W*nkers of the world unite to SAVE THE PLANET one jerk-off at a time
Pornhub's new hardware seeks to pump up the power
A standout smut peddler wants its customers to take a shot at saving the planet with a kinetic power generator, tastefully dubbed the Wankband, which uses the wrist action favoured by onanists.
"At Pornhub, we're always thinking of ways to improve the user experience and world as a whole," said Corey Price, vice president of Pornhub.
"This is how we came up with Wankband, a wearable technology that enables users to create and harvest energy from their 'daily routines' to power, for example, a smartphone – or depending on how long one's routine, a smartphone and a tablet. This could have a major impact on power consumption and give much pleasure to Mother Nature."
The firm's bold thrust into power generation uses some pretty simple technology; an up-and-down movement rocks a small ball in its tube with the trickle of juice generated being stored in the wristband. Phones or tablets can then access the hard stuff via a micro-USB slot.
A representative from Pornhub told The Register that "a single session" with the Wankband should generate enough power for a 15 minute smartphone conversation or an hour's worth of standby time – which suggest its testers are either really good at it or really, really bad at it.
According to the company, the advice is unisex – it works just as well for bean-flicking women looking to stroke up their systems as for men looking to jack up their personal power generation. It also provides a figleaf for those caught in the act who can claim they are taking planet protection into their own hands.
Those keen to try the device can join Pornhub's “Wanking Warriors program” and sign up as Be(a)ter testers – that's the site's pun, not ours. ®