sets of the popular Danish toy are actually tools of Satan that can destroy children's souls. Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre The sweet yellow bricks of yesteryear are no more, apparently, now that Lego has started producing series of minifigs like …
Team Register, 03 Apr 2014

Speaking in Tech: Storage is FLEEING the public cloud in Asia

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Eddie the Prodigal Son returns with our special guest Michael Heffernan, Director of Infrastructure Technology for Asia Pacific at Hitachi Data Systems. This week we discuss… Return of Eddie (0:50) Catching …
Team Register, 02 Apr 2014

Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine

The Ukrainian Internet Party has announced that a man wearing the costume of the Dark Lord of the Sith is their chosen candidate for the country's presidential elections on 25 May. According to the Russia's Interfax news agency, the party was serious enough to stump up the whopping UAH 2.5 million (approx £132,000) registration …
Team Register, 02 Apr 2014