Bill Gates orders hitman to kill right-hand man Steve Ballmer
'If you want to buy a Playstation 4, that's your choice...'
Bill Gates has carried out the bloody murder of his former friend and colleague Steve Ballmer.
But don't call the cops just yet, because the vicious attack actually happened in an episode of South Park which was screened last night.
In a controversial episode shown just a few days before the launch of Xbox One, Ballmer is shown telling a customer that "if they want to buy a Playstation 4, that's their choice".
This lack of loyalty is too much for Bill Gates, who says: "When I stepped down and left you in charge of the company I knew there might be some challenges for you."
Shortly afterwards, a black-clad assassin bearing a striking resemblance to Steve Jobs in the middle point of male-pattern baldness plunges a knife into Ballmer.
"Weakness is believing that competition is healthy," Gates says. "I can’t have you idiots throwing away everything I worked so hard to achieve."
Of course, Gates would never kill Ballmer. He recently welled up during a speech to shareholders while eulogising his right-hand man.
"We've got a commitment to see that the next CEO is the right person, for the right time, for the company we both love," said Gates, with a trembling voice. "We share a commitment that Microsoft will succeed as a company that makes the world a better place."
The Xbox One is released tomorrow. However, it faces stiff competition from the Playstation 4, which shifted a million units in just one day. ®