Feeds

'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

Reports of Nork chanteuse's demise greatly exaggerated

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

We're delighted to announce that reports of the execution last year of North Korean chanteuse Hyon Song-wol appear to have been greatly exaggerated.

The former lover of Nork supremo Kim Jong-un was allegedly dragged before a firing squad along with fellow musicians on charges of "videotaping themselves having sex and selling the videos" and having "Bibles in their possession".

However, the North Koreans insist Hyon appeared alive and kicking at the at the "National Meeting of Artists" in Pyongyang last Friday, and have a video to prove it:

The blurb explains: "In 2013, a lot of western media reported false information about about the alleged murder of Hyon Song Wol, former singer of Pochonbo Electronic Ensemble and Wangjaesan Light Music Band.

"A milions of people believed that our government kills every single person for almost everything. Today, we're giving you a proof that Hyon Song Wol is ALIVE and that nobody was killed."

It chides: "See how you are being manipulated by western media and south Korean puppet regime, who is still giving false information about Democratic People's Repulic of Korea. Thruth will always win. No matter when."

In November last year, the international press followed its Hyon Song-wol explosive newsgasm by publishing unconfirmed reports that the Norks had topped 80 people for watching banned South Korean soap operas and smuggled DVDs of Desperate Housewives.

No doubt an official video of happy North Korean families enjoying unfettered access to Eva Longoria will surface in due course. In the meantime, cast you eyes over Hyon performing A Girl in the Saddle of a Steed, which demonstrates what attracted the Communist state's chubby tyrant to her in the first place:

®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.