Assange returns to Earth

Questions are being asked why no one has ever seen pallid, 11*-fingered WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange and NASA ‘naut Jeff Williams in the same room at the same time, after sharp-eyed observers noted the pair's startling physical resemblance.

Jeff Williams (Photo credit: NASA TV) and Julian Assange (photo credit: Espen Moe licensed under CC 2.0 – cropped)

Williams Assange has apparently spent the last four years and three months holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy after he sought political asylum following a decision by the UK court to extradite him to Sweden to face questioning over allegations of sexual molestation.

Similarly, Assange Williams has spent a lot of time in confined conditions - this week he returned to Earth after living for a record 534 days aboard the International Space Station (ISS).

The ’naut first flew to the ISS in 2000 when it was still under construction, six years before Assange registered the website and published the first document. Since 2007, Assange has been the public face of the website.

*Yes, 11. Look closer... No don't look there. Look around my... You're under.

It's almost as if they were taking turns in the public eye – while being careful never to be seen out and about at the same time....

Assange, or is it Williams, has always been pale, whether or not he's ever been interesting. In fact, after his spell confined to South Kensington, Julian is positively mushroom-like. He even has a special lamp.

It just makes us think of Quatermass' first outing, which ended up with him pleading with a returned astronaut who was now half-man, half-plant. Surely we're not seeing something similar here? Half-man, half-mushroom, half...leak? ®