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Irish plod biro outrage invites Limerick Limerick challenge

'There was a mean copper in Limerick...'

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Our piece yesterday on the Irish judge who got a tad shirty about a certain Limerick cop shop's lack of biros prompted a less than expected level of lyricism from our beloved commentards.

Surely, if there were ever an occasion to lovingly craft a snappy Limerick, this was it, so we're disappointed to report that just two readers rose to the challenge, viz: Ross K...

There was a judge from Limerick
Who had no time for cops and their gimmicks
If you have no pens
To sign in the crims
Then your victory will have been pyrrhic

...and Red Bren:

There was a mean copper in Limerick
Whose treatment of crims was sadistic
The suspects on bail
would land back in gaol
When he wouldn't let them use his Bic

Well, we put El Reg's best minds to the task, and here's what they came up with after several enthusiastically quaffed pints of Guinness:

There was an irate judge from Limerick
Who protested the garda's lack of Bic
He threatened the plod
Get some biros by god
Or you'll find yourselves right in the thick of it

We have no doubt that readers wishing to avoid work for half an hour or so today can come up with superior offerings, or perhaps a haiku in honour of the Limerick pen rumpus. Give it your best shot, and if there's enough linguistic fecundity forthcoming, we'll have a round-up on Friday.

As ever, you're competing for nothing more than everlasting internet glory, so poets shouldn't expect pints or deluxe Vulture Central biros* through the post, or indeed a word in the ear of Judge Eugene O'Kelly if they've been nailed on a writing-device-related public order offence. ®

Bootnote

*OK, that item doesn't actually exist. A couple of years back, the Register's Strategy Boutique mooted an advertising client Xmas jamboree bag containing said pen, a Vulture-themed iPhone cover, an exclusive lapdancing club VIP pass and two grams of crack cocaine.

Sadly, they just couldn't source the pens at a competitive price point.

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