Feeds

iPhone user SHAMEGASM: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

Quick, iVibe, before mum sees

Security for virtualized datacentres

The developer of a vibrator app has told guilty self-touching fanbois that it cannot wipe away their sinful past.

Users flocked to Apple's App Store to write five-star reviews of a free app called iVibe Massager. Only it seems they were not basking in post-orgasmic bliss, but wallowing in shame.

They tried to barter with the app's developer, Robot Mouse, offering to trade excellent reviews for a complete removal of the purchase from their iTunes history.

One wrote: "I saw this on a website with a friend and thought it was funny and she downloaded it and I don't want my parents to take it the wrong way!"

Since then though, the reviews seem to have disappeared. On the app store, the developers have also issued the following advice to guilty phone fiddlers:

"ATTENTION! If you wish to remove this app from your purchase list, please contact apple support. We have nothing to do with your purchase list and therefore CANNOT remove anything."

The iVibe app uses the iPhone and other mobiles into a "great personal massager" that can be used on "personal areas to spice up your life".

A picture of the begging reviews was posted on Instagram by someone called Lauren Greenberg, who describes herself with the words: "TV Writer. In a really good place emotionally."

Whilst some iVibe downloaders felt guilt, others felt no sensation at all due to iPhone's apparently limited vibrating capacity.

Here's what the expert self-pleasurers at a YouTube show called The Orgasm Challenge had to say about iVibe:

Apparently, the main problem with using an iPhone as a sex toy is "vagina dialling". If all this iMasturbing catches on, maybe Apple could rename its video-calling service SitOnMyFaceTime. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week
Rebranded OS reportedly set to be flung open by Redmond
Business is back, baby! Hasta la VISTA, Win 8... Oh, yeah, Windows 9
Forget touchscreen millennials, Microsoft goes for mouse crowd
SMASH the Bash bug! Apple and Red Hat scramble for patch batches
'Applying multiple security updates is extremely difficult'
Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR
Apple kills 'upgrade'. Hey, Microsoft. You sure you want to be like these guys?
ARM gives Internet of Things a piece of its mind – the Cortex-M7
32-bit core packs some DSP for VIP IoT CPU LOL
Lotus Notes inventor Ozzie invents app to talk to people on your phone
Imagine that. Startup floats with voice collab app for Win iPhone
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.