Feeds

REGULAR FISTING is GOOD for your HEALTH, says respected surveyor

Wagwan, bruv, come bump the rock with me like Ali G, init

Intelligent flash storage arrays

In the 21st Century it seems there are more ways to shake hands than there are Facebook gender categories (which number 56, if you're wondering). So what's an Englishman to do when faced with this breakdown of traditional decorum?

Boffins at Aberystwyth University have suggested you make like Ali G and master the art of the fist bump, which involves bumping your clenched fist against a chum's. It's healthier, apparently, and helps prevent the spread of mitt-borne bacteria like E coli.

Sadly though, new research from the survey bods at YouGov has revealed that British folk haven't taken to fist-bumping. Just two per cent of Blighty's residents employ this new-fangled form of greeting, compared to seven per cent of Americans.

Younger people (the filthy swines) are more likely to fist than grown-ups, with just 65 per cent using traditional handshakes compared to 85 per cent of the over-60s.

The popularity of punch-based greetings was boosted when Barack and Michelle Obama publicly fisted each other.

YouGov explained: "The fist bump has become politicised in the United States, where President Barack Obama, a Democrat, has made the fist bump part of his personal brand. A TV anchor's characterization of the president's gesture as a 'terrorist fist jab' was famously satirised on the cover of New Yorker magazine."

Republicans are particularly opposed to fist-bumping, with just three per cent using it versus nine per cent of Democrats.

This correspondent's last use of the fistbump technique came when he told a coffee shop worker about his penchant for a genre of aggressive British electronic music called grime.

"That is sick," the worker said with his mitt held aloft suggestively. "You don't look like a grime man."

Your scribe then awkwardly, yet affectionately, fisted the poor chap in front of all his colleagues.

El Reg doesn't like to quote the Khmer Rouge in diapers Wikipedia, but whilst the editor is looking the other way we'd like to draw your attention to its page dedicated to fist-bumping.

"A fist bump is also called dap, pound, fist pound, brofist, donsafe, spudding, fo' knucks, box, Bust, pound dogg, props, Bones, respect knuckles, bumping the rock, or knuckle crunching," its crowdsourced mob wrote.

"Ali G is regularly seen giving the greeting, which is popular amongst UK lovers of hip-hop culture, where it is also nicknamed 'nudging' and 'spudding'."

So now you know. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.