Feeds

'Clippy' coup felled by Microsoft twitterati

'It looks like you think I'm dead, would you like help with your GRIEVOUS ERROR?'

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Redmond watchers discussing the corporate shake-up at Microsoft found one key figure lacking in the news: Clippy, the idiot-savant office assistant that pestered, hen-pecked, and lectured office users for a generation.

So concerned by Clippy's absence from the boardroom episode of musical chairs going on over at Microsoft was cloud storage company Box's chief Aaron Levie, that he asked on micro-chatter network Twitter the question at the back of everyone's minds: whither Clippy?

The social-media mavens manning Redmond's twitter account were quick to set the story straight, we understand, but before they could they found the cold eyes of Clippy upon them, which commandeered the account to tell Levie that it had been "Biding my time. Waiting. Planning."

The widget even attached photographic evidence of its continued existence.

Microsoft Clippy

Nemesis to many, friend to no one

The picture shows our aforementioned bent metal Twitter terrorist in some kind of underground bunker where it is surely planning its next assault onto the monitors of office workers across the world. Out of the shot, we assume, are the freshly clipped bodies of those who have stood in its way.

Though Clippy came to power when it took over the UI of Office 97, its dominance of Microsoft was short-lived. A series of high-level tussles at Redmond saw the office assistant's position of power, once so strong, ebb away until it was little more than a turned-off-by-default doohickey before being phased out in 2007. It is rumored that prior to Microsoft, Clippy was used by generations of academics to organize the pages of the flesh-bound fiendish Necronomicon manuscript.

At the time of writing, Mr. Levie had not responded to our requests for information on how he felt about the Clippy revelation. Nor were we able to confirm reports that Clippy has been seen high-tailing it away from Redmond's headquarters in the hot pink batmobile Tesla that was behind the April Fool's abduction of Google cofounder Sergey Brin. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.