Feeds

Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Gobby assistant to tell world 'accurate' things you're 'uncomfortable sharing'

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Nobody ever reads click-through licences. Especially not on phones, where the legalese can run to hundreds of pages. But oh, what gems can be found in there.

We found this by accident in the click-through licence to use the Windows Phone 8.1 Developer Preview. It refers to the new "intelligent assistant", Cortana.

We think you'll enjoy it as much as we did.

For Lynx browser users and readers on WAP connections, here's what it says.

"Like a real-world personal assistant, sometimes Cortana may (i) draw an inaccurate conclusion about what is important to you, (ii) infer information that accurately reflects you but that you are uncomfortable sharing with others, or (iii) remember some information about you that is no longer true or relevant today. Microsoft does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, reliability, availability or timeliness of inferences and personalized experiences provided by Cortana."

Yes. Just like "a real personal assistant". Except not one that anyone would ever hire. Imagine the interview process..."

Recruiter - "So it says here you're a Personal Assistant. What qualifies you for the job?"

Applicant - "Well, I won't do you want. I'll get stuff badly wrong. I'll bring up old stuff that's completely misleading."

Recruiter - "Anything else?"

Applicant - "Sure. I'll even do things you don't want me to do at all, or only half-finish the job you want. And, sometimes I won't even turn up. Basically I'm a really creepy, inappropriately honest drunk."

Recruiter - "Fantastic. The job's yours!"

At least Cortana won't sell your emails to the newspapers.

That option comes in version 2.0. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Download alert: Nearly ALL top 100 Android, iOS paid apps hacked
Attack of the Clones? Yeah, but much, much scarier – report
Euro Parliament VOTES to BREAK UP GOOGLE. Er, OK then
It CANNA do it, captain.They DON'T have the POWER!
NSA SOURCE CODE LEAK: Information slurp tools to appear online
Now you can run your own intelligence agency
Post-Microsoft, post-PC programming: The portable REVOLUTION
Code jockeys: count up and grab your fabulous tablets
Microsoft: Your Linux Docker containers are now OURS to command
New tool lets admins wrangle Linux apps from Windows
prev story

Whitepapers

10 ways wire data helps conquer IT complexity
IT teams can automatically detect problems across the IT environment, spot data theft, select unique pieces of transaction payloads to send to a data source, and more.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
10 threats to successful enterprise endpoint backup
10 threats to a successful backup including issues with BYOD, slow backups and ineffective security.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Website security in corporate America
Find out how you rank among other IT managers testing your website's vulnerabilities.