Naomi Campbell MTV 'Minion' show canned

There is growing confusion surrounding a planned Naomi Campbell MTV show called The Minion in which the battling Streatham clotheshorse was to have sought out a new personal assistant.

According to some news reports, it was MTV which bitchslapped the project because Ms Campbell wouldn't return its calls. A source said: "Producers were on the phone with her all the time, setting up the show with her and her manager - but then last week MTV stopped getting their calls returned. The show is pulped. They don't understand why Naomi won't call back."

However, while another MTV insider declared elsewhere that "the show is still in production", the feisty supermodel's rep countered: "That is not true. There is no show."

Sadly, then, it appears we may never know quite how Naomi selects her minions. The word on the street is that the ability to search for Calvin Klein jeans while wearing 60lbs of Kevlar body armour and with a sharp eye out for flying mobile devices is a required skill.

Accordingly, we suggest Ms Campbell places a small ad in mercenaries' required reading Soldier of Fortune magazine, although we can't help feeling many of its subscribers might prefer a year guarding the Iraqi parliament's cafeteria to assisting Sarf London's most celebrated hotspot. ®