Readers indulge in lappy-slapping

Poll result We can only wonder what the 11k+ of you, our beloved readers, who took the time to vote in our poll (now closed) to determine the future of the word "lappy" on El Reg were supposed to be doing with your valuable time, but the results are in and the people have spoken.

However, before the moment of truth arrives, we thought we'd share a few further thoughts on this and related buzzterms. Take it away Chris:

I have had two laptops that I have given the name "Lappy" to and one small one that is known as "Lappia" that I gave to the misses.

Suggestion: get out more. Onwards...

This word has to go, quite apart from the fact that where I live in Zürich, 'lappy' is a term for an idiot!

Adrian

That makes perfect sense. Thanks for the enlightenment.

Well, I'm guessing that Stuart Van Onselen isn't an Englishman (or Briton, or what ever we like to call ourselves these days), but I'd like to point out that El Reg is a British site (hence the .co.uk domain name), so any one complaining about the language used (colloquial or otherwise) should really come up with some proper and correct syntactic or grammatical criticism, or just keep their cake hole belted shut.

Colloquial terms like "mobe" or "lappy", among other things, are what make El Reg "El Reg", so if they're all band by a bunch of plonkers who can see the fun of it, our favorite portal will just end up like another bland pit of IT news.

If it carries on like this, the next thing will be a vote on colour vs. the dyslexic version "color". And then the world will end in a fireball of galactic proportions...

Cheers!

Dameon Wagner

I can pick the phone up to some of our most IT illiterate users and use the phrase 'Lappy' with them knowing exactly what I mean. I've been using the phrase for the last 12 years with similar results.

I wonder if Mr Van Onselen objects to the shortening of Telephone to 'phone? Would asking him to pass me the 'Remote for the Telly' have me fixed with a stern stare until I requested the "Remote Control Unit for the Television?"

Would you be running the same poll if I wrote in to complain about the use of the phrase "Cell" to refer to mobiles just because it's common in the US? Whilst you're at it, can you not use 'Gas' to refer to petrol ever, as I now equate that with LPG.

That'd be brill, 'ta.

Chris Caines

Right, that's enough lappy. Let's have a few more barbarisms which might benefit from the Vulture Central treatment:

You think 'Lappy' is bad, you know nothing try 'Craptop' on for size!!!

Fluffy.

We'd rather not, ta very much.

I thinks "crims" should be added to the list of no-no words.

http://www.theregister.com/2006/03/14/exploding_atm_attack/

Andy King

And "blaggers"?

Can you also ban the use of the word 'Punter'?

Or at least restrict it's use to once per article.

Mike Tree

Let's do a deal - one per article unless its a UK broadband goes titsup story, in which case we'll allow a five-punters-per-piece limit...

While your at it, could you please ban that bastard non-word in increasingly common usage across the atlantic: "webinar".

thanks, jon lawrence

Hideous. Mercifully, a quick search of our site reveals no results for this monstrous word.

Like, I suspect, the majority of your readers, I really don't give a damn whether 'lappy' gets used or not - but offering us a chance to in any way screw with your writers' day is a red rag to a bull.

Can we next have a vote on, say, adjectives beginning with a vowel?

Tom Melly

No, but we might have a one-day proscription on words beginning with "p" - which would be a right palaver carry-on for Tim Richardson were BT's broadband punters valued customers hit by a particularly especially problematic troublesome power electricity outage.

And whilst we're banning the use of the word lappy kindly also denounce the use of spready as a former manager of mine used to call spreadsheets. Oft could be heard the call "have you updated the spready mate..." shortly followed by the tech staff tutting there shared disapproval and loathing

James Gardner

This disgraceful abuse of the language sounds a bit Oz to us, (Aussie, bikie, polly, etc, etc), although readers should be warned that the word tarpaulin is not - in Melbourne at least - abbreviated to "tarpie" or even "tarpo" making it the only English word Down Under which has no labour-saving two-syllable equivalent. Our favourite? Rhododendron, as in the phrase: "You've got a lovely display of rhodos there mate."

But we digress. In case you're wondering, here's the alleged original of "lappy":

Strongbad has been using a "Lappy" for years (his is a 486).

See: http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html

Before that he had a "Compy" 386, but it got broken....

Colin D. (and lots of other readers, thanks for the tip-off)

Almost interesting. How about a word from the man responsible?

Hey crap for brains,

I invented the name "Lappy". Don't dis my vocabulary.

StrongBad

Crap for brains, moi? We'll do better than dis your vocab me old china, we'll airbrush it from history, and here's why:

Should El Reg prohibit the use of the word "lappy"?

Yes: 7,069 (62 per cent)
No: 4,315 (38 per cent)

Total votes cast: 11,384.

So there you have it. As you read this, lexicographical death squads are trawling the Reg and throwing all examples of "lappy" into the back of a truck for later "disposal". Thanks to all of you who took part and remember: be vigilant. The forces of linguistic darkness never sleep. ®