Get Carter more boring than En Carta

It had to happen. Spurred on by the success of British gangster flicks and inspired no doubt by Madonna's recent conversion to anglophilia, Hollywood has sunk to new lows with its remake of classic film Get Carter.

A moment of casting madness put Sly Stallone in the title role, originally played by Michael Caine. Stallone, who acting repertoire runs the entire gamut of emotions from a to a, has in recent years attracted the odium of cinema audiences with his inspired one-dimensional portrayal of comic-book hero Judge Dredd.

An advance screening of the film here at Vulture Central ended in Tony 'Nine Hats' Smith having to be restrained from leaving the office with a gun shouting "I'll have you Stallone you bleedin' slag." Cub reporter Lucy Sherriff failed to moderate his wrath, despite pleas of "leave it Nines he just ain't worth it." Both were later sent home early in a cab.

With a rack of British gangster films currently in production, including Leave it, Shut it, Fag Guv? and Want some?, it's only a matter of time before we see Leonardo di Caprio as Harold Shand in The Long Good Friday 2000. You're having a laugh aincha?