Feeds

Snide hashtags, F1 cars, death by PowerPoint: I'm sick of EMC hypegasms

Great, the new kit. Where's the beef, chief?

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Storagebod EMC has done it again and managed to turn what could have been an interesting product refresh into something that just irritates me and many others.

It's ongoing teaser campaign started off badly when the storage giant's marketing types put up a "sneak preview" video and decided to have a dig at their lead competitor – then the flacks tweeted using the hashtag #NotAppy.

And then the hype cycle started to ramp up. So now this week we have a ridiculously overblown product launch with some tenuous link to F1 motor sport. Tyre-changing competitions and the like, which appears to be fun but it just interrupts the presentations and destroys the flow.

EMC is just very bad at this sort of thing; speeds, feeds, marketing mumbo-jumbo linked in with videos and stunts that trash competitors, bore the audience and add little value, in my honest opinion. But all with the highest production values.

So what did the event feel like? It felt like an internal knees-up, a shindig for EMC bods to high-five themselves while their customers wait patiently. This felt more like an EMC party of aeons ago along with a smattering of cheerleaders from social networks.

There was little about the value, the use-case and what it will allow customers to do. And talk about death by PowerPoint: who wants overly complex and busy slides?

And no humour … no humour at all! Make me laugh, make me smile. Obviously I’m sure that it all played well to everyone else, and perhaps I’m just not the target audience.

However, I think the technologies launched today might be interesting: I think if the VNX2 code has undergone a rewrite, it’s long overdue and an achievement. It deserved better. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Docker's app containers are coming to Windows Server, says Microsoft
MS chases app deployment speeds already enjoyed by Linux devs
'Hmm, why CAN'T I run a water pipe through that rack of media servers?'
Leaving Las Vegas for Armenia kludging and Dubai dune bashing
'Urika': Cray unveils new 1,500-core big data crunching monster
6TB of DRAM, 38TB of SSD flash and 120TB of disk storage
Facebook slurps 'paste sites' for STOLEN passwords, sprinkles on hash and salt
Zuck's ad empire DOESN'T see details in plain text. Phew!
SDI wars: WTF is software defined infrastructure?
This time we play for ALL the marbles
Windows 10: Forget Cloudobile, put Security and Privacy First
But - dammit - It would be insane to say 'don't collect, because NSA'
Oracle hires former SAP exec for cloudy push
'We know Larry said cloud was gibberish, and insane, and idiotic, but...'
Symantec backs out of Backup Exec: Plans to can appliance in Jan
Will still provide support to existing customers
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.