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Has Canadian justice gone too far? Cops punish drunk drivers with NICKELBACK
# 'Cause we all just wanna be big Canuck stars / And live in hilltop houses driving 15 cars
Police in Canada says it will be punishing drunk drivers by not only arresting them, but forcing them to listen to corporate boy band Nickelback on the way to the cop shop.
A Facebook post from the Kensington Police Department of Prince Edward Island warns would-be partiers in the Great White North to avoid getting behind the wheel tipsy, lest they be caught, booked and serenaded by the 21st century's discount Bon Jovi.
"Now now, no need to thank us," the police warn. "We figure if are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking, then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you."
This on top of the criminal charges and suspended license penalties the police normally file against drunk drivers.
Since their peak in the early 2000s, Nickelback has achieved a sort of notoriety as the popular punching bag of anyone looking to take a shot at the sorry state of rock music during those years. The Canadian quartet was declared by Rolling Stone magazine to be the second worst band of the 90s (behind only Creed). Here's a taste of their musical output:
Though some have argued that the forced-listening of music constitutes cruel and unusual punishment, military and intelligence agencies have long used uninvited broadcasts as a potent form of psychological warfare.
In 2008, it was revealed that one of the methods guards used at the US military's Guantanamo Bay Prison to keep detainees in line was frequent broadcasts of heavy metal music. German soldiers fighting in the siege of Stalingrad during World War II were subjected to tango music recordings from the Red Army.
True to form, the Kensington Police are being considerably more polite with their own threats of sensory bombardment. They say that currently the department's copy of Nickelback's 2001 album Silver Side Up will remain safely wrapped in plastic should nobody in the town be caught driving under the influence.
"So please, let's not ruin a perfectly good unopened copy of Nickelback," the police offer.
"You don't drink and drive and we won't make you listen to it." ®
Biting the hand that feeds IT
