Feeds

Nude swimmers warned of GONAD-GOBBLING FISH ON THE LOOSE

'Testicles sit nicely in their mouth' expert tells Swedes

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Swedish men have been told to stay out of the water after a gonad-gobbling fish known as the "ball cutter" was spotted in the wild.

The warning was issued after fisherman caught what appears to be a 21cm-long pacu fish in the Oresund Sound between Denmark and Sweden.

Related to the famous Amazonian piranha, the pacu is famous for its taste for nuts of both the human and vegetable kind.

Unlucky swimmers in the Amazon and Orinoco regions – where the ball-cutter is normally found – have bled to death after the fish chowed down on their crown jewels.

Henrik Carl, a fish expert at the National History Museum in Denmark, issued this stern warning: "The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite. There have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea, where some men have had their testicles bitten off.

"They bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth. And its mouth is not so big, so of course it normally eats nuts, fruit, and small fish, but human testicles are just a natural target. It's not normal to get your testicles bitten off, of course, but it can happen, especially now in Sweden."

Swedish men, known for their predilection for naked swimming, have now been advised to cover up when they get into the sea. Although judging by the following description of the pacu fish, Swedes won't need much persuading to keep their trunks on.

"They are almost identical to the piranha; you couldn't even tell from the outside," added Carl. "It's just that they have different teeth. Flatter and stronger, perfect for crushing."

This is the first time a pacu has been spotted in European seas and DNA tests are now being carried out to suss out whether the creature the fisherman caught is a genuine ball-cutter. "This one was the first, but who knows, it's probably not the last," Carl warned. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Mitigating web security risk with SSL certificates
Web-based systems are essential tools for running business processes and delivering services to customers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.