Feeds

Hadron Collider urinal cake tale wins El Reg's LHC book giveaway

'My daughter is impressed and my mother is happy' says successful scribe

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Compo Entrants to our soaraway somewhat-Hadron-Collider-themed writing competition have been biting their nails all week, desperate to know who has scooped the awesome "Large Hadron Collider Pop-Up Book: Voyage to the Heart of the Matter" prize. But now, their wait is over.

The Reg can announce that the winner of a gleaming free copy – and the envy and admiration of many millions of Reg readers, all their friends etc – is none other than Richard Hutchison, author of the haunting "Transformation of Edwin".

Reg readers were transported by the tale of the lowly urinal cake - they laughed, they cried, they were moved to vote in the poll - and the story won by a landslide 118 votes. Readers' second-favourite story about a fictional hero (or villain) of the Large Hadron Collider was Jim Beck's "Shadowman", which won 79 votes.

Edwin's humble origin story was so loved, it inspired one reader to pen the following ode to its genius:

Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin!

While another expressed their empathy and solidarity with the urinal cake thusly:

Edwin for the win - Because I too never understood why people play tennis.

Meanwhile, the man of the hour accepted his accolade with humble grace, saying:

Finding out that The Reg picked "The Transformation of Edwin" as one of the finalists was a pleasant surprise, it was an honor just making it into the subtitle. I'm glad so many others enjoyed the story and would like to thank everyone who voted for it.

My wife isn't quite sure what to think, my daughter is impressed and my mother is happy that I finally put the two concussions from my childhood to good use! Telling my coworkers about the contest may have been a mistake as this has more firmly cemented the idea that I am thoroughly nuts in the minds of several engineers. On second thought, that may be a good thing...

Congratulations Richard. Your Hadron Collider pop-up book is on its way. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
SECRET U.S. 'SPACE WARPLANE' set to return from SPY MISSION
Robot minishuttle X-37B returns after almost 2 years in orbit
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data
Hear that, 'data journalists'? Our analytics prof holds forth
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE
Fossil find proves it first happened 385 million years ago
America's super-secret X-37B plane returns to Earth after nearly TWO YEARS aloft
674 days in space for US Air Force's mystery orbital vehicle
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.