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Apple plans to waggle iNormous 4½-incher in fanbois' faces

Relax, Brit 'bois, it's still below your average. But only just...

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Apple is preparing to unveil a new iPhone with a larger screen, it has been claimed.

Fruity sources suggested to the Wall Street Journal that the new phone will come in two models.

The first will have a screen of 4½ inches (11.4cm) measured diagonally, and a second version will boast a display of up to 5 inches (12.7cm).

The smaller version is ready to go, the moles continued, while the larger mobe is still in development.

For comparison's sake, the average length of a British man's most valuable possession is 14cm to 16cm (5.5 to 6.3 inches) during moments of excitement, with a girth of between 12 and 13cm (4.7 and 5.1 inches). That's based upon close examination of 11,531 men, in case you're wondering.

Apple's is expected to scrap the cheapo plastic case used in the iPhone 5C and will not use one of Samsung's curved screens.

Seeing as China is particularly fond of big phones and Apple is now flogging iPhones through the mega nation's biggest mobile provider, it might make sense to start shifting larger iPhones there.

"Apple definitely needs a larger-screen smartphone soon, particularly to address the demand in the emerging markets," said Canalys analyst Jessica Kwee. She estimated that nearly a quarter of smartphones in the third quarter of 2013 boasted screens of over five inches.

Any new phone is likely to be unveiled later this year.

All of which, naturally, leads inevitably to the question of what Apple will call the damned thing.

El Reg has previously suggested that anything with a diagonal screen size of between 5 and 7 inches should be called a Very Large Phone, or VPL.

However, as this acronym veers dangerously close to the one used to refer to a visible panty line, it's probably best to save any potential autocorrect blushes and refer to it as a Phondleslab.

Please don't use the word phablet. Thank you. ®

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