Feeds

Microsoft: Play hookey on Xbox One day - chug a dose of ZOMBIE FLU

Tech giant pens doctor's note for your Friday sickie

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

The Microsoft Xbox One team has drawn up a draft sick note for layabouts hoping to take Friday off work to play with their new games consoles.

If you simply can't think of a good reason why you can't make it into the office, or log in remotely from home, tomorrow, Redmond bods have a template doctor's letter for you. Sadly, Xbox fiends will have to work for a very gullible boss.

The sick note reads:

To whom it may concern,

Due to the Zombie Flu your employee will not be able to fulfill the scheduled commitment he/she has with you. Because of the severity of this condition I'm prescribing a heavy dose of Xbox One. He needs to destroy zombies.

After a thorough examination, I've concluded that the all-in-one entertainment system is the only cure for the aforementioned condition.

This treatment may take anywhere from 1-3 days to work and will require years of accumulating achievements thereafter. If the patient is disrupted with work, I will have to double the prescribed amount of Xbox One.

If used effectively, Xbox One can help relieve the patient's entertainment deprivation and will have an increased state of happiness at all times.

It is signed by Major Nelson, the nickname of Lawrence "Larry" Hryb, director of programming for Xbox Live.

You can either print off the note yourself or get it emailed directly. Your resignation should probably be filed soon after. ®

Website security in corporate America

More from The Register

next story
Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed
Remastered so hard it would be difficult or impossible to master it again
Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure
State attorney demands Apple CEO bows the knee to him
4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch
For decades Hollywood actually binned its 4K files. Doh!
Your chance to WIN the WORLD'S ONLY HANDHELD ZX SPECTRUM
Reg staff not allowed to enter, god dammit
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Monitors monitor's monitoring finds touch screens have 0.4% market share
Not four. Point four. Count yer booty again, Microsoft
Getting to the BOTTOM of the great office seating debate
Belay that toil, me hearty, and park your scurvy backside
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.