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Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos

Speaking in Tech: Amazon's Fire is being snuffed out

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week Sarah is out while Ed and Greg are joined by special guest Sam Johnston, director of cloud and IT Services at Equinix. Join us for a discussion on the joys of European air travel, Equinix's deal with Hitachi …
Team Register, 29 Oct 2014

Arrrr GOSH! Argos website goes titsup to make it EVEN BETTER

UK High Street retailer Argos, which recently made a big deal of sexing up its store, is suffering from a major online outage right now. The company coughed to the blunder just before midday by saying sorry to its customers. We’re sorry for problems you’re facing online this morning, we’re working to fix these as quick as we …
Team Register, 28 Oct 2014
HP CEO Meg Whitman

HP seeks to sell chunk of China networking biz: Report

HP is reportedly on the lookout for an Asian suitor to buy a majority of the company's stake in its China-based H3C Technologies. According to the Wall Street Journal, citing people familiar with the matter, HP is in tentative talks with private equity outfits in the People's Republic. The apparent move comes after HP confirmed …
Team Register, 26 Oct 2014
Space X Dragon in Orbit

Billionaire's pet DRAGON SPLASHES DOWN off Pacific Coast

The "Dragon" private space podule - which delivered cargo to the International Space Station - has returned to Earth five weeks after its mission began. SpaceX's Dragon capsule was expected to splash down in the Pacific Ocean, around 265 miles west of the Baja peninsula, within the next hour. ISS 'naut Reid Wiseman tweeted …
Team Register, 25 Oct 2014

CATACLYSMIC Sun BELCH causes hour-long RADIO BLACKOUT in SPAAACE

NASA boffins witnessed another major solar flare on the Sun on Friday - the fourth such activity in the past week erupting from the biggest sunspot in nearly 25 years. This particular flare was classified an X3.1, meaning it was pretty damn intense. The latest powerful burst erupted from a particularly large active region on …
Team Register, 25 Oct 2014
Samsung 840 EVO SSD

WIN a 1TB monster Samsung EVO 840 SSD

SSDs, doncha love ’em? Blisteringly fast and no mechanical parts but all too often you’re faced with a capacity compromise. Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that are worth over £300 apiece. Samsung 840 EVO SSD Samsung is …
Team Register, 24 Oct 2014

Speaking in Tech: Too fat for MARS!

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Join Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela, co-hosts of our weekly techcast, who are missing the party in Barcelona to bring you the piping hot news from the world of technology … First off, they discuss the hypothetical all-female Mars crew – who needs men when you have robots? …
Team Register, 23 Oct 2014

Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING

Climate change may be causing alpine goats to shrink in size, according to biologists at Durham University. Researchers analysed records of alpine animal sizes to discover that Chamois goats now weigh 25 per cent less than they did back in the '80s. Dr Tom Mason from the School of Biological and Biomedical Sciences at Durham …
Team Register, 23 Oct 2014

FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers

Fed-up FedEx customers in the UK were hit by an email storm yesterday, after a sad sap at the delivery company mistakenly hit the reply-all button on a daily alerts mailing list. Inevitably, it was then besieged by jokers, spammers and idiots replying with the request to be removed from the list. Reg reader, Nick, who flagged …
Team Register, 21 Oct 2014
Apple Watch

Microsoft to enter the STRUGGLE of the HUMAN WRIST

The battle for the future of the human wrist entered a new phase on Monday after it was claimed that tech goliath Microsoft is planning to release its own wearable computer in the coming weeks. If true, this would mean that Redmond's smartwatch would hit stores some way in advance of Apple's own wrist 'puter, which is expected …
Team Register, 20 Oct 2014
Sheep

STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants

A flock of sheep that are about to meet their maker at the abattoir got high on cannabis plants worth £4,000, after the drugs were ditched in a Surrey field. "My sheep weren't quite on their backs with legs in the air but they probably had the munchies," farm shop manager Nellie Budd told local rag the Surrey Mirror. "They …
Team Register, 20 Oct 2014

Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE

Primitive, lake-dwelling armoured fish "invented" internal fertilisation and copulation 385 million years ago in Scotland, a top palaeontologist has found. According to Professor John Long at Flinders University in Australia, the discovery is big news for the evolutionary history of sexual reproduction. Male fossils expertly …
Team Register, 19 Oct 2014
Tim Cook as Mr T

Slabba-dabba-GOLD! Apple kicks off presales of fingerprint-loving iPads

Fanbois can now pre-order Apple's iPad Air 2 and iPad Mini 3 online, after the company unveiled its latest fondleslabs on Thursday. Depending on the spec of the latest iPads, customers can expect to wait anything between two and six working days before the devices are shipped, according to the UK version of Apple's online store …
Team Register, 18 Oct 2014

The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event

It's just the most exciting sort of news there is: the Apple launch had the world a-jism all through yesterday UK time, before its entirely predictable events had even begun to unfold. Obviously it would be madness to simply wait until the announcement and then mention anything which was actually new in the form of a brief …
Team Register, 16 Oct 2014
An estate agent hands keys to a couple after house sale. Photo by Shutterstock

Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy

A down-under record has been achieved as an enterprising Australian seller has succeeded in obtaining no less than OZ$140k for a much-loved pussy. The feline in question, named "Tiffany", was apparently so desirable to the buyer of a $2m house on the Antipodean subcontinent that an extra $140k was added to the price on condition …
Team Register, 16 Oct 2014
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Speaking in Tech: Hey Satya. Have YOU relied on karma in YOUR career?

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of The Reg's best and only weekly podcast – with your hosts Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week it's just the three amigos stirring it up, discussing what seems to be trend in the industry towards corporate breakups and super-mergers …
Team Register, 15 Oct 2014
Qualcomm

Chipzilla of the mobile world Qualcomm wants to slurp Brit vendor CSR... for £1.6bn

UK Bluetooth specialist CSR looks set to wed Qualcomm Inc, after the mobile chip giant said it had agreed to buy the company for £1.6bn ($2.5bn). San Diego-based Qualcomm said that the acquisition would allow it to beef up the firm's Internet of Stuff and car entertainment businesses. The company's chief Steve Mollenkopf said …
Team Register, 15 Oct 2014
David and Goliath in the Valley of Elah

AndroidScript returns to Google Play Store: Ad giant YIELDS TO THE MIGHT OF EL REG

Hurrah! It woz the Reg wot won it ... An educational app used by thousands of young science, technology, engineering and maths students is set to be reinstated by Google, just one day after we revealed that it had been yanked without warning from the company's Play Store. Dave Smart, the creator behind AndroidScript, got in …
Team Register, 10 Oct 2014
Spam image

You can ring my #bellogate. EMAIL STORM hits 29,000 hapless UCL students

Sysadmins at the University College London (UCL) are battling an email storm after spam messages were sent to nearly 29,000 people on an all-student mailing list. The uni's IT director Mike Cope apologised for the blunder, which happened overnight. UCL students woke up to find spam messages clogging up their university email …
Team Register, 09 Oct 2014

Speaking in Tech: Startup funding – a little wine, dim lights, et voilà ... seed capital!

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week, Speaking in Tech regular Greg Knieriemen has fled the country, leaving the ever-capable Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela to host our weekly tech-cast. Today's episode was recorded at Spiceworld with special guests Scott Abel, co-founder and CEO of Spiceworks, and David …
Team Register, 08 Oct 2014

Steve Jobs makes world a better place FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Apple chief Tim Cook sent an email to staffers on Friday, in which he reminded them all of the greatness of Steve Jobs – who has been dead three years today. It comes after Google's executive chairman Eric Schmidt took a swipe at the fruity führer on Thursday for supposedly getting it wrong about the ad and search giant's …
Team Register, 05 Oct 2014

Air-slurping solar battery will slice energy costs – boffins

Scientists have cooked up a patent-pending hybrid device that combines a solar cell with a rechargeable battery for the very first time. The solar battery was invented by boffins at the Ohio State University, who used a titanium gauze permeable mesh solar panel, which they say was key to the success of the entire US department …
Team Register, 04 Oct 2014

Apple to unveil new iPads, iMacs and OS X Yosemite on 16 October, claim sources

Apple's boss Tim Cook still has a number of iThings up his sleeve with Cupertino expected to reveal new iPads, iMacs and OS X Yosemite on 16 October. Anonymous sources told Re/code that the event would take place at the fruity firm's Town Hall Auditorium. It comes, after Apple unleashed its iWatches and iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 …
Team Register, 04 Oct 2014
GoPro 4 black

Best Buy preps for a Hero4 welcome just in time for Christmas

US retail giant Best Buy is anticipating bumper sales of GoPro's Hero4 products, which are set for release on Sunday. Best Buy has tripled the amount of space GoPro gizmos take up in 500 of its stores, according to the Associated Press, so as it can start promoting the video camera maker's latest product line in the run up to …
Team Register, 04 Oct 2014
Reddit on KitKat 4.4

Reddit trousers $50m to splash on ads, mobile and cash-generating staffers

Reddit has announced that it has managed to raise $50m in funding, which it plans to use to hire more staff, improve its mobile offering and, of course, make its ads better. The risqué blog also plans to give something back to the community of users, the ones who bring all the eyeballs to the site with their frequently …
Team Register, 01 Oct 2014
three amigos movie poster + three speaking in tech podcast hosts: Greg Kniereman, Sarah Vela, Ed Saiptech

Speaking in Tech: HP-EMC merger 'redonkulous' says EMC man Chad Sakac

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Join Greg Knieriemen and Ed Saipetch, hosts of our weekly techcast, with their guest Chad Sakac, senior vice president of Global Systems Engineering at EMC, to chew on the HP-EMC merger rumours, talk about avoiding Oracle OpenWorld (and accompanying drunken brawls), look at …
Team Register, 01 Oct 2014

Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS

A major electronics company in Japan has developed a team of robot cheerleaders which are designed to seat themselves atop balls and carry out vigorous coordinated manoeuvres, thus: “We developed the Murata Cheerleaders to demonstrate our electronics technologies,” enthuses Koichi Yoshikawa, Senior Manager of Corporate …
Team Register, 29 Sep 2014

BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports

Apple's iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus mobes do not bend out of shape quite as easily as was claimed by bloggers earlier this week, according - that is - to a more rigorous test carried out by Consumer Reports. The US product reviews outfit used its lab equipment to see if there were obvious design weaknesses in Apple's anodised …
Team Register, 28 Sep 2014
Bug bounties

SMASH the Bash bug! Apple and Red Hat scramble for patch batches

A fresh dump of Shellshock patches were released on Friday night in the latest move to stamp out the Bash shell security vuln that has the potential to blight millions of Linux, Unix and Mac OS X machines. Red Hat said in a blog post that the threat from Shellshock was receding now that patches had been issued for most operating …
Team Register, 28 Sep 2014

That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN

Scientists believe that a "significant fraction" of water molecules found on this planet are older than Earth, the solar system and even the Sun. According to new research led by astro boffin Ilse Cleeves at the University of Michigan, a "significant fraction" of the big drink was created more than 4.5 billion years ago. The …
Team Register, 27 Sep 2014

Japanese volcano eruption reportedly leaves 31 people presumed dead

A volcano eruption in Japan earlier today reportedly left 250 people stranded on the mountain, while eight others were understood to have been seriously injured. According to Reuters, which cited TV broadcaster NHK, a witness to the natural disaster said: "It was like thunder." She added: "I heard boom, boom, then everything …
Team Register, 27 Sep 2014

Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER

Being a fat teenager is not pleasant. Your school chums will bully you, adults and kids will fat-shame you and you’ll live in a perpetual nightmare of sweaty guilt and impotent rage, punctuated by periodic beatings and ritual humiliation. And to make things even worse, you’ll earn less than everyone else when you grow up. …
Team Register, 25 Sep 2014

Speaking in Tech: I swear I didn't fall for the iPhone 6 microwave charger hoax...

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela… except this week, the show gets hijacked by The Geek Whisperers crew - John Troyer, Amy Lewis and Matt Brender - at SpiceWorld in Austin, Texas. No, it's not a Spice Girls reunion. This week we discuss... Mutiny on the …
Team Register, 24 Sep 2014
Rotten apple

Apple's iPhone 6 first-day sales are MEANINGLESS, mutters analyst

Record iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus sales trumpeted by Apple reveal very little about demand, says an analyst, this is because of the limited supplies of the mobes provided to stores in the initial few days. That's the conclusion of Barclay's Ben Reitzes, who said that while "response to the launch has been stronger than expected …
Team Register, 21 Sep 2014
By Luke Ford  http://www.lukeford.net/Images/photos4/071209/214.htm  Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 Generic http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/deed.en

'Kim Kardashian snaps naked selfies with a BLACKBERRY'. *Twitterati gasps*

A new round of what appear to be private, naked photos of female celebrities including US television reality star Kim Kardashian have apparently been leaked online. The latest stash of pics, which seemed to include two naked selfies taken by Kardashian with a Blackberry handset, were easily accessible on Twitter late on Saturday …
Team Register, 21 Sep 2014

Microsoft delays Xbox One launch... Big Trouble in Big China?

Microsoft pushed back the release of its Xbox One console in China to the end of 2014 on Sunday, without explaining why the launch of its product in the People's Republic had been delayed. The Indian launch is expected to take place tonight. GeekWire reported that Redmond needed "a bit more time to deliver the best experiences …
Team Register, 21 Sep 2014

Bargain basement iPhone shoppers BEWARE! eBay exposes users to phishing vuln

eBay bans the use of cross-site scripting on the online tat bazaar because it can open up the site's users to nasty phishing vulnerabilities. And yet, according to the BBC, some auction listings have been exposed to the exploit since February this year. Some users hunting for old iPhones could have been caught up in the security …
Team Register, 21 Sep 2014

Ex-basketball star CUFFED on suspicion of stealing Apple gear worth $14k

An erstwhile NBA star was reportedly manacled by police in Arizona on Friday, after being accused of stealing $14,000 worth of gear during separate visits to an Apple store in the US. Ex-basketball player Rex Chapman, 46, who was a member of the Phoenix Suns team, allegedly nicked the goods using the self checkout as a cover at …
Team Register, 20 Sep 2014
Bored girl

Speaking in Tech: 'I'm an Apple guy and I COULD CARE LESS about the iWatch'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Ed has escaped to Thailand while Greg and Sarah are joined by special guests Marc Farley of Quaddra Software and Aaron Delp of SolidFire. This week we discuss... Eddie: One Night in Bangkok (:55) OpenStack …
Team Register, 17 Sep 2014

PLEASE STOP with the snooping requests, begs Google as gov data demands skyrocket

Worldwide government requests for access to Google's user data leapt by 15 per cent in the last six months, the ad giant said in its latest "Transparency Report" published on Monday. The company added that the demands from national authorities had ballooned 150 per cent since Google first made details of the requests public in …
Team Register, 16 Sep 2014
android tongue

Bloat-free, unlocked Moto X to be dubbed 'Pure Edition', says report

Motorola has reportedly named its yet to be released bloat-free, unlocked Moto X the "Pure Edition". According to the Verge, the handset maker is planning to ship the unbranded version of its Moto X model later this month. Some readers might struggle with the concept of "pure", though, given that the device runs on Android. …
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014
Our playmonaut tries out a jetpack, watched by a circling vulture

DARPA-backed jetpack prototype built to make soldiers run faster

Students are working on a test build of a wearable jetpack that could help soldiers run faster on the field of combat. The project dubbed 4MM, or 4 Minute Mile, has been backed by the US defence agency DARPA. It was dreamed up by Arizona State University faculty mentor Jason Kerestes, who built a prototype of the jetpack. He …
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014
Picard Facepalm

General Motors issues STOP DELIVERY for 2,800 corvettes over defects in 2015 model

General Motors has been forced to recall nearly 3,000 Chevrolet Corvettes, after the giant US car manufacturer said that the vehicles may have air bag defects or brake faults. According to Auto News, around 2,000 corvettes are said to have serious problems with the driver's air bags that could come loose from their steering …
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014
Illustration of an atom

The sound of silence: One excited atom is so quiet that the human ear cannot detect it

Boffins believe they have successfully demonstrated the sound a single atom makes when excited - even though it is completely inaudible to the human ear. The researchers at the University of Columbia and Sweden's Chalmers University of Technology "captured" the very soft sound, according to a paper published in Science journal …
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014
Tim Cook as Miss Havisham

Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched

Despite Apple cofounder Steve Jobs being dead nearly three years now, current Apple CEO Tim Cook has left Jobs' fourth-floor office at Apple untouched since his passing, a new interview has revealed. Cook made the revelation during a wide-ranging talk with broadcaster Charlie Rose that will air on the PBS TV network in the US …
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014

Go home Google, you're drunk! Desktop Maps says The Shard's TWO MILES from actual loc

Anyone searching for directions to The Shard on the desktop version of Google Maps may be surprised to discover that the pointy, glassy London skyscraper is apparently plonked in the middle of one of the capital's best-known landmarks, Trafalgar Square. Eagle-eyed reader Pete Jones spotted the mapping blunder and tipped off The …
Team Register, 11 Sep 2014
Apple iPhone 6

Speaking in Tech: On iPhone 6 - 'If you make big-*ss phones, you'd better make 'em usable'

speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's the Apple iGasm edition. Join Greg Knieriemen and Ed Saipetch, hosts of our weekly techcast, with their guest Joe Onisick, technical marketing engineer at Cisco to chew on Apple and Cisco's ACI and troubling questions including "Are my hands BIG ENOUGH not to be made to …
Team Register, 10 Sep 2014

Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT

After an eternity of hype, Apple has finally confirmed at a bash in Cupertino, California, two new iPhones, a smartwatch and a mobile payment system. The 4.7in iPhone 6 with an A8 processor. $199 for 16GB, $299 for 64GB, and $399 for 128GB, with a two-year contract. The 5.5in iPhone 6 Plus. Costs $100 more. Both mobes out on …
Team Register, 09 Sep 2014
Edward Snowden

Snowden shouldn't be extradited to US if he testifies about NSA spying, says Swiss gov

Master spook blabbermouth Edward Snowden should be granted safe passage to and from Switzerland if he testifies about surveillance, the country's attorney general has reportedly said. Last year, the one-time NSA sysadmin leaked files revealing some of the secret spying tactics of UK and US spooks. Snowden currently has …
Team Register, 08 Sep 2014
Curiosity self-portrait at Rocknest in the Gale Crater

Is there life on Mars? Cloud-gazing Curiosity accused of lacking scientific focus

Mars rover Curiosity recently tweeted having its head in the clouds, which just so happens to serve as a good metaphor for a mission that an independent committee of experts say lacks scientific focus. A Planetary Mission Senior panel reviewed Curiosity's work to date on behalf of US space agency NASA. The rover's escapades on …
Team Register, 07 Sep 2014