17th > August > 2000 Archive

Crap products hall of fame

There have been many notable failures in history - English cooking, French modesty, German humour and the Canadian home for baby seals. But the IT industry has had more than its fair share of clunkers. Take for example the AMD wristwatch featuring PowerNow!™. It certainly had impressive battery life, but slowing down when you weren't looking at it and stopping altogether when you took it off did somewhat impair its timekeeping efficacy. Who can forget the IBM PC Jr? A cut down PC so cut down it wasn't PC compatible any more. Or the ICL One-Per-Desk? A Sinclair QL with a phone bolted on the end. And the Sinclair QL itself, of course. Microsoft claimed Bob was the future of Rock 'n' Roll (or GUIs, anyway). It wasn't. Then there was Intel's fabulous Virtual Millennium Dome. A web site so terrific that it had even fewer visitors than the real thing. And Intel's Cape Cod mobo [That's enough, thankyou - Ed] ®
Dr Spinola, 17 Aug 2000

Lovely Linda leaves for NYC

Not since Diana married Charles, Monica Lewinsky got housemaid's knee, Geri Halliwell let loose her assets at an awards ceremony or Bridget Bardot ran naked down Oxford Street (actually that last one is more fantasy than truth) has so much media attention been focused on one woman. That's right ladies and gentlemen, after two years of laughter and two years of tears, our own lovely Linda has succumbed to the inevitable and decided to take her not inconsiderable talents across the pond to New York City. But don't panic! She's not disappearing, you will still be able to read her velvet words on the IT industry (mostly the channel and porn if the truth be known) on The Register in her new guise of New York correspondent. The news came as a blow to hundreds of IT executives who all secretly thought they had a chance with the leggy lovely, but American counterparts are said to be delighted. Many of them turned out this lunchtime to pay homage to Ms Harrison, but, tipped off, The Reg boys got in there first and jostled at the entrance of The Old Monk pub to get near the starlette - decked out in retro chic and vogueing like there was no tomorrow. Fortunately resident photographer Paparazzi O'Leery was at hand to capture the scene. We think the picture says it all. For all those NYC computer bods looking for a chance to meet the lady, Linda has reliably informed us that she intends to spend the first month at least schmoozing and boozing, so book her quick. We are all very sad to see Linda go and even though she'll be only a phone call away, her easy (and frequently saucy) wit, her peerless telephone flirting and her never-uninteresting mood swings will be sorely missed by everyone. All the best, love. And oh, yeah, Tim will be over in three weeks, Sean is popping over in the middle of September, Lucy also needs somewhere to stay when she passes through New York at the end of the month, Andrew wants to go to a show in October, Mike has booked his holiday for early November, Kieren's found a cheap flight for next weekend... ®
Kieren McCarthy, 17 Aug 2000