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Oh, lordy! 'I do not begin to understand the dark cloud. LEGISLATE NOW'

Plus: Big Blue says mass layoff rumour is 'TOTALLY LUDICROUS'

QuoTW This was the week Google's Youtube got caught out at its own game, when a classical musician had the temerity to record the company's bullying tactics and post the evidence online.

Zoë Keating told fans that YouTube had given her an offer she couldn't refuse: if she didn't sign Google's new terms, it would stop paying her but continue to use Keating's music on the vid-sharing site.

When the company disputed her version of events, Keating posted a transcript of the recording with a Google rep threatening to "block" her if she didn't sign. He told her:

Yeah, it’s harsh and trust me, it is really difficult for me to have this conversation with all of my partners but we’re really, what we’re trying to do is basically create a new revenue stream on top of what exists on the platform today.

You have to spare some sympathy for poor Google's new revenue streams, though. That was particularly apparent later in the week when the Chocolate Factory reported revenue growth of 15.3 per cent to $18.10bn. But sadly that wasn't enough for analysts, who had expected quarterly revenues of $18.46bn at the Chocolate Factory. There's just no pleasing some people.

Elsewhere, the internet echo chamber was in full force this week following a report from Forbes that Big Blue was planning to cut 26 per cent of its workforce – that's more than 111,000 jobs, fact fans.

It followed the earlier revelation by El Chan that Big Blue was planning its largest ever re-org. IBM initially appeared tight-lipped as to the extent of its cuts programme.

But eventually it came out with this not-too-amused statement:

IBM does not comment on rumours or speculation. However, we’ll make an exception when the speculation is stupid. That’s the case here, where an industry gadfly is trying to make noise about how IBM is about to lay off 26 percent of its workforce.

That’s over 100,000 people, which is totally ludicrous.

Hmmm. Perhaps if it had handled the whole programme in a slightly more open way, such "stupid speculation" wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Meanwhile, back in Blighty the Scouts' Association took the decision to take down its central database containing the records of nearly half-a-million young people and adults, after discovering a "potential security vulnerability." It said the decision was made "to ensure that the potential vulnerability cannot be exploited."

That would be the same database that El Reg previously exposed as being the cause of serious concerns to dyb-dyb-dob-dob members because of its security flaws.

And just when you thought the hated Care.data scheme intended to slurp up GP information and share it with world+dog couldn't get any worse, El Reg discovered a cockup in the opt-out process meaning hundreds of thousands of NHS patients would not be invited to a number of cancer-related screenings simply because they objected to having their data scooped up by the health service.

The system cannot differentiate between not wanting your data passed on to a corporation, and allowing it to be passed on to nationally-run care programmes.

Evidence submitted to Parliament stated:

A member of the public who has registered a "Type 2" objection in its present form may not have understood that this will mean that as a result, they will not be approached for direct care services like e-prescribing, bowel screening, e-referrals or e-pathology reporting.

Nice.

On the subject of being evil the use of personal data, Blighty's often-toothless data watchdog the Information Commissioner's Office finally managed to force Google to change its privacy policy.

The ICO had been fighting Google's "too vague" explanations for how it uses personal data gathered from its web services and products.

In a rare victory, Steve Eckersley, head of enforcement at the ICO, sighed the agreement marked "a significant step forward" following "a long investigation and extensive dialogue" with the search giant.

One step at a time for the little guy, we guess.

And finally, four peers who attempted to cram Home Secretary Theresa May's widely discredited Snoopers' Charter into the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill gave us a lorra laughs with their clueless chatter about WhatsApp jihadists, untraceable VoIP transmissions and "the dark cloud". ®

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