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London Tech Week: All for the luvvies and the joke's on you, taxpayers

It's total nonsense - yet we're the ones funding it

Estate agents have provided more jobs than the "tech" sector - despite UK.gov cooking the books

"Look closer, and you'll notice many push the definition of what we understand as a tech company," explained Cheshire, who spotted that TV production company Endemol in Shepherd's Bush was counted as a tech company. So too, we must add, is "Croydon Tech City" - another quango. So much for Shoreditch. The list included China Mobile, Facebook and BuzzFeed, and fewer than a third of the 97 firms cited were UK companies. So much for UK startups.

In a longer analysis, Ed Conway explained the fraud that "tech" was driving growth. Conway's analysis is fascinating, and actually explains where the jobs are being created.

As I pointed out last December, the definition of “tech” has been expanded enormously. Retailers are now tech businesses. The Bank of England is a tech business. So is Boots the chemist. We can thank the out-of-control Cabinet Office - the people behind the Government Digital Service (GDS) and Lily Cole's wishing well - for this.

The GDS also paid (with your money) for the dubious new index, and declared at the time: "The new index is more representative of companies operating in the sector with weightings in key service areas such as travel and leisure, media and general retailers as well as traditional software and technology stocks".

However, this makes claims made for tech worthless.

The jobs growth was actually services-led, and much of this was servicing property and retail. On closer examination the job figures also include management consultancy and office admin roles.

Nor was it "startup led", as the luvvies' fantasy would maintain. Jobs classified as “activities of head offices; management consultancy”, have increased by 42 per cent since 2009.

In fact, if we're to interpret the SIC codes honestly, real estate sales (40,000) created more jobs than information technology (38,000)

"The IT sector’s contribution to overall annual GDP actually dropped from 2.9% to 2.8%," writes Conway. "Anyone trying to claim that it was largely, or even solely, responsible for the recovery is bananas," he concludes .

As BBC technology correspondent Rory Cellan-Jones points out, journalists were unable to examine the report's methodology - because they didn't release the reports. We had to make do with a glossy multipage infographic, produced by ... guess what? A glorified PR agency called London & Partners, who happened to be "sponsoring" London Tech Week.

It also sponsored the launch media party last night, on a boat. Our mole noted that at the end of the evening:

"They were giving away cocktails, margaritas and tequila sunrises at the end because they’d not spent the bar tab. I think they were expecting a crush rather than the small crowd who showed up."

Ker-ching! ®

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