Feeds

Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are WAY more fun

A force of heavily armed au pairs, for instance

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

A coffee date with Tim Cook has sold for the whopping price of $610,000 to an anonymous bidder.

The spendthrift Apple fan* will get half an hour with the fruity firm's CEO, during which tête-à-tête he or she will no doubt want to ask Mr Cook why Cupertino charges 65 quid for a Macbook power charger or perhaps explore the Cupertinian liking for offshore tax schemes.

The proceeds from the CharityBuzz auction went towards The RFK Center for Justice and Human Rights.

So what else could you have bought?

About 248,980 extra cups of coffee without Cook, according to the average price given in these stats. This works out to about three cups a day for 227 years.

You could also buy a Ferrari Enzo and have some change left over from the $500,000 bill.

For a small extra payment, you could also buy a small archipelago in the middle of Saimaa Lake in Finland. One of the islands boasts a sauna, so visitors can perform the time-honoured Fenno-Scandinavian tradition of getting naked, beating each with leafy branches and then diving into freezing water.

You could buy an ultra-limited edition Nissan Juke as well. Just 25 or so are being made and they are likely to be snapped up by minted Middle Easterners, who like to go and race around the deserts in flash cars.

The free-spending fanboi may have also preferred to hire a small army of around 60 au pairs for a year. The same $610,000 again could arm a sizeable revolutionary movement with 1,142 AK-47s. Should one require a less subtle weapon, you could buy nine of these Soviet SU-100 tanks, which were produced just after World War II.

Or some combination of the last three options might be in order. The average au pair could surely be taught to handle an AK without much difficulty, but there might be a few mishaps with the tanks.

And you'd rather have coffee with Tim Cook? Pah. ®

Bootnote

*Or, just possibly, a well-funded monomaniac bent on assassinating the Fruitmunch overlord by means of poisoned frappucino for reasons of his or her own: dislike of iThings, anger at the swingeing cut the App Store snatches from devs' revenues, idolatrous rage against Cook for supplanting the holy Jobs, etc etc. Just speculating.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
The total economic impact of Druva inSync
Examining the ROI enterprises may realize by implementing inSync, as they look to improve backup and recovery of endpoint data in a cost-effective manner.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.