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Russia: There is a SPACECRAFT full of LIZARDS in orbit above Earth and WE control it

Finally, the gecko zero gravity orgy can begin

By Frank Wouters, licensed under CC 2.0

It's all systems gecko up in space, after the Russians finally regained control of a spacecraft packed full of horny lizards.

The world's eyes anxiously turned towards Russia last Friday as it was revealed its space scientists had lost control of the satellite Foton-M4, which was on a mission to shoot the world's first zero-gravity gecko porn.

Russian boffins have now regained full control of the spacecraft, according to an official announcement from Roscosmos, the Russian space agency.

If you'll forgive Google Translate's woeful Russian, Roscosmos' Oleg Ostapenko said: "Connection established, conducted backup programs in accordance with the plan. We're figuring out the causes that gave rise to [the] abnormal situation."

The Russians managed to get a grip of Foton-M4 on Saturday, after they lost control on 19 June.

“We have conducted several communication sessions, and the link is stable,” Roscosmos chief Oleg Ostapenko told Russia Today.

“We are sure that we will be able to conduct 90 per cent of what we initially planned.”

It is thought the problem was down to a mechanical fault or perhaps a collision with some debris.

Scientists will now begin shooting a porno using multiple on-board cameras starring one lucky male gecko and four females. Apparently, it is being made to test the effects of zero gravity on the animal's reproduction. But we bet that's what all lizard porn lovers say. ®

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