Dori-no! PepsiCo boss says biz is planning to sell lady crisps
Because girls don't like to lick their fingers or drink the crumbs
Poll The boss of PepsiCo – the parent company of Doritos – has suggested women need their own lady crisps, apparently so they can keep their mouths quiet and their fingers clean.
Indra Nooyi told Freakonomics Radio that "young guys" will happily lick the orange dust off their fingers and guzzle down the broken bits of crisps at the bottom of the packet.
Women, the delicate flowers that they are, won't – no matter how much they want to. And they definitely don't want to make too much noise with their crunching.
"As you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don't want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom," Nooyi said last week.
"Women would love to do the same, but they don't. They don't like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don't lick their fingers generously and they don't like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth," she went on to claim – having clearly never seen El Reg's female staffers eat a pack.
Nooyi – not deterred by the frosty reception for other "female-friendly" products (Bic for her, anyone?) over the years – said the company was planning to launch "snacks for women that can be designed and packaged differently".
That means handbag-sized packets, which is great news for women who until now have had to take a separate tote bag to carry their oversized crisps.
Nooyi's comments have gone down as well as you'd expect with the Twitterati.
Women: we want equal pay and equal rights and for men to stop abusing us— Luce (@Lucinda_Stars) February 5, 2018
World : Well we'll think about it
World: here you can have some crisps that don't crunch.
Although some people have realised this means standard crisps might have other uses.
Always keep a pack of crisps on you. That way if you ever get surrounded by a pack of women you can scare them off with the crunch.— Ashley Haden (@ashleyhaden) February 5, 2018
But tell us what you think – are you a delicate lady crisp nibbler or a dedicated man snack muncher? ®