Feeds

Irish plod biro outrage invites Limerick Limerick challenge

'There was a mean copper in Limerick...'

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Our piece yesterday on the Irish judge who got a tad shirty about a certain Limerick cop shop's lack of biros prompted a less than expected level of lyricism from our beloved commentards.

Surely, if there were ever an occasion to lovingly craft a snappy Limerick, this was it, so we're disappointed to report that just two readers rose to the challenge, viz: Ross K...

There was a judge from Limerick
Who had no time for cops and their gimmicks
If you have no pens
To sign in the crims
Then your victory will have been pyrrhic

...and Red Bren:

There was a mean copper in Limerick
Whose treatment of crims was sadistic
The suspects on bail
would land back in gaol
When he wouldn't let them use his Bic

Well, we put El Reg's best minds to the task, and here's what they came up with after several enthusiastically quaffed pints of Guinness:

There was an irate judge from Limerick
Who protested the garda's lack of Bic
He threatened the plod
Get some biros by god
Or you'll find yourselves right in the thick of it

We have no doubt that readers wishing to avoid work for half an hour or so today can come up with superior offerings, or perhaps a haiku in honour of the Limerick pen rumpus. Give it your best shot, and if there's enough linguistic fecundity forthcoming, we'll have a round-up on Friday.

As ever, you're competing for nothing more than everlasting internet glory, so poets shouldn't expect pints or deluxe Vulture Central biros* through the post, or indeed a word in the ear of Judge Eugene O'Kelly if they've been nailed on a writing-device-related public order offence. ®

Bootnote

*OK, that item doesn't actually exist. A couple of years back, the Register's Strategy Boutique mooted an advertising client Xmas jamboree bag containing said pen, a Vulture-themed iPhone cover, an exclusive lapdancing club VIP pass and two grams of crack cocaine.

Sadly, they just couldn't source the pens at a competitive price point.

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'
'I have benefited from the sacrifice of others'
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Mitigating web security risk with SSL certificates
Web-based systems are essential tools for running business processes and delivering services to customers.