Feeds

Irish plod biro outrage invites Limerick Limerick challenge

'There was a mean copper in Limerick...'

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Our piece yesterday on the Irish judge who got a tad shirty about a certain Limerick cop shop's lack of biros prompted a less than expected level of lyricism from our beloved commentards.

Surely, if there were ever an occasion to lovingly craft a snappy Limerick, this was it, so we're disappointed to report that just two readers rose to the challenge, viz: Ross K...

There was a judge from Limerick
Who had no time for cops and their gimmicks
If you have no pens
To sign in the crims
Then your victory will have been pyrrhic

...and Red Bren:

There was a mean copper in Limerick
Whose treatment of crims was sadistic
The suspects on bail
would land back in gaol
When he wouldn't let them use his Bic

Well, we put El Reg's best minds to the task, and here's what they came up with after several enthusiastically quaffed pints of Guinness:

There was an irate judge from Limerick
Who protested the garda's lack of Bic
He threatened the plod
Get some biros by god
Or you'll find yourselves right in the thick of it

We have no doubt that readers wishing to avoid work for half an hour or so today can come up with superior offerings, or perhaps a haiku in honour of the Limerick pen rumpus. Give it your best shot, and if there's enough linguistic fecundity forthcoming, we'll have a round-up on Friday.

As ever, you're competing for nothing more than everlasting internet glory, so poets shouldn't expect pints or deluxe Vulture Central biros* through the post, or indeed a word in the ear of Judge Eugene O'Kelly if they've been nailed on a writing-device-related public order offence. ®

Bootnote

*OK, that item doesn't actually exist. A couple of years back, the Register's Strategy Boutique mooted an advertising client Xmas jamboree bag containing said pen, a Vulture-themed iPhone cover, an exclusive lapdancing club VIP pass and two grams of crack cocaine.

Sadly, they just couldn't source the pens at a competitive price point.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.