Feeds

Hadron Collider urinal cake tale wins El Reg's LHC book giveaway

'My daughter is impressed and my mother is happy' says successful scribe

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Compo Entrants to our soaraway somewhat-Hadron-Collider-themed writing competition have been biting their nails all week, desperate to know who has scooped the awesome "Large Hadron Collider Pop-Up Book: Voyage to the Heart of the Matter" prize. But now, their wait is over.

The Reg can announce that the winner of a gleaming free copy – and the envy and admiration of many millions of Reg readers, all their friends etc – is none other than Richard Hutchison, author of the haunting "Transformation of Edwin".

Reg readers were transported by the tale of the lowly urinal cake - they laughed, they cried, they were moved to vote in the poll - and the story won by a landslide 118 votes. Readers' second-favourite story about a fictional hero (or villain) of the Large Hadron Collider was Jim Beck's "Shadowman", which won 79 votes.

Edwin's humble origin story was so loved, it inspired one reader to pen the following ode to its genius:

Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin! Edwin!

While another expressed their empathy and solidarity with the urinal cake thusly:

Edwin for the win - Because I too never understood why people play tennis.

Meanwhile, the man of the hour accepted his accolade with humble grace, saying:

Finding out that The Reg picked "The Transformation of Edwin" as one of the finalists was a pleasant surprise, it was an honor just making it into the subtitle. I'm glad so many others enjoyed the story and would like to thank everyone who voted for it.

My wife isn't quite sure what to think, my daughter is impressed and my mother is happy that I finally put the two concussions from my childhood to good use! Telling my coworkers about the contest may have been a mistake as this has more firmly cemented the idea that I am thoroughly nuts in the minds of several engineers. On second thought, that may be a good thing...

Congratulations Richard. Your Hadron Collider pop-up book is on its way. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Our LOHAN spaceplane ballocket Kickstarter climbs through £8000
Through 25 per cent but more is needed: Get your UNIQUE rewards!
Cutting cancer rates: Data, models and a happy ending?
How surgery might be making cancer prognoses worse
Boffins ID freakish spine-smothered prehistoric critter: The CLAW gave it away
Bizarre-looking creature actually related to velvet worms
CRR-CRRRK, beep, beep: Mars space truck backs out of slippery sand trap
Curiosity finds new drilling target after course correction
SpaceX prototype rocket EXPLODES over Texas. 'Tricky' biz, says Elon Musk
No injuries or near injuries. Flight stayed in designated area
Brit balloon bod Bodnar overflies North Pole
B-64 amateur ultralight payload approaching second circumnavigation
Galileo, Galileo! Galileo, Galileo! Galileo fit to go. Magnifico
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me. But at least I can find my way with ESA GPS by 2017
Astronomers scramble for obs on new comet
Amateur gets fifth confirmed discovery
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?