Jobsian cult indoctrinates American children

In the time-honored "hook 'em while they're young" marketing tradition, Apple is offering a summer series of free Apple Camp workshops at its US retail stores for youngsters aged 8 through 12.

As part of its ongoing Youth Programs effort, Apple will offer four sets of three-hour workshops, focusing on music, movie-making, photography, and a fun-filled Presentation Workshop that will teach the little ones how to create a "super-slick slideshow with movies, music, photos, and charts and graphs."

As every parent knows, nothing puts sparkle in the eyes of a wee one more than charts and graphs.

The workshops will be offered in each and every one of Apple's 209 retail stores in 41 states - no love, apparently, for future fanbois in Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Montana, North and South Dakota, Vermont, West Virginia, and Wyoming.

Each child is limited to two workshops running from 9:00 until noon. But if you're thinking that an Apple Genius will play babysitter for a few hours while you enjoy a brief non-parental respite, think again: Apple requires that you accompany your little one for each entire session.

Apple will provide all the necessary hardware and software for each fun-filled indoctrination education session, but you're free to bring your own, if you'd prefer. And don't forget to pack along Junior's "favorite photos, movies, and music."

Registration ends on July 6th, but if you want your kid to learn to live the iLife, we suggest you sign the li'l darling up immediately - we checked all 44 Apple Stores in California, and only a handful still had openings.

Apparently, a goodly number of devoted mommies and daddies are eager to pass their Jobsian creed on to the next generation. ®