Feeds

Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Gobby assistant to tell world 'accurate' things you're 'uncomfortable sharing'

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Nobody ever reads click-through licences. Especially not on phones, where the legalese can run to hundreds of pages. But oh, what gems can be found in there.

We found this by accident in the click-through licence to use the Windows Phone 8.1 Developer Preview. It refers to the new "intelligent assistant", Cortana.

We think you'll enjoy it as much as we did.

For Lynx browser users and readers on WAP connections, here's what it says.

"Like a real-world personal assistant, sometimes Cortana may (i) draw an inaccurate conclusion about what is important to you, (ii) infer information that accurately reflects you but that you are uncomfortable sharing with others, or (iii) remember some information about you that is no longer true or relevant today. Microsoft does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, reliability, availability or timeliness of inferences and personalized experiences provided by Cortana."

Yes. Just like "a real personal assistant". Except not one that anyone would ever hire. Imagine the interview process..."

Recruiter - "So it says here you're a Personal Assistant. What qualifies you for the job?"

Applicant - "Well, I won't do you want. I'll get stuff badly wrong. I'll bring up old stuff that's completely misleading."

Recruiter - "Anything else?"

Applicant - "Sure. I'll even do things you don't want me to do at all, or only half-finish the job you want. And, sometimes I won't even turn up. Basically I'm a really creepy, inappropriately honest drunk."

Recruiter - "Fantastic. The job's yours!"

At least Cortana won't sell your emails to the newspapers.

That option comes in version 2.0. ®

Bridging the IT gap between rising business demands and ageing tools

More from The Register

next story
NO MORE ALL CAPS and other pleasures of Visual Studio 14
Unpicking a packed preview that breaks down ASP.NET
Cheer up, Nokia fans. It can start making mobes again in 18 months
The real winner of the Nokia sale is *drumroll* ... Nokia
Mozilla fixes CRITICAL security holes in Firefox, urges v31 upgrade
Misc memory hazards 'could be exploited' - and guess what, one's a Javascript vuln
Put down that Oracle database patch: It could cost $23,000 per CPU
On-by-default INMEMORY tech a boon for developers ... as long as they can afford it
Google shows off new Chrome OS look
Athena springs full-grown from Chromium project's head
Apple: We'll unleash OS X Yosemite beta on the MASSES on 24 July
Starting today, regular fanbois will be guinea pigs, it tells Reg
HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert
Don't panic though – Apple's backdoor is not wide open to all, guru tells us
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.