Feeds

'Clippy' coup felled by Microsoft twitterati

'It looks like you think I'm dead, would you like help with your GRIEVOUS ERROR?'

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Redmond watchers discussing the corporate shake-up at Microsoft found one key figure lacking in the news: Clippy, the idiot-savant office assistant that pestered, hen-pecked, and lectured office users for a generation.

So concerned by Clippy's absence from the boardroom episode of musical chairs going on over at Microsoft was cloud storage company Box's chief Aaron Levie, that he asked on micro-chatter network Twitter the question at the back of everyone's minds: whither Clippy?

The social-media mavens manning Redmond's twitter account were quick to set the story straight, we understand, but before they could they found the cold eyes of Clippy upon them, which commandeered the account to tell Levie that it had been "Biding my time. Waiting. Planning."

The widget even attached photographic evidence of its continued existence.

Microsoft Clippy

Nemesis to many, friend to no one

The picture shows our aforementioned bent metal Twitter terrorist in some kind of underground bunker where it is surely planning its next assault onto the monitors of office workers across the world. Out of the shot, we assume, are the freshly clipped bodies of those who have stood in its way.

Though Clippy came to power when it took over the UI of Office 97, its dominance of Microsoft was short-lived. A series of high-level tussles at Redmond saw the office assistant's position of power, once so strong, ebb away until it was little more than a turned-off-by-default doohickey before being phased out in 2007. It is rumored that prior to Microsoft, Clippy was used by generations of academics to organize the pages of the flesh-bound fiendish Necronomicon manuscript.

At the time of writing, Mr. Levie had not responded to our requests for information on how he felt about the Clippy revelation. Nor were we able to confirm reports that Clippy has been seen high-tailing it away from Redmond's headquarters in the hot pink batmobile Tesla that was behind the April Fool's abduction of Google cofounder Sergey Brin. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Mitigating web security risk with SSL certificates
Web-based systems are essential tools for running business processes and delivering services to customers.