Feeds

Quid-a-day Reg nosh posse chap faces starvation diet

780 calories a day, Toby? You must be joking

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

As the El Reg Quid-a-Day Nosh Posse's Live Below the Line challenge enters its fourth day, we're delighted to report that team member Toby Sibley has resurfaced - albeit looking a little thinner than when we last spoke to him.

At the beginning of the week, Toby expressed doubts that he'd spend his £5 food budget wisely:

Toby's food stash for the week

Enough nosh for five days? Hmmmm....

Since then, he's been subsisting on meagre rations, including a tempting "lentil and carrot surprise". He admitted: "The surprise bit was really missing for this meal."

Toby's lentil and carrot surpise

No surprise here

Toby's soon-to-be sister-in-law (he's getting hitched on Saturday) described the dish as "a delicately hand-peeled carrot, nestling on a melange of rice and lentilles vertes", and here's the same thing avec oeuf frit:

Toby's rice, lentil and fried egg fritter

An effective way to fritter away your waistline

He noted: "For those wishing to recreate this masterpiece and want to know the recipe then all they need to do is donate some money and I will personally talk them through how I made it."

That's quite an offer, but it's doubtful he'll have sufficient strength to talk. Toby did a quick calculation of his food stockpile's total Calories* (click for a bigger version)...

Toby's Calorie calculation

...and that led him to a figure of 779.8 Calories a day. He head-scratched: "I'm not sure that can be right given that an average man needs 2,500 Calories each day to survive. The meagre calorie count would however account for why I'm feeling a bit lethargic and my brain seems to have gone down a couple of gears.

"Starvation is certainly on the horizon. I just hope I don't end up doing a girly swoon during the wedding ceremony due to a lack of calories. I'm currently thinking more about the wedding lunch than the ceremony itself."

A hungry Toby concluded: "I'm going to trust that as a professional journalist of the highest standing that you won’t include that in your update or I will be in trouble and strife with the soon to be wife."

No problem mate, my lips are sealed.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less
'Some might find this idea offensive' boffin admits
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE
Fossil find proves it first happened 385 million years ago
Human spacecraft dodge COMET CHUNKS pelting off Mars
Odyssey orbiter yet to report, though - comet's trailing trash poses new threat
You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data
Hear that, 'data journalists'? Our analytics prof holds forth
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.