Feeds

CRUNCH: 'Drunk' chap cuffed in high-speed car nookie prang rumpus

Nude lady takes a toss, shoeless chap in cactus - cops

SANS - Survey on application security programs

An Albuquerque man found himself on the wrong end of a cuffing on Monday after cops claimed he had been engaged in drunken rumpy-pumpy behind the wheel. Local police said he had jumped a red light, ploughed into another vehicle and then attempted to evade justice by hiding in a cactus bush.

Police mugshot of Luis Briones

Prickly: Luis Briones

According to the police report, Luis Briones, 25, and his 21-year-old female companion were spotted "having sexual intercourse of some sort while driving", before the amorous coupling and their Ford Explorer came to an abrupt halt.

The woman was ejected naked from the car by the impact, said the report, but despite the fact she was "bleeding heavily from the facial and head area", Briones tried to make good his escape, cops claimed.

Police said that after a witness to the crash removed the Ford's keys, and as officers arrived at the scene, the perp legged it, "then jumped in a bush, landing and attempting to hide in a cactus".

Wearing just one shoe and "a pair of black shorts inside out", an extremely prickly Briones "continuously and adamantly refused to submit to a blood test", was "obscene and uncooperative" and "refused to keep his pants on", according to cops, who said they had found an almost-empty bottle of vodka in his car.

The other half of the beast with two backs and four wheels, meanwhile, was taken to hospital in a "stable" condition with face and head lacerations. The woman, who has not been named, is expected to recover and has not been charged.

Briones is now languishing in Bernalillo County jail, "where he is being held in lieu of $22,000 bond". ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.