Microsoft crams fat Azure cloud pipe into delicate on-premises biz boxes
Amazon Web Services may be hellbent on uploading world+dog into its public cloud, but Microsoft has other ideas – and a new Azure update makes it easier for admins to consume Redmond's cloud as an add-on service for on-premises installations.
Google fires fresh salvo in war on FILTH: Chrome Supervised Users
In the never-ending quest to shield impressionable minds from some of the internet's less family-friendly content, Google has unveiled "supervised users" for Chrome on Windows, OS X, Linux, and Chrome OS.
New MacBook Pro: What's actually new, here?
The new iPad Air and iPad mini with Retina display weren't the only bits of Apple kit that were revealed at Tuesday's product rollout in San Francisco; there were also upgraded versions of the 13-inch and 15-inch Retina display MacBook Pros to talk about.
What's the first Kinetic Ethernet hard drive? Psst, it's the 4TB Terascale
The first direct-access-over-Ethernet Kinetic hard drive is a modified 4TB Seagate Terascale.
HP to enter 3D printer market in mid-2014 says CEO Meg Whitman
Canalys Channels ForumHP CEO Meg Whitman has told the Canalys Channels Forum in Bangkok that the company will enter the 3D printer market in the middle of 2014.
It's the '90s all over again: Apple repeats mistakes as low-cost tablets pile up
Canalys Channels ForumApple risks repeating the mistakes of the 1990s as it sticks to a high price strategy on its iPads and other products, even as the surging tablet market heads for excess inventory in the fourth quarter.
EMC accuses Pure Storage of 'raiding' its people, IP
EMC has accused flashy startup Pure Storage and “numerous former EMC employees” of conducting a “campaign” “to compete unfairly with EMC by, among other things, misappropriating EMC’s Confidential Information and Property, unlawfully soliciting EMC’s customers and raiding EMC of its valuable employees, all in an effort to increase Pure Storage’s presence in the marketplace at the expense of EMC.”
Swedish teen's sex video fine slashed: Unwilling co-star girlfriend furious
A Swedish court has reduced the fine of a teenage boy to just £2,400 after he uploaded a pornographic video of his ex-girlfriend without her permission.
ICANN approves Arabic, Russian and Chinese global domain spaces
The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) has finally shown the green light to the first ever generic Top Level Domains (gTLDs), and they’re all international strings written in Arabic, Russian and Chinese.
Lone sysadmin fingered for $462m Wall Street crash
On August 1st, 2012, high-frequency equities trader Knight Capital lost $US462 million after automated trading systems went haywire, a mess that has now been traced to a mistake by a single sysadmin.
HP CEO Whitman: We've built the PC that GOD wants
Canalys Channels ForumHP's CEO Meg Whitman says the company is not just turning around its various messes, but is doing so well it has gleaned sufficient insights into the divine and can build a computer to God's specifications.
HP 3PAR kit wins X-Factor for mid-range storage arrays
Mirror, mirror on the wall, which is the fairest mid-range array of them all? Why, the 3PAR 7400, says enterprise data storage analyst DCIG.
Nice job, technology. Now we have to work FIVE TIMES HARDER
Researchers have claimed that modern technology has made workers almost five times more tired productive than they were in the '70s.
Met Police vid: HIDE your mobes. Pavement BIKER cutpurses on the loose
VideoThe Metropolitan Police have put out a video showing just how easy it is to steal a mobile telephone, as long as one has a scooter and a mate to go pillion.
Revealed: Stealthy hybrid upstart Maxta's vSAN domination plan
Stealthy – well, sort-of stealthy – storage upstart Maxta aims to converge compute and storage in a virtual server world by harnessing commodity servers' direct-attached storage to create a pool of storage available to virtual machines running in the host servers.
Pimp my office: 10 cubicle comforts
ReviewOffice equipment invariably goes through years of abuse and is often consigned to landfill only after a strategic coffee spill brings about a lethal end to a troublesome or antiquated device. In more enlightened environs, the idea of a kit refresh from time to time isn’t an alien concept, but there is an inclination for simply more of the same.
PC addict RM finally quits its building habit, plans to axe 300 jobs
Under-fire education tech specialist RM has finally admitted what the rest of the industry already knew: that it can't make money building PCs and will instead concentrate on developing software and services.
THIS is the kind of clout a British Prime Minister has: Facebook pulls ONE beheading vid
Facebook has removed one video of a beheading that was posted on the free-content ad-network – and told its users to be more "responsible" about the material they dump on the site.
How to stop intruders without knocking out the workers
Sysadmin blogFor a sysadmin, fighting malware feels like an uphill battle that you are never going to win.
Cisco: Us, competing with Amazon's cloud? You're having a laugh
Canalys Channels ForumCash and acquisition-stuffed Cisco insisted today that it had no plans to offer its own public cloud. Or at least, not one that competes with industry giant Amazon.
UK.gov open to hiring ex-con hackers for cyber reserves
The UK army of cyber reservists is open to the idea of hiring convicted hackers into its ranks.
Hands on: We play with the slippery Lumia 1520, Nokia's first phondleslab
Nokia WorldSometimes you have to leave prejudices aside. To me, phondleslabs (or phablets) – phones with large screens – are inconvenient and slightly ludicrous. If you saw somebody talking into a plate, you’d think they had gone mad.
Chrome for the slurp-weary: Cookie-binning Aviator browser arrives
Security developers have released a stripped-down privacy-friendly browser, Aviator, based on the open source browser core Chromium as used by Google Chrome.
Samsung to take stake in Gorilla Glass maker Corning after LCD deal
Gorilla Glass maker Corning has announced that it's going to buy out Samsung Display's stake in their LCD joint venture, in a deal that gives Samsung Electronics a 7.4 per cent stake in Corning.
Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson battles bullfighting
Former Baywatch thesp Pamela Anderson has written to the Spanish Senate asking it to reject a bill which would declare bullfighting part of the nation's "Cultural Heritage".
Computacenter cashes in on support doom, helps corporates flee Win XP
Revenue-boosting projects to help customers flee the Windows XP OS en mass helped Computacenter record near double-digit sales growth in calendar Q3, according to a trading update by Blighty's largest reseller.
Pirate Bay captain pleads with Swedes: Don't make me walk Danish plank
The founder of The Pirate Bay has written a letter to the Swedish government urging it not to deport him to Denmark.
Reply-all email lightning storm STRIKES TWICE at Cisco
Cisco is tackling another email storm today, just weeks after its servers were deluged with millions of "reply-all" messages being sent by the networking giant's staff - with many requesting they be removed from the list.
Icahn trousered $700m from Netflix stock sale?! Er, it would appear so
Billionaire investor Carl Icahn has cashed in on Netflix's good fortunes, bagging profits of between $700m and $800m by selling three million shares earlier this month.
Sueball-happy patent biz slaps lawsuits on 14 tech firms
Seven electronics companies have been caught in the sights of a massive patent infringement lawsuit from Optical Devices, which is currently attempting to get a ban on the import of devices using the allegedly infringing tech from the ITC. These include everything from storage devices and servers to TVs, console gaming systems and BluRay players from some of the biggest names in the business.
Programmers! Have you been asked to solve a computationally intractable task?
Readers' cornerAnd so to El Reg forums, where Julian Bradfield, an academic, writes:
Long time ago? Galaxy far, far away? You ain't seen nothing yet
PicsAstronomers have glimpsed the most distant galaxy known to Man: it's an early cluster system more than 13 billion light-years away and was formed barely 700 million years after the Big Bang.
It's NOT an iPad - but that's FINE: I learned to LOVE Microsoft's Surface 2
ReviewMicrosoft’s first take on Surface RT was a disaster, culminating in a $900m stock write-down in July.
Just HALF of 10m iPhone, Android BlackBerry BBM app downloads activated
Ten million people have apparently downloaded the new BlackBerry Messenger (BBM) app for Android or iOS in just 24 hours. But with activations being metered out in half-million lumps it will be a while before they can all start chatting.
Juniper ELIMINATES 300 jobs, braces wallet for US gov shutdown blow
Jittery Juniper Networks is axing hundreds of workers amid concerns the US government shutdown could hamper its stateside federal business.
What a twit: Obama aide FIRED for anonymous gov-bashing tweets
A senior White House official has been fired after he was unmasked as the man behind a widely followed Twitter account from which he dispensed insults and sarcastic remarks about public figures and government policies.
NASA, start your torrents: 622 Mbps broadband link FOUND ON MOON
NASA has successfully tested a broadband communications system built into its Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer (LADEE) probe, firing data to and from the Moon at rates of up to 622Mbps.
Microsoft's APAC president denies price gouging in Australia
Canalys Channels ForumMicrosoft's president for the Asia Pacific, César Cernuda, has tried to explain why some of the company's products cost rather more in Australia than in other parts of the world.
OpenStack, OpenSmack. Eucalyptus 3.4 soldiers on with AWS integration
Eucalyptus was created to clone the Amazon cloud for on-premises deployments, but recent advances by Bezos & Co in private software, aggressive development by Microsoft of Azure, and momentum in OpenStack raise a pitchfork of challenges for the open-source infrastructure management system.
Surface Pro 2: It's TOOL-PROOF and ultimately destined for LANDFILL
TeardownWe knew that Microsoft's Surface Pro 2 tablets wouldn't stray too far from the original Surface Pro design - but according to the tool-and-part masters at iFixit, the new tablets are virtually identical to the old ones – meaning they're just as difficult to repair.
Fearless slayer of lawsuit-lovin' patent trolls steps forward from shadows
After years of inaction on patent law, a new bill has been introduced to the House of Representatives that could curb the scourge of patent trolls that is costing American businesses billions every year.
You. Netgear ReadyNAS owners. Have you closed your gaping holes today?
IT security biz Tripwire warns that a critical security vulnerability in some Netgear storage devices is going unnoticed by users, partly because the vendor has downplayed its importance.
Call yourself a 'hacker', watch your ex-boss seize your PC without warning
A US district court has ruled that self-confessed "hackers" have all the skills needed to swiftly destroy evidence, allowing anyone suing them to seize their equipment without warning.