Feeds

Nude swimmers warned of GONAD-GOBBLING FISH ON THE LOOSE

'Testicles sit nicely in their mouth' expert tells Swedes

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Swedish men have been told to stay out of the water after a gonad-gobbling fish known as the "ball cutter" was spotted in the wild.

The warning was issued after fisherman caught what appears to be a 21cm-long pacu fish in the Oresund Sound between Denmark and Sweden.

Related to the famous Amazonian piranha, the pacu is famous for its taste for nuts of both the human and vegetable kind.

Unlucky swimmers in the Amazon and Orinoco regions – where the ball-cutter is normally found – have bled to death after the fish chowed down on their crown jewels.

Henrik Carl, a fish expert at the National History Museum in Denmark, issued this stern warning: "The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite. There have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea, where some men have had their testicles bitten off.

"They bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth. And its mouth is not so big, so of course it normally eats nuts, fruit, and small fish, but human testicles are just a natural target. It's not normal to get your testicles bitten off, of course, but it can happen, especially now in Sweden."

Swedish men, known for their predilection for naked swimming, have now been advised to cover up when they get into the sea. Although judging by the following description of the pacu fish, Swedes won't need much persuading to keep their trunks on.

"They are almost identical to the piranha; you couldn't even tell from the outside," added Carl. "It's just that they have different teeth. Flatter and stronger, perfect for crushing."

This is the first time a pacu has been spotted in European seas and DNA tests are now being carried out to suss out whether the creature the fisherman caught is a genuine ball-cutter. "This one was the first, but who knows, it's probably not the last," Carl warned. ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.