Feeds

'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

Reports of Nork chanteuse's demise greatly exaggerated

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

We're delighted to announce that reports of the execution last year of North Korean chanteuse Hyon Song-wol appear to have been greatly exaggerated.

The former lover of Nork supremo Kim Jong-un was allegedly dragged before a firing squad along with fellow musicians on charges of "videotaping themselves having sex and selling the videos" and having "Bibles in their possession".

However, the North Koreans insist Hyon appeared alive and kicking at the at the "National Meeting of Artists" in Pyongyang last Friday, and have a video to prove it:

The blurb explains: "In 2013, a lot of western media reported false information about about the alleged murder of Hyon Song Wol, former singer of Pochonbo Electronic Ensemble and Wangjaesan Light Music Band.

"A milions of people believed that our government kills every single person for almost everything. Today, we're giving you a proof that Hyon Song Wol is ALIVE and that nobody was killed."

It chides: "See how you are being manipulated by western media and south Korean puppet regime, who is still giving false information about Democratic People's Repulic of Korea. Thruth will always win. No matter when."

In November last year, the international press followed its Hyon Song-wol explosive newsgasm by publishing unconfirmed reports that the Norks had topped 80 people for watching banned South Korean soap operas and smuggled DVDs of Desperate Housewives.

No doubt an official video of happy North Korean families enjoying unfettered access to Eva Longoria will surface in due course. In the meantime, cast you eyes over Hyon performing A Girl in the Saddle of a Steed, which demonstrates what attracted the Communist state's chubby tyrant to her in the first place:

®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
ePassport to Transnistria: NEXTIFYING the Nation State with BONG
Hey the Man, you can't geoblock distributed democracy
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists
Think psychopathy and BDSM dungeons, not desktops
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.