The Register Columnists

Our correspondent

Contact Mail Follow RSS feed

Future war, what it is good phwoar? asks Crysis skin-paint babe

Crysis 3 goes on sale this coming Friday, and in a blatant bid to arouse interest among gamers, developer Crytek and publisher EA has sprayed some leggy lass called Ashley Roberts with hi-tech body art. Said skin paint job represents the sci-fi suit worn by Crysis 3's protagonist and is a more skintight variant on the usual …
The Register breaking news

LG to cut greenhouse gas output by 4kg per handset

Green Tech LG is to use "eco-magnesium" in future mobile phones, ending the emission of some very nasty greenhouse gases in the process. Eco-magnesium is an alloy of the metal. LG said that "practically no" sulphur hexafluoride (SF6) is released during its production - not the case with the magnesium alloy LG is currently using. "The …
NSFW!

Official: Playboy back cat stashed on hard drive

NSFW We've heard of guys stashing away their pr0n collections on a covert external storage device, safe from prying eyes, but if you get your mitts on this one, your passion for the pudendic will be immediately obvious to all. US publishing outfit Bondi Digital has released a 250GB drive containing - we pull your plonker not - a …
The Register breaking news

Sony qicks off Qriocity streaming service

God save us from the branding 'specialists' who came up with "Qriocity", the name Sony has selected for its movie streaming service, which is now live in the UK. Qriocity is, of course, intended to be pronounced 'curiosity', which is a daft enough name for a video-on-demand service even when it's spelled correctly. It's a word …
The Register breaking news

ISPAs 2008: Music can save broadband

These are relatively dark days for the ISP business. With the market saturated, fewer and fewer new broadband customers are scrapped over by fewer and fewer players. All the while, bandwidth costs are on the increase, fired by the success of the BBC's streaming iPlayer, and the price consumers are willing to pay for internet …
The Register breaking news

Presenting the inaugural Vulture Central Hall of Lame™

Quotations It was the Greek dramatist Sophocles who once wrote: "A short saying often contains much wisdom." And Marlene Dietrich said: "I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognised wiser than oneself." Hmmm. What guff. Here at Vulture Central we …

Queen commands Samsung to supply 100 TVs

The Queen has ordered one hundred Samsung flat-panel TVs to be installed in Buckingham Palace, the South Korean giant announced yesterday. But it's not able to claim its products come 'by appointment' to the monarch of all she surveys - for that, its screens have to be under the royal gaze for the next five years. According to …

ATI pitches CrossFire certification scheme

Computex 2006 ATI has launched a website it claims will make it easier for its fans to choose CrossFire-enabled hardware. The site list the 90-odd graphics cards, mobos, PSUs and memory that have passed the company's CrossFire compatibility certification procedure, it said today. The website, www.aticrossfire.com specs out sample PC …
The Register breaking news

People want services with IQ, says IB

Information Builders’ UK MD has called for the Government to expand its view of the kind of services it should be offering people online. Speaking at the eGovernment conference in London last week, Jim Irving said that although the government’s plans to get its services online by 2005 were well underway, it needed to go beyond …
The Register breaking news

'We have your water supply, and printers' – Brumcon report

Brumcon this year was held at the Brittania hotel in Birmingham, the agenda was as varied as one can expect when h4xors, Phreeks, geeks and assorted wannabes get together to discuss the interweb thing and how abusing computers is more phun than abusing yourself, writes Arthur Barnes. The whole thing kicked off with a …
The Register breaking news

Telstra, Ballmer Dizzy with the Spin

Ever since Australia's biggest company cozied up to Sun, America's biggest company has been looking for a good damage control story. After two weeks denying that Steve Ballmer's mid-October visit to Australia was an attempt to stop the telco defecting to StarOffice, Microsoft and Telstra shared the stage to launch the Pocket PC …
The Register breaking news

Apple dumps Aussie PR after news coup

Over the years, Apple has become accustomed to bad news. Now it gets the flutters when there's good news. And so, the company has sacked its PR manager in Australia after she mistakenly issued a good news press release. The trouble started when Myrna van Pelt, a four-year Apple veteran in the Australian office, sent out a press …
The Register breaking news

You've got Blogs! AOL buys into homegrown media

"AOL gets it! Steve Case gets it!" beamed Dave Winer today, after brokering a deal that sees two hundred of the most popular weblogs become part of the AOL-Time Warner publishing empire. The media giant has acquired rights to many of the most popular blogs including Instapundit, USS Clueless, and many hitherto unheard-of sites …
The Register breaking news

WinXP Pro with .NET Server performance? Forget it…

In response to our piece on NTSwitch earlier this week, reader David Bazile was sufficiently fired up to try the routine. NTSwitch purports to demonstrate that there are relatively minimal differences between Microsoft server and workstation operating systems by allowing you to switch between, say Win2k workstation and server, …
The Register breaking news

Netcraft Web Server Survey – October 2001

Top Developers Developer Sept '01 Share Oct '01 Share Change Apache 19279109 59.51 18851352 56.89 -2.62 Microsoft 8895343 27.46 9607363 28.99 1.53 iPlanet 1319271 4.07 1278720 3.86 -0.21 Zeus 783261 2.42 775438 2.34 -0.08 Active Sites Developer Sept '01 Share Oct '01 Share Change Apache 7924169 60.86 7781145 61.36 0.50 Microsoft …
The Register breaking news

Netcraft Web Survey: August 2001

Top Developers Developer July 2001 % August 2001 % Change Apache 18382308 58.73 17874757 58.08 -0.65 Microsoft 8099757 25.88 8146372 26.47 0.59 iPlanet 1345566 4.30 1321544 4.29 -0.01 Zeus 793587 2.54 811406 2.64 0.10 Active Sites Developer July 2001 % August 2001 % Change Apache 7314577 60.53 …
The Register breaking news

Netcraft's July 2001 Web Survey

The Netcraft Web Server Survey is a survey of Web Server software usage on Internet connected computers. We collect and collate as many hostnames providing an http service as we can find, and systematically poll each one with an HTTP request for the server name. In the July 2001 survey we received responses from 31,299,592 …
The Register breaking news

Net over power lines concept is back

Trials are underway in Germany and Spain to provide broadband Internet over electricity cables at speeds up to 45Mbps. Testing is still at an early stage but if successful a full service could be introduced by the end of the year. Exact details of the trial are being kept under wraps. However, Denis Murphy, VP and MD EMEA of …
The Register breaking news

Adobe's legal attack dogs savage open source KIllustrator

Adobe's carefully cultivated 'nice guy' image has been found lacking in Germany. This is thanks to its law firm which is charging people on Adobe's behalf for the privilege of getting a stiff legal letter, writes Paul Nesbitt. Adobe is demanding that a German professor and part time open source programmer stop using the name …
The Register breaking news

Netcraft posts June 2001 Web survey

The Netcraft Web Server Survey is a survey of Web Server software usage on Internet connected computers. We collect and collate as many hostnames providing an http service as we can find, and systematically poll each one with an HTTP request for the server name. Top Servers Server May 2001 (%) June 2001 (%) Change Apache …
The Register breaking news

Netcraft posts May 2001 Web survey

The Netcraft Web Server Survey is a survey of Web Server software usage on Internet connected computers. We collect and collate as many hostnames providing an http service as we can find, and systematically poll each one with an HTTP request for the server name. In the May 2001 survey we received responses from 29,031,745 sites …
The Register breaking news

Netcraft releases April 2001 Web server stats

Netcraft's latest Web Server Survey results have been published. Netcraft did not release a report for the March 2001 survey, which only saw small changes in share for the top servers. Instead this April 2001 survey has been released early. The full data can be view at Netcraft's survey site (http://www.netcraft.com/survey/). …
The Register breaking news

Free software would have prevented foot and mouth, BSE, Hatfield rail crash – RMS

Foot and Mouth, BSE and the Hatfield rail crash could all have been avoided if the British government had the right approach to information sharing, at least according to Richard Stallman. He reckons that all three disasters were largely to do with bad attitudes to data, and that if ministers understood how free software works …
The Register breaking news

Reg SETI group sweeps all before it

Hello, is there anybody out there? Vulture Central, the Reg SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) group, has raced to number one in the league table of Top 200 Government Organisations helping search for aliens. This feat was achieved in less than a week, writes Andrew Thomas. Vulture Central was originally formed …
The Register breaking news

Apple's special OS X marketing ploy

Cupertino Apple boss Steve Jobs claims that within "a few weeks of MacOS X shipping on Saturday 24 March there will be hundreds of thousands of early adopters" loading the new operating system on their Macs, writes Paul Hoffner. This is despite it costing $129 to buy and having very few native applications to run. Sure, it's a …