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Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Gobby assistant to tell world 'accurate' things you're 'uncomfortable sharing'

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Nobody ever reads click-through licences. Especially not on phones, where the legalese can run to hundreds of pages. But oh, what gems can be found in there.

We found this by accident in the click-through licence to use the Windows Phone 8.1 Developer Preview. It refers to the new "intelligent assistant", Cortana.

We think you'll enjoy it as much as we did.

For Lynx browser users and readers on WAP connections, here's what it says.

"Like a real-world personal assistant, sometimes Cortana may (i) draw an inaccurate conclusion about what is important to you, (ii) infer information that accurately reflects you but that you are uncomfortable sharing with others, or (iii) remember some information about you that is no longer true or relevant today. Microsoft does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, reliability, availability or timeliness of inferences and personalized experiences provided by Cortana."

Yes. Just like "a real personal assistant". Except not one that anyone would ever hire. Imagine the interview process..."

Recruiter - "So it says here you're a Personal Assistant. What qualifies you for the job?"

Applicant - "Well, I won't do you want. I'll get stuff badly wrong. I'll bring up old stuff that's completely misleading."

Recruiter - "Anything else?"

Applicant - "Sure. I'll even do things you don't want me to do at all, or only half-finish the job you want. And, sometimes I won't even turn up. Basically I'm a really creepy, inappropriately honest drunk."

Recruiter - "Fantastic. The job's yours!"

At least Cortana won't sell your emails to the newspapers.

That option comes in version 2.0. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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