No live TV birth for Dutch Big Brother

There is hope for humanity after all - the Dutch authorities have ruled that the preganant woman currently appearing in human zoo Big Brother will not be allowed to give birth on live TV.

This welcome news comes in the wake of our recent report that Talpa TV - run by former Endemol lead suit John de Mol, and responsible for this up-the-duff bruhaha - was asking viewers to vote of which of five pilots should be developed into a full-blown series. Among the delights on offer was I Want Your Child And Nothing Else, featuring a woman seeking a sperm donor for a TV insemination spectacular.

Now, though, Talpa's worst excesses have been curbed with the Dutch Social Affairs ministry ruling that BB particpant Tanja will not be dropping her sprog live. Furthermore, according to the BBC, "the baby will only be able to be on screen once a day for eight days and must be kept in a separate room with no cameras".

A ministry statement declared: "The mother of the child that stays in the Big Brother house will have free access to the baby's room. The same goes for a caregiver who is not part of the show, presumably one of the [child's] grandmothers." The rug rat will also be able to leave the house accompanied by a relative.

Of course, as Talpa points out, Tanja might yet be voted out before the happy event, thereby bringing the whole sorry affair to a premature conclusion. We can but hope. ®