New measurement alert. The Pogba: 1,200Pg = NHS annual budget

You gotta have standards

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - JULY 04, 2014: Pogba of France and Hoewedes of Germany during the World Cup Quarter-finals game between France and Germany in the Estadio Maracana. NO USE IN BRAZIL.

Reg Standards Bureau Reporting on NHS expenditure today, the BBC's health correspondent Nick Triggle coined The Register's newest unit of measurement: The Pogba (Pg).

The NHS is the second biggest area of public spending behind welfare. Last year, the Treasury handed over £118bn to the Department of Health in England - that is enough to buy more than 1,200 Paul Pogbas, the most expensive football player on the planet.

While we are unsure how many Paul Pogbas there are in the world, it is unlikely that 1,200 of them are each of the same value, and therefore it is important to note that 1Pg is equal to the value of Paul Labile Pogba, the professional footballer, during a very specific timeframe.

Therefore it may not be inferred that 1,200Pg is equal to the value of 1,200 Paul Pogbas.

1Pg is worth the approximate £89,300,000 when Manchester United paid as much to re-acquire their academy product from Juventus on 8 August 2016, but given the volatility of both the Sterling and footballers, it must be realised that 1Pg is not necessarily now worth £89.3m, nor would any other man called Paul Pogba be worth £89.3m.

So, while 1Pg is equal to £89.3m, 2Pg does not necessarily equal £178.6m. For instance, the second Paul Pogba could be an expensive and lazy sysadmin from Luton who is worth -£2,000 annually due to his habits of ordering office pizza from petty cash. Such volatility also applies to each Pg up until 1,200Pgs, which according to the BBC is less than £118bn.

Typically the arbitrary nature of such a measurement would make it unsuitable for inclusion within the International System of Units, but here at the Reg Standards Soviet we will always endeavour to right the wrongful application of offbeat unit conversions.

This story was typed at 0.000032 per cent of the maximum velocity of a sheep in a vacuum. ®


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