Feeds

Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Charged with introducing .22 snubbie to penile facility. It wasn't firing blanks

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

A 19-year-old Tennessee girl cuffed earlier this week for allegedly driving with a suspended licence is in a spot more bother – after jail officers reportedly discovered a loaded .22 revolver in her vagina.

Dallas Archer's police mugshot

Pretty in pink: Dallas Archer's police mugshot

Dallas Archer was pulled over in Kingsport on Monday afternoon and hauled to the city jail, according to official police paperwork. During a search, a female officer identified an "unknown object" in the perp's crotch area, which following extraction turned out to be a "North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded)", as the cops' report puts it.

Archer is now facing "possession of a firearm, introduction into a penal facility* and possession of stolen property" raps. The latter charge is because the firearm was stolen back in 2013 from the car of 70-year-old John Souther.

When The Smoking Gun told Souther exactly where his $200 piece had turned up, he exclaimed: "Oh gosh."

The gun's owner expressed a wish to get his hands back on his four-incher, but suggested a "bath in bleach" may be in order.

Back in 2003, a Jamaican woman who retrieved her stolen mobile phone from the thief's vagina likewise declared she was "going to have it properly sanitized before using it again". However, one disgusted local chap declared: "Mi nuh wan' dat deh phone fi use again, mi would dash it weh." ®

Bootnote

* I actually first read that as "introduction into a penile facility", which makes perfect sense in the context.

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable
Learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.