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Mad swingbelly dictator hands generals free copies of Mein Kampf

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Rotund nutjob communist dictator Kim Jong-un has been handing copies of Hitler's autobiography to his generals and ordering them to study it “in depth”, according to a North Korean dissident website.

Although nominally banned in the ultra-hardline communist state, Mein Kampf is a firm favourite of the chubby megalomaniac - or so claims New Focus International, a website run by North Korean exiles.

“Mentioning that Hitler managed to rebuild Germany in a short time following its defeat in World War One, Kim Jong-un issued an order for the Third Reich to be studied in depth and asked that practical applications be drawn from it,” an anonymous DPRK official reportedly told NFI.

It is rumoured that the Dear Leader studied Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich while at school in Switzerland.

During the previous Nork regime under Kim Jong-il, gifts of alcohol, luxury fabrics and other unobtainable consumer goods were often handed out to senior officials. Kim Jong-un, however, prefers handing out sports gear, CDs and foreign books to his favoured henchmen.

“Hundred-copy books”, so named because of their limited distribution – intended to “protect” ordinary Norks from foreign depravity – are a particular favourite of the porky president.

Official Nork sources were keen to deny Kim Jong-un's fascination with the Third Reich.

New Focus is wicked media made up of human scum,” said the official Korean Central News Agency, who added: “The group of such dirty men talked rubbish packaged in false information, a mockery of media whose basic mission is objectivity, impartiality and neutrality and an intolerable insult to human conscience.”

“No one will believe such a false report in the bright world of the 21st century,” they concluded, presumably while hunting for the next state-sanctioned girl band. ®

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