Microsoft: Ha ha, my Wall Street friends - THIS time the victory is OURS
Microsoft disclosed on Thursday its earnings for the first time since outgoing CEO Steve Ballmer announced the company's radical restructuring in July, and from all appearances, all is well in Redmond.
Apple CEO Tim Cook v Microsoft's Ballmer: Seconds out, round two!
CommentAs The Reg reported on Thursday, Microsoft communications chieftain Frank Shaw went off on Apple in a near-thousand word blog post defending his company's beleaguered Surface and Surface 2.
ARM cores leg it into body of Big Blue, rub shoulders with Power network chips
IBM has announced it is licensing a basket of processor designs from ARM for its network equipment division.
Pac-Man GHOST nebula is literally the coolest thing in the universe – boffins
PicIf you're searching for the ideal place to hold your Halloween party next Thursday, may we suggest the Pac-Man-ghost-shaped Boomerang Nebula in the constellation Centarus?
Please, PLEASE, Skype... Don't kill our apps and headsets, plead devs
Third-party Skype developers are rallying against a Microsoft decision that threatens to break the voice-chat service for partners and millions of users.
Broadcom sheds 1,150 workers in race to bundle 4G silicon out the door
Chip maker Broadcom will shed 1,150 jobs as it struggles to keep selling 3G tech while getting its 4G product line out of the door.
Norks seed online games with malware in fiendish DDoS plot
South Korea’s National Police Agency (NPA) is warning users not to download unofficial online games as they may contain malware designed by the North to compromise machines which can then be used to launch DDoS attacks on the country.
Money really does GROW ON TREES say boffins
In an outlying suburb of the Australian capital, Canberra, lies an enormous warehouse filled with over 100,000 data tapes. The warehouse is owned by Geoscience Australia (GA), which keeps a copy of every mine survey every conducted in Australia.
SEX CRAZED FISH keeping hapless Southamptonites awake
Experts have suggested that a night-time humming keeping residents along Hampshire's Southampton Water from their kip may be the result of randy fish.
Facebook reveals 700TB of tiered RAM and flash power Graph Search
Facebook has revealed a little more detail about how it built Graph Search, the feature it took live a couple of weeks back to enable better searching of the billion posts it now collects each day.
Samsung patent points to hi-tech glasses project
Samsung is the latest technology giant to jump on the hi-tech spectacles bandwagon, with a patent was filed in Korea this month revealing designs for a pair of “sports glasses”.
Biz bods, politicos, beware: 'BOTS are on the loose, and they're coming for YOU
Businesses and governments in the US, UK, Canada, and India are under assault from a malware-based cybercrime campaign using the Tor anonymizing relay network to hide its authors, say infosec researchers.
Quantum returns to loss-making after Microsoft royalty blip
Quantum has returned to its old form after last quarter’s one-off Microsoft royalty-driven profits lift, with shrinking revenues and a loss in its second fiscal 2014 quarter.
'With free Mavericks, we are turning the industry ON ITS EAR'
QuotWThis was the week when Cisco managed hit reply-all on an email yet again, scooping thousands of its employees up into an epic deluge of electronic messages asking not to get any more electronic messages.
Why Bletchley Park could never happen today
FeatureFollowing the torrent of revelations about US and British government surveillance unleashed by whistle-blower Edward Snowden, we now know what many had previously guessed: with a few exceptions*, the spies have the electronic world pretty much wired.
Cash-strapped students hungrily eye up old, unloved racks
SCC'13How much supercomputing can you do with $2,500 worth of hardware? The four teams competing in the SC13 Student Cluster Commodity Track Competition will answer precisely this question - and more.
Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face
VideoTop scientists have discovered grasshopper mice feel no pain when they are stung in the face by scorpions: they simply carry on gobbling up the fearsome poisonous arachnids.
San Fran tech hub wants hookers and hackers for Halloween
A San Francisco tech hub is standing firm after coming under fire for its plans to hold a "hackers and hookers" Halloween party. The group said it would hold the themed party as planned.
TECH WAR: Brummies say firms 'lose out' in London's Tech City
The business bods of Birmingham have commissioned a survey designed to tempt startups away from the British capital's Silicon Roundabout scene.
Intel on Europe: The Internet of Things could SAVE US ALL
FeatureHow will Europe lift itself out of current and future economic woes - and help save the planet while it’s about it? According to chip giant Intel, with hi-tech carrots rather than government sticks.
Mega-distie Ingram Micro takes knife to costs in 'very challenged' Europe
Flatlining sales growth in Europe has led the world's largest distributor, Ingram Micro, to restart a cost-slashing exercise in the region after describing the operation as "still very challenged".
Ofcom: By 2017, even BUMPKINS will have superfast broadband
Ofcom's annual report on the state of Blighty's infrastructure promises "near universal" superfast broadband by 2017 with only the most gentle of regulatory nudges.
Coding: 'Suitable for exceptionally dull weirdos'
Readers' cornerTeaching all children to code software is daft and pointless to The Telegraph blogger Willard Foxton. In an article attacking the UK government’s plans to update the ICT curriculum, the “investigative journalist and television producer", writes:
Vulture 2 paintjob: Four-year-old nipper triumphs
It has been emotional, but we reckon we've finally got a Vulture 2 livery which satisfies all the requirements for a spaceplane paintjob.
Silicon Valley 'no-hire pact' lawsuit gets class action status for tech workers
The lawsuit against big tech firms like Google and Apple over their hiring practices has been given class action status, making it easier for the workers to lever greater wads of cash out of the companies if they win.
How I BLEW my co-workers' HEADS OFF ... without going to jail
Something for the Weekend, Sir?Guns? Check. Ammo? Check. Bloody squibs. Er no. Chainsaw? Oh, yes indeedy.
NetSuite's Nelson mocks SAP for halting work on its, er, 'NetSuite-killer'
NetSuite has slapped down business software rival SAP for abandoning mid-market customers hungry for Software as a Service (SaaS).
Irish privacy boss hauled to court for NOT probing Facebook for spook links
An Austrian student is taking Ireland's data protection watchdog to court after the privacy regulator declined to investigate allegations that Facebook allowed US spooks to slurp its data.
PHP.net resets passwords after malware-flinging HACK FLAP
Samsung's at it AGAIN: SHATTERING profit records, that is
Samsung Electronics has pushed profits to yet another record, jumping 26 per cent in the third quarter, but had to rely on recovery in the chip market to do it.
Reg mobile correspondent Bill Ray hangs up his Vulture hat
It's Friday afternoon and my last day as a reporter for The Register. After well over 4,000 articles, and seven years, I'm hanging up my hack's mac and filing away my Press card.
Netgear router admin hole is WIDE OPEN, but DON'T you dare go in, warns infosec bod
Netgear has promised to release a patch next month to fix a recently discovered vulnerability that lets attackers take control of unguarded kit.
How to find OS X Mavericks' 43 hidden photogenic beauties
PicsAs it did in OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion, Apple has hidden away a fine collection of forty-three 3200-by-2000-pixel photos in OS X 10.9 Mavericks that it intends you to use in the default screensaver. If you know where they are, however, you can also use them for rather lovely desktop backgrounds.
Don't crack that Mac: Almost NOTHING in new Retina MacBook Pros can be replaced
TeardownApple's new MacBook Pro laptops with Retina displays pack more punch than ever before – Cupertino described last year's 15-incher as the "best computer Apple has ever made," and this year's Haswellified model improves on it.
Does Apple make you puke? Take this iOS 7.0.3 update with your tablets
Apple has released an iOS 7 update that will be welcomed by iPhone and iPad owners who were sickened by the mobile operating system's user interface.
Is it barge? Is it a data center? Mystery FLOATING 'Google thing'
PicGoogle may be constructing a floating data center on a large barge in the San Francisco bay.
Play Elite, Pitfall right now: Web TIME PORTAL opens to vintage games, apps
The Internet Archive has unveiled a new Historical Software Collection that enables visitors to experiment with vintage software from the era of 8-bit computing right within their browser windows.
Rackspace goes to Israel, picks up slick new weapon for cloud wars
AnalysisCloud operator Rackspace has hopped over to Israel and returned with a secret weapon that could give it capabilities hard to find in Amazon and Microsoft clouds.
Study: Arctic warming at 'stunning' rate – highest temps in 44,000 years
A recent study has shown that over the past 100 years the average summer temperatures in the Eastern Canadian Arctic have been toastier than at any time for at least the past 44,000 years, and perhaps for as long as 120,000 years.