Feeds

Google barge erection hypegasm latest - What's in the box?

Shiny showroom and party boat, according to fresh rumors

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The two mysterious barges Google has parked on either side of the United States will be used as flashy product showrooms, a new report has claimed.

Speculation about the function of the two barges has raged ever since they were stationed near San Francisco's Treasure Island and off the coast of Portland, Maine. Both barges feature a large - and very ugly - makeshift four-story structure on their decks.

After frenzied reporting traced the barges back to Google, a report from a local CBS news outlet claimed the barge would not only serve as a showroom, but as a party venue.

The website alleged the barges were dreamed up at the shadowy Google[x] skunkworks facility, which is based around the corner from the advertising giant's Mountain View headquarters.

The first three floors, we're told, are intended to serve as "dazzling showrooms", complete with chrome fixtures and snazzy lighting. There is also an upper deck party floor, where rich customers can carouse with Google staff.

Being built on a moveable barge, Google's new party venues could be moored off the coast of the US one day and perhaps moved to the Thames a few weeks later.

Where it can't be moored, however, is the top of Fifth Avenue or on London's Regent Street, the locations of Apple's most famous retail stores, which are thought to have inspired Google's barge scheme.

Conspiracy theories about the barges have run all week, with some forum whackos claiming the Chocolate Factory was going to use the barges as arks, load in the animals in two by two and await the apocalypse.

Other nutjobs suggested the Bilderberg Group had persuaded Google to stash a few nuclear bombs in there, so it could blow up the US whenever it fancied getting cracking on the much-delayed New World Order project.

Given the level of secrecy surrounding the barges, it's no wonder the rumours started. Even San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee didn't know what was aboard. “They’ve kept a secret from me as well,” he said.

In a statement, the Californian Coastguard said it had carried out safety inspections of the barge, but would not tell the world what was inside it.

"The Coast Guard conducts hundreds of inspections across the region on a wide variety of commercial vessels. During the course of these activities, Coast Guard personnel are often exposed to sensitive proprietary information, new technologies, and other trade secrets. Regardless of the company or entity involved, the Coast Guard has an obligation to protect sensitive proprietary information, as a company’s competitive posture and business interests depend on it." ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.