Feeds

Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Charged with introducing .22 snubbie to penile facility. It wasn't firing blanks

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

A 19-year-old Tennessee girl cuffed earlier this week for allegedly driving with a suspended licence is in a spot more bother – after jail officers reportedly discovered a loaded .22 revolver in her vagina.

Dallas Archer's police mugshot

Pretty in pink: Dallas Archer's police mugshot

Dallas Archer was pulled over in Kingsport on Monday afternoon and hauled to the city jail, according to official police paperwork. During a search, a female officer identified an "unknown object" in the perp's crotch area, which following extraction turned out to be a "North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded)", as the cops' report puts it.

Archer is now facing "possession of a firearm, introduction into a penal facility* and possession of stolen property" raps. The latter charge is because the firearm was stolen back in 2013 from the car of 70-year-old John Souther.

When The Smoking Gun told Souther exactly where his $200 piece had turned up, he exclaimed: "Oh gosh."

The gun's owner expressed a wish to get his hands back on his four-incher, but suggested a "bath in bleach" may be in order.

Back in 2003, a Jamaican woman who retrieved her stolen mobile phone from the thief's vagina likewise declared she was "going to have it properly sanitized before using it again". However, one disgusted local chap declared: "Mi nuh wan' dat deh phone fi use again, mi would dash it weh." ®

Bootnote

* I actually first read that as "introduction into a penile facility", which makes perfect sense in the context.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.