Feeds

Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Gobby assistant to tell world 'accurate' things you're 'uncomfortable sharing'

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

Nobody ever reads click-through licences. Especially not on phones, where the legalese can run to hundreds of pages. But oh, what gems can be found in there.

We found this by accident in the click-through licence to use the Windows Phone 8.1 Developer Preview. It refers to the new "intelligent assistant", Cortana.

We think you'll enjoy it as much as we did.

For Lynx browser users and readers on WAP connections, here's what it says.

"Like a real-world personal assistant, sometimes Cortana may (i) draw an inaccurate conclusion about what is important to you, (ii) infer information that accurately reflects you but that you are uncomfortable sharing with others, or (iii) remember some information about you that is no longer true or relevant today. Microsoft does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, reliability, availability or timeliness of inferences and personalized experiences provided by Cortana."

Yes. Just like "a real personal assistant". Except not one that anyone would ever hire. Imagine the interview process..."

Recruiter - "So it says here you're a Personal Assistant. What qualifies you for the job?"

Applicant - "Well, I won't do you want. I'll get stuff badly wrong. I'll bring up old stuff that's completely misleading."

Recruiter - "Anything else?"

Applicant - "Sure. I'll even do things you don't want me to do at all, or only half-finish the job you want. And, sometimes I won't even turn up. Basically I'm a really creepy, inappropriately honest drunk."

Recruiter - "Fantastic. The job's yours!"

At least Cortana won't sell your emails to the newspapers.

That option comes in version 2.0. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV
Pureed-carrot-in-ice cream C++ surprise
China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
Told to cough up more details as antitrust probe goes deeper
Linux turns 23 and Linus Torvalds celebrates as only he can
No, not with swearing, but by controlling the release cycle
Scratched PC-dispatch patch patched, hatched in batch rematch
Windows security update fixed after triggering blue screens (and screams) of death
Windows 7 settles as Windows XP use finally starts to slip … a bit
And at the back of the field, Windows 8.1 is sprinting away from Windows 8
This is how I set about making a fortune with my own startup
Would you leave your well-paid job to chase your dream?
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?