Reg bloke zips through an iPHONE 6 queue from ZERO to 60 SECONDS
Arr, he'm used t'magic o' fast forrard, d'ye see
Vid World+Dog descended upon the flagship London Apple Store today in an attempt to get their sweaty mitts on the phabulous new iPhone 6 Plus.
This Register reporter was on hand a little after the shop opened, to get a sense of why on earth people would queue for weeks just for the opportunity to buy a phone which is only incrementally better than the one before. Or a little larger, if you're talking about the iPhone 6 Plus.
The queue provided a snapshot of multicultural Britain, with only a few hardy British-born folk waiting patiently in line.
When asked how long he had been here, one line-waiter replied: "Five years."
Of course, we meant the queue, not Britain.
We talked to people from Syria, Tajikistan, India, Iraq, China, Spain and even Doncaster, which risked being handed over to the Scots if they voted for independence yesterday due to a bizarre quirk of history.
Some fanbois (for there were precious few fangurlz on the scene) told us some enterprising souls had walked up and down the line just after buying a new phone, offering it for sale at a horrifically marked up price.
There was some disagreement about how intense the interest in the iPhone 6 has been this year. Some of the shiny happy Apple folk said it was the longest line they had ever seen, whilst people in the queue said they had waited a relatively meagre 12 hours and looked certain to get their mitts on an iPhone 6, although the larger iPhone 6 Plus sold out almost immediately.
According to a survey of the queue from Gadget insurer Protect Your Bubble, 41 per cent of Apple fans were waiting in line for the iPhone 6 Plus, 30 per cent for the iPhone 6 and 29 per cent were queuing for both handsets.
"It's like heroin," said 23-year-old Mohammed Islam when we asked why on earth he had stood on a street overnight to get a new iPhone. "You just need to get your hands on it."
We asked 19-year-old Ali why he thought there were no women in the queue.
"They can't handle it," he said. "Either that or they've got something better to do."
ITV News were on hand to snap a picture of the first pair to get their hands on the new phones. What this plucky duo lack in fashion sense they more than make up for in tenacity, having queued for days.
Fittingly, the first thing the pair did was take a selfie. Which, if we're being churlish, they could have done with the old iPhone. And several models before that. But hey, this is Apple. Normal rules do not apply. ®