1st > April > 2008 Archive


Dell axes 900 jobs in Austin plant shutdown

Round Rock's Sword of Dell-ocles has once again dropped on employees of the world's number two PC manufacturer.
Austin Modine, 01 Apr 2008

Apple sued over 'inflated' iMac claims

Apple, the world's most successful brand, is being sued by a Los Angeles law firm for "deceptively" marketing the new 20-inch iMac
Drew Cullen, 01 Apr 2008

IBM unveils nano-projector based VirtuaHuman with 1TB of memory

April FoolsDon Eigler – a researcher famous for spelling I-B-M with individual atoms – stunned the world once again today by revealing on his blog that a creature known as Robert Scoble is really a research project.
Ashlee Vance, 01 Apr 2008
Intel logo teaser

Intel's 'Living Large' mantra threatens tour guide industry

IDFIf last night's meal of private deer parts and caterpillar fungus had not gone down so well, we might have struggled to digest Intel's latest slogan – "Carry small, Live large."
Ashlee Vance, 01 Apr 2008

CIA demands UK halts interrogation tactics

April FoolsA human rights lawsuit filed on behalf of prominent US government agencies - including the Central Intelligence Agency and the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base - has been filed in a European Court. The lawsuit, which plaintiffs also sent to Foreign Minister David Miliband - asks that British websites cease engaging in "cruel, unusual and persistent" interrogation techniques which leave the US visitors disorientated.
Anne L Proeb, 01 Apr 2008

Intel launches R&D initiative to invent PDA

IDFIntel today disclosed a raft of technologies that will drive a research initiative it hopes will put the Assistant back into the Personal Digital Assistant, one of the most inappropriately applied acronyms in the history of personal computing.
Tony Smith, 01 Apr 2008

Intel's 'Bloomfield' spied ahead of IDF public demo

IDFIntel's next-generation 45nm processor architecture, 'Nehalem', made an appearance at the as-yet-unopened Intel Developer Forum (IDF) event today. A number of machines sported four-core versions of the chip.
Tony Smith, 01 Apr 2008

Patent shields customer support from customers

A US patent granted to SNAPin details a process for spotting when a user is trying to call support, and presenting them with a self-help package rather than connecting the call.
Bill Ray, 01 Apr 2008
Pirates ahoy!

IFPI demands $2.5m in damages from The Pirate Bay

The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) is demanding $2.5m in damages from Swedish torrent tracking site The Pirate Bay.
Jan Libbenga, 01 Apr 2008

Jules Verne gets intimate with ISS

The European Space Agency's "Jules Verne" Automated Transfer Vehicle yesterday manoevered itself to within 11 metres of the docking port of the ISS's Russian Zvezda module during a second "demonstration day" designed to test its "critical optical navigation system" prior to a scheduled docking on 3 April.
Lester Haines, 01 Apr 2008
arrow pointing up

ScaleMP creates $10k four-socket box out of thin air

Consider this like a Sesame Street episode for Symmetric Multi-Processor servers. "ScaleMP knows big. Now it wants to show you small."
Ashlee Vance, 01 Apr 2008

Teacher's head explodes due to Wi-Fi, mobe radiation

April FoolsNew research carried out for British newspapers and broadcasters has revealed conclusive evidence that wireless technologies are in fact a severe hazard to human health.
Lewis Page, 01 Apr 2008

Blogging Whitehall mandarin had top secret 'panopticon' plan

April FoolsIn the summer of 2001, Whitehall officials saw the UK's national identity scheme as just the first step in a "five to fifteen year" strategy to create a comprehensive surveillance society, a top secret document obtained by The Register reveals. The document, signed by top Cabinet Office mandarin Sir Bonar Neville-Kingdom, was prepared for the Domestic Affairs Cabinet Committee, and describes NODISS, the proposed "National Operational Deterrence and Intelligence Surveillance System.
Arsene Ghia, 01 Apr 2008

Intel shows Atom-powered Eee PC clones

IDFIntel was keen to show off its Atom processor in the run-up to Intel Developer Forum (IDF), and drummed up a trio of machines to show it off - including the 7in Asus Eee PC.
Tony Smith, 01 Apr 2008

The online funeral

Consumer technology is usually associated with living people. However, one intrepid UK crematorium now allows people to say goodbye to their beloved through a webcam and the internet.
James Sherwood, 01 Apr 2008
Flag New Zealand

NZ teen botnet mastermind cops a plea

A New Zealand teenager charged with running a huge cybercrime network has pleaded guilty to computer hacking and fraud offences.
John Leyden, 01 Apr 2008
spring logo

Spring opens its core to the seriously committed

Contributors to Spring devising and developing extensions to the open source framework will soon get dedicated help from project leaders through a new community site.
Gavin Clarke, 01 Apr 2008

We-think, I-think ... and Groupthink

ColumnI recently discovered something truly startling from a student. We were discussing the age-old problem of how to make sure an essay answers the question, and the value of concluding an argument by adopting a particular position. It was then that she confided in me something I'd never heard before.
William Davies, 01 Apr 2008

Danish ISP bundles free music subscription

TDC, Denmark's biggest ISP, is bundling a free music service with its broadband offering. And no, it's not a 1 April story - as we'll see from the caveats.
Andrew Orlowski, 01 Apr 2008

BT and Phorm secretly tracked 18,000 customers in 2006

ExclusiveBT secretly intercepted and profiled the web browsing of 18,000 of its broadband customers in 2006 using advertising technology provided by 121Media, the alleged spyware company that changed its name to Phorm last year.
Christopher Williams, 01 Apr 2008

Women overtaking men in tech abuse

Think of a tech nerd and you’ll probably conjure up the image of a middle-aged man with Ethernet cables draped around his neck. However, women are becoming increasingly tech-savvy, according to a study of female geeks.
James Sherwood, 01 Apr 2008

Blu-ray drive in development for Xbox 360

Microsoft’s Xbox division has already denied it’s talking to Sony about Blu-ray, but that hasn’t stopped the rumours. It’s now claimed that Taiwanese outfit Lite-On IT is developing a Blu-ray drive for the console.
James Sherwood, 01 Apr 2008

SOCA soaks up asset recovery agency

The UK's Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) has merged with the Assets Recovery Agency (ARA) as part of plans to streamline the recovery of criminal assets.
John Leyden, 01 Apr 2008
alarm clock teaser

ISO puts OOXML announcement on ice

UpdatedThe International Organisation for Standardisation (ISO) has pushed back its announcement on whether Microsoft has secured enough votes for its Office Open XML (OOXML) file format to tomorrow (2 April).
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Apr 2008

Jimmy Wales resigns from Wikipedia

April FoolsWikipedia co-founder Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales has resigned as Board member and Chair Emeritus of the Wikimedia Foundation, severing his seven-year relationship with "the free encyclopedia anyone can edit."
Cade Metz, 01 Apr 2008

Boeing: Black's the new black for black-helicopter projects

US aerospace colossus Boeing has revealed plans for its unmanned whisper-mode stealth helicopter, the A160T, to return to flight following a recent crash. The revolutionary, groundbreaking aircraft (cough) pranged itself during test flights last year, but Boeing believes that the software problems leading to the crash have been rectified.
Lewis Page, 01 Apr 2008

Marathons to face iPod ban?

Apple and Nike may think the upcoming London Marathon is the perfect promotion for their musical exercise gadgets. However, the global body behind marathons is considering banning audio players in case runners hurt themselves whilst changing lanes tracks.
James Sherwood, 01 Apr 2008

Comcast acquires BitTorrent for $53bn

April FoolsJust hours after acquiring BitTorrent Incorporated for $53bn in cash and stock, Comcast has shutdown the tiny San Francisco company, assuring customers and shareholders that its doors will never reopen.
Cade Metz, 01 Apr 2008

Jabra displays Bluetooth headset screen

Jabra has launched a Bluetooth headset featuring an integrated display, allowing users to visually check the device's battery life and call information.
James Sherwood, 01 Apr 2008

Google lets users take Apps files offline

Google is to give users access to Google Apps offline, meaning they'll be able to continue working if their internet connection falls down.
Richard Thurston, 01 Apr 2008

Storm Worms exploit April Fools

The miscreants behind the Storm Worm botnet have taken advantage of April Fools' day in a bid to infect more Windows PCs.
John Leyden, 01 Apr 2008

The Facebook Initiative – Bill Gates's greatest invention

April FoolsI'd interviewed Bill Gates so many times over the past 20 years but had never seen him in this kind of mood. On this unusual day last month, the typically unemotional man displayed a profound, passionate glimmer of the eye.
Ashlee Vance, 01 Apr 2008

Mobile phones global health menace, says top brain surgeon

Prolonged mobile phone use could be more damaging to your health than smoking or asbestos, according to the latest report into the possible risks of handset radiation on human brains.
James Sherwood, 01 Apr 2008

Shell starts clock ticking on unlucky 1% of staff

Royal Dutch Shell has claimed that no more than 30 jobs will be axed following the firm’s decision to outsource more than 3,000 worldwide IT staff.
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Apr 2008

Document glitch sparks GTA IV ban scare

Any gamers left panicking after reading that the Grand Theft Auto IV videogame has been refused a UK rating by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) can rest easy.
James Sherwood, 01 Apr 2008

Canon Digital Ixus 960 IS compact camera

ReviewThe latest offering from Canon, the Digital Ixus 960 IS offers no less than 12.1 megapixel performance. But, as we shall see, offering more pixels means paying a price when it comes to certain aspects of performance.
George Cole, 01 Apr 2008

EMC buys Brit Microsoft shop

EMC is buying Conchango, a UK-based Microsoft-shop for £42m ( $84m). That's a little more than '07 revenues (£38m) and 30 times pre-tax profits (£2.8m) for the AIM-listed firm.
Drew Cullen, 01 Apr 2008

FCC boss quashes Skype open access plea

CTIA WirelessWhen Verizon says that its entire wireless network will soon be open to any device and any application, the chairman of the US Federal Communications Commission believes the mega-telco is telling truth.
Cade Metz, 01 Apr 2008

US auto parts store spills data to hackers

Advance Auto Parts, the US motoring parts retailer, is the latest firm to give up customer credit card data to hackers.
John Leyden, 01 Apr 2008
Black hole

Galaxy's smallest known black hole discovered

Two NASA scientists have measured the puniest black hole yet - it has a diameter of just 15 miles and a mass about 3.8 times greater than the size of our sun.
Austin Modine, 01 Apr 2008

Google hippie code trip delayed again

Google has - for a second year - delayed the cut-off for student applications to its programming fest, Google Summer of Code
Phil Manchester, 01 Apr 2008

YouTube 'rape victim' arrested

A woman who claims she was gang raped by a group of teens that posted a video of the attack on YouTube has been arrested on suspicion of underage sex and perverting the course of justice.
Austin Modine, 01 Apr 2008

Reg April Fools '08

Team Register, 01 Apr 2008

How an app called WarmTouch nailed a grenade-stockpiling cyber extortionist

When the president of a prestigious patent and trademarking firm began receiving emails threatening to bring down its operations unless he paid a $17m ransom, he knew he had to take action. He reported the incident to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, but agents were unable to identify the culprit.
Dan Goodin, 01 Apr 2008

Reg April Fools 2007

Microsoft to build on Rogers Partnership Chief architects drawn together
Team Register, 01 Apr 2008

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